AH Has One Year To Live
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 217
I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my husband after 35 years of marriage but it wasn't to alcohol but to cigs. It is very hard at first. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk to someone who has been through it. In the beginning I thought that I would never be able to survive but I did. Again, my heart goes out to you and your family.
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
So sorry to hear about your loss Linda. I have thought about you often since first reading your post. I am so glad that you have followed up with us as well. I do believe that someone in our SR community will read your story and come to a conclusion about their own life or someone close to them. There is no doubt that you have touched many by sharing this very personal account.
May God bless you and keep you and your family.
May God bless you and keep you and your family.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Linda, I am very sorry to hear about this. 
You are in my thoughts.
Thank you for reminding us of this, despite your grief... You are an inspiration.
You are in my thoughts.
Originally Posted by resentful wife 
I do hope that the new posters, the lurkers and the old posters that are lurking will rethink their lifes, give quiting another try and see their doctors. Don't put your loved ones thru this, I had six months to prepare knowing that he was dying and I'm still numb.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
I notice you thank my posts sometimes and wondered about your story. I just read this thread and am shocked at your story and that you still come on SR to offer support pretty much blows me away. Your grieving process must be complex and difficult with the way your husband died. I can't imagine.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
(((Linda)))
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's good that you shared that because it shows the reality of what happens if we don't quit drinking.
I lost a family member to alcoholism a few years ago. He declined rapidly in health in a few short months just as you mentioned in this post. It is very sad.
My thoughts are with you today.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's good that you shared that because it shows the reality of what happens if we don't quit drinking.
I lost a family member to alcoholism a few years ago. He declined rapidly in health in a few short months just as you mentioned in this post. It is very sad.
My thoughts are with you today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: corpus christi, tx
Posts: 211
Kathleen, Hope, Thank You both for your posts and bumping this up. Maybe some of our new members will gain from it.
Kathleen, I keep comming to SR because the people here helped me to see so clearly what I was missing trying to figure things out on my own.
I was my husbands drinking buddy for the first eight years of our marriage. I was drinking just for the sake of drinking and had been long before I met him. Just as he had been drinking long before he met me. I'll be 55 in a few days and I started drinking more than just socialy at 28. When I found SR I had already stopped drinking everyday with him and began to notice just how much he was putting away everyday. I knew how he felt about AA and I knew he didn't want to be labled an alcoholic. He was very functional and we didn't fight there was no abuse of any nature. What I didn't know was how to live with an alcoholic when I wasn't drinking. SR taught me things to do to cope and reading of other A's and thier stories and struggles let me inside his mind a little. It also let me know that no matter how much I loved him I couldn't change him, it was his job only and I had to take care of me.
While I was drinking my stories are the same as most everyone else. Blackouts, bone head stunts, driving, regrets and hangovers.
So I just stopped, I never had withdrawals and even to this day I know if I want a drink I can have JUST ONE! But I just don't want any. And I know I wouldn't have coped well with everything thats happened if I had been still drinking.
As far as griving I don't think that I've had time to fully grive since he died. There has been so much that has had to be done to take care of me and it seems like every bit of paperwork I have to complete involves proving that he did live and he did die.
Another reason I keep comming back to SR is I am so proud of every one who is working so hard to not drink and I'm proud of the way everyone supports one another with love and understanding.
Keep up the good fight and know tha while I may not always post I'll be walking beside each of you and saying Way To Go!!
Linda
Kathleen, I keep comming to SR because the people here helped me to see so clearly what I was missing trying to figure things out on my own.
I was my husbands drinking buddy for the first eight years of our marriage. I was drinking just for the sake of drinking and had been long before I met him. Just as he had been drinking long before he met me. I'll be 55 in a few days and I started drinking more than just socialy at 28. When I found SR I had already stopped drinking everyday with him and began to notice just how much he was putting away everyday. I knew how he felt about AA and I knew he didn't want to be labled an alcoholic. He was very functional and we didn't fight there was no abuse of any nature. What I didn't know was how to live with an alcoholic when I wasn't drinking. SR taught me things to do to cope and reading of other A's and thier stories and struggles let me inside his mind a little. It also let me know that no matter how much I loved him I couldn't change him, it was his job only and I had to take care of me.
While I was drinking my stories are the same as most everyone else. Blackouts, bone head stunts, driving, regrets and hangovers.
So I just stopped, I never had withdrawals and even to this day I know if I want a drink I can have JUST ONE! But I just don't want any. And I know I wouldn't have coped well with everything thats happened if I had been still drinking.
As far as griving I don't think that I've had time to fully grive since he died. There has been so much that has had to be done to take care of me and it seems like every bit of paperwork I have to complete involves proving that he did live and he did die.
Another reason I keep comming back to SR is I am so proud of every one who is working so hard to not drink and I'm proud of the way everyone supports one another with love and understanding.
Keep up the good fight and know tha while I may not always post I'll be walking beside each of you and saying Way To Go!!
Linda
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Linda,
Thanks for sharing even more of your story. I'm glad I found this thread. And yes, I'm not surprised your true grieiving hasn't started yet because you've been busy with the t crossing and i dotting, etc. It hasn't even been 2 months. It takes at least a full calendar year to mourn, a lot more for others. Do it in your time and never let anyone tell you when you should start or be done with it. It's personal.
Thanks for sharing even more of your story. I'm glad I found this thread. And yes, I'm not surprised your true grieiving hasn't started yet because you've been busy with the t crossing and i dotting, etc. It hasn't even been 2 months. It takes at least a full calendar year to mourn, a lot more for others. Do it in your time and never let anyone tell you when you should start or be done with it. It's personal.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Thank you for sharing your pain and experience. I don't want to put my family and friends thru such agony. I want to stay sober for my own good and for theirs. In sharing your experience, you have helped me to stay sober. I will always be grateful to you.
:ghug3
:ghug3
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Linda my sincerest condolances of his passing. Your coming here and sharing assures that he did not die in vain. I would be willing to bet that bringing the ultimate outcome of alcoholic on a very personal level will help at least one alcoholic be able to see the importance of getting and staying sober.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
I hear it said in the rooms that some of us die so that others may live, your sharing your husbands passing is doing just that.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
I hear it said in the rooms that some of us die so that others may live, your sharing your husbands passing is doing just that.
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