Hollister

Okay so I’m 20 years old and a college student. I’ve been drinking since I was 12 or so, I don’t know. I used to drink all the time, but I don’t drink as much anymore. At the start of college I was drinking every day, because, well...it was just the whole college experience thing. Anyways, I stopped doing that after I got alcohol poising. I failed a lot of classes last term and got fired from both my jobs, so I figured I needed to get things in order.
So now...I do this weird thing...I go like 2-3 weeks being sober, then I get really really really drunk. Like blackout, every time and I drink rum, vodka or lately 151 straight from the bottle, and way too much of it way to fast. Anyways, I’m completely addicted to sleeping pills also, which I know is really bad for your liver, as is drinking, so I’m sort of freaked out by that and think I should stop drinking. I mean I’m definitely not an alcoholic, nor do I think I’m on my way to becoming one, but I don’t want to risk my health. Alcoholism runs in my family I think , at least a lot of them are alcoholics, IDK if it’s genetic.
My friends at college think I have a problem. I don’t really think I do. I just sort of consider myself a normal college student. I think college students do risk the health of their bodies without caring or maybe even realizing it. Basically, what I’m asking is, do I have a problem? Should I just cut back on drinking, or should I completely quit all together? Cause I don’t think I could completely quit? IDK, it’s possible but I doubt it.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, hollister. i have a daughter a few years older than you who suffers from alcohol/cocaine addiction. she left college without a degree and struggles now to hold down a job and in her relationships. she is not in any kind of recovery program today.

she has tried many times to "control" her drinking and using. it almost always ends with tough consequences.

keep posting, and i hope you can find some answers here. lots of folks who care, so don't be a stranger!

hugs, k

tay-lyn

Hi Hollister;
Whether you do or you don't have a problem with alcohol, you express a desire to quit. You don't have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking. If booze is causing you problems, then you may want to consider sobriety. Is it easy? No. Is drinking easy? No. But sobriety offers much more than the bottle does. For me, I have zero control over myself when I take that first sip. I ALWAYS black out, just after a couple now. I no longer have the option to drink unless I want to be 'that sloppy drunk'. There is no inbetween for me. One sip means a drunk........which I will blackout, so I won't even know what I did or said.
If you want to stop. All you have to do is try. That is what we all do here. We try each day to get through the day without a drink.
You're in the right place, there is a ton of great support and kindness here.
Stick around....

Hollister

Thank you, to the both of you.

I think my biggest problem is that, once I start drinking I can’t say no, even when I should. Like I'll say "Okay I'm only going to have 8 shots tonight" (I don't really count the lighter stuff) and then I drink way more then that.

tay-lyn

That's my problem too, which is why I say one sip is too much. I absolutely, positively, cannot stop once I've started. The alcohol takes over and I am just a passenger. For ME, thats a problem.

GreenTea

Welcome To SR, Hollister! You're in the right place.

Here's something you might be interested in reading, while you consider whether or not recovery is right for you...

Excerpts: Under The Influence

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not. I think that's something you need to figure out for yourself... *IF* you are, then I would urge you to come to terms with it sooner rather than later, instead of spending years denying it and letting it grow.

For a long time, "protecting my right to drink" was very important to me and my denial was strong... I'm not saying that you are in the same situation. I'm saying that you might want to ask yourself what kind of a life do you want?

For me, sober is much, *much* better than the h#ll I put myself (and others) through repeatedly with my drinking.

Here's something which, in my opinion, is very telling...

Blackout drinking *is* considered characteristic of alcoholism. There are those who say that "normal drinkers" are simply not physically capable of consuming enough alcohol to have a blackout. Their bodies reject the alcohol long before their BAL gets to that point.

I hear your honesty, (and maybe some fear, too). Its good that you're thinking about this, especially as young as you are. You still have your whole life in front of you.

What kind of a life do you want it to be? ... Only you can answer that.

You are not alone! ... Keep coming back!

Tazman53

Hollister I am an alcoholic, I found a solution for my alcoholism, one part of that solution was for me to determine if I was an alcoholic or not, I will not get into details on my alcoholism right now but I would like to suggest you take this test and then do some thinking Alcoholics Anonymous :

Now if I may quote you:

Check out question #2

Check out question #6

Checkout question #12.

If you take that test and any other out there and decide that you are an alcoholic there is one thing I would like you to know that is a scientific fact that from personal experience can attest to, alcoholism never gets better, as long as one drinks it only gets worse! The only treatment for alcoholism that arrest the disease is total abstinance from alcohol, start drinking again and the disease picks right up where it left off, even if you go 20 years without a drink.

There are very few ending to alcoholism:

1. Death
2. Institutions
3. Prison
4. Insanity
5. Sobriety

The vast majority of alcoholics end their drinking with options 1-4, some of us are lucky and find #5 to be the easier softer way even though it takes work to maintain.

unigirl

Hi Hollister, welcome to S.R. I am a 20 yr old female at uni too. Like u i thought that mb my drinking was 'normal' for a student. Bt i was kidding myself- my mates didnt drink every night- nor did they blackout out regularly. I also realised i felt different about booze than they did. After i had guilt, shame and remorse. They didnt. I drank to escape myself- they didnt. Like you many of my family are alcoholic. Both my parents are in A..A which i feel very lucky about today- if they weren't i doubt i wud have realised the extent of my prob so early on. I wish u all the best - and it doesnt matter what your mates think about your drinking- ultimately its got to be down to you. If you think your drinking is doing you more harm then good- maybe u could try quitting? And See what happens for you when you do. Keep posting- everyone here is a great help- and have been in my early sobriety