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Well its been a very long time since Ive been here on SR. Some of you may remember me, some Im sure could care less. But like so many here I am again. Its such a stupid cycle and the thing is it will prob not be the last time it happens. If you dont remember here is my story. Im 39 and have been drinking since I was 15. Not every day mind you and early on thru college just the weekends and not everyweekend. My 30s is when the problem started. I work out of our house and my wife has a full time job so Im home alone thru the week. Just one day like 6 years ago a Monday probably I started drinking home alone during the day and passing out before my wife gets home. Thats how my binges go anyway. The thing is and probably the worst part of it is I can go a month maybe even 2 without a drink or drink under control for up to almost 2 months last time. Just having drinks on weekends with pals at the bar or going out to eat with the wife or playing cards on the weekends with friends over but then it something happends. Superbowl sunday we had a party here, lots of beer being drank, I had my share and for some reason on monday instead of it being like all those other mondays were it didnt happen it did, I drank first thing monday morning and binged and passed out before my wife got home for a week straight. Now Im going thru the remorse of the stupid things I do during that week of binging, Ive ruined my credit, my bank account is overdrawn by a ton, I almost completely ignore my 2 year old and my wife (the worst part for me). Its awful, its like every 2 months this happens at least once. And I know I will say this is it no more of it but we have a concert coming up in about a months time and its away and we are getting a room and living it up without the 2 year old for the first time since he was born and I know how I will fill and say "oh I havent drank in almost a month just drinking this night wont hurt" and it wont not for prob a month of either not drinking or under control drinking then bam, Im sitting here typing on this site again. Well sorry this was so long, I just needed to get it all off my chest.... hope everyone else is doing well...

CAPTAINZING2000

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.


Doesn't matter the amount of time from the first to last drink it's when the drink causes problems

For a long time, I didn't drink every day. At the last, my drinking became every day.

Can you consolidate your debts?

Have you ever tried attending AA ??

Many problems you're facing, most of us have been thru

reed

self control or no drink @ all.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi,

There's help if you want it. Welcome!

You can go to that concert and whoop it up without drinking ya know..I do lots of things now that I didn't think that I could do before I got sober, and it's fun.

Karen

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thanks for replying so quickly guys, it means a lot, I really could us some support right about now.... Captainzing2000 yes Ive been to several AA meetings, the town Im from is really small though and the meetings are pretty useless. Pretty much the only people that go are the ones that are either on work release and its an hour out of jail or they have been court ordered to be there. I mean the guy leading actually said at the start of one meeting how he knows no one wants to be here so lets just get this over with as fast we can. Sooo not much help on that front here....

Emily2002

Same for me. In FACT part of what's been on my mind for much of the last few hours is thinking about this Thursday night when my husband and I've planned to go out for sushi. The place is a BYOB, it'll be Valentine's day, and I can't IMAGINE he'll want to go without a bottle of wine. I'm now dreading what would normally be something to look forward to, because I don't want to drink -- and I do -- and I don't.... And I'm angry about it!!!!

Guess we just have to keep at it.
Does your wife drink? Not trying to be nosey, but my other half does does regularly and having it around all the time is so freakin' hard.

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No your not being nosey and yes she does and has for as long as I have she just doesnt have a problem with it like I do after a while. Hell with me going thru what Im going thru at home she went out with her friends after work yesterday for there usual friday beers, she said after the week I put her thru she needed and the sad part was I didnt blame her and was pissed cause I messed up again and couldnt join her.... So many things we have always done drinking, and all of them fun, hell we prob never would have met or gotten married without it, our kid was concieved because of it (we were trying so it was an accident). So yes Im right there with you this valentines day, cant imagine no wine, I do but I dont as well... its so frustraiting

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that should have been we were trying so he wasnt an accident but were drunk...

Emily2002

We've got four and for us it was white russians...

Thing is -- I think mine has a problem but doesn't want to admit it. He rarely goes a night without two or more martinis even when he knows it's tough for me not to and pretend I don't mind. I do.

Have the two of you talked about how you're going to approach the weekend? I mean -- since she doesn't have a problem -- would she be willing to go without drinking as well? At least stay dry while you're working through this? Sounds like she can at least go out with friends to chill...

CarolD

For me to finally quit....
I had to want to be sober
more than I wanted to drink.

I do hope you will get to that point
before more damage is done.

Take care....the future you can save
is your own.

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thanks everyone, I really needed the support...

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bump... sorry its been a hard day, day 2 all over again and again and again.....