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Life tests you harder when you try to stay sober, WHY!

Old 02-08-2008, 01:29 PM
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Life tests you harder when you try to stay sober, WHY!

Ok, for some reason life seems to throw extra challenges on me when I have a few days of Sobriety. I am trying to get it all together and would like life to just give me a few days to try and get a handle on things but, the universe has another plan. Last night I was dealing with some stress, worked through it, was finally at a more comfortable place, I am driving home then this car comes zooming up this narrow hill I try and pull over as much as possible and bam, the side of my rental car makes contact with a parked cars bumper leaving doing a pretty serious number to the paint job on the rental car.
I look at the parked car, its is old and has lots of old bumps and chips and etc damage all over it from , looked at the bumper it had some paint chipped off forsure but nowhere near the damage on the new rental car I am driving.
I decide to leave a note since I want to do the right thing, even though there is the alcoholic voice in my mind saying don't. But I do. Anyways it is Sat here, I am in NewZealand, the rental was through work so I have to wait till monday to talk to someone from work but the damage is not that bad, probably 1k or less (sucks) but could be worse. I still have my sobriety but I gotta tell you, I sure felt like getting hammered, I wanted to run so far away from that straight to the bar and my dealer but I didn't. Its Saturday here I am working today and works stresses are getting to me as well, so badly want to go to a meeting but work will not allow it at this point, so I wanted to check in with you all online. Thanks for listening to my share.
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Old 02-08-2008, 01:35 PM
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Lift isn't testing you harder. Life is showing you better then what could be.

If you were not sober, what would be your problems at this moment?
You could be in jail waiting for someone to bail you out and be sitting with no job stress because you have no job.
I will take the stress and what life deals my way over what life would be like if I was drinking every time.
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Old 02-08-2008, 01:44 PM
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I agree with Best you could have been drinking when this happened. I can see the benifit of not drinking right there.

And yes we still have up's and down's in life. But doing them sober is worth it.
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Old 02-08-2008, 01:55 PM
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Thanks for the support my freinds. I really appreciate it. I am currently working 65+ hour weeks on average and am really having thoughts about needing to find a new type of job for sobrieties sake. How much time do you think I should wait before making that type of decision?
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Old 02-08-2008, 02:32 PM
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life does that from time to times. just hafta deal with it, it never goes away until we die and i don't think any of us are even sure about that one. its good to share whats bothering you though and that situation sure would bother me, hopefully it all will work out. i once hit a car with my jeep when backing out of a parking spot drunk. the person wasn't there but i left a note cause it was the right thing to do. i even went looking for the owner of the vehicle the next day. no where to be found. they never called....life happens...
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Old 02-08-2008, 03:15 PM
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Hey Seek,

You sound like me a couple of weeks ago. I had just quit drinking and it seems all of life's problems happend all in a couple of days. But thanks to the support and good advice I got here (which I see you're getting too), I made it through in okay shape, and sober.

Keep your head up. It gets better.
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Old 02-08-2008, 03:55 PM
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Thanks, this is really helping since I cant get to a in person meeting because I am at work. When I think about the fact that I dont have the reward to look forward to of my end of work I get really depressed, I mean I dont really want to have a drink I want to be clean, but having that drink to look forward to as the reward for the day is what I miss.
I wonder also has anyone been told that they should not make any career decisions when getting early sobriety. My job really stresses me out and I am thinking about leaving, but I am currently oversees and I realize not having a job would probably not be that great either right now. Anyone ever received any good advice about that?
Thanks a million everyone you are the world to me right now.
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Old 02-08-2008, 04:13 PM
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Your career responsibilities are somewhat like mine. Major responsibilities, long hours, away from home (I get home on the weekends though). Personally, I wouldn't make any career decisions while in early sobriety. I am finding that I can easily handle the stress and I like the responsibilty now that I don't have to contend with hangovers, exhaustion, and drinking-related work issues. I am frustrated that I am unable to attend many AA meetings and work with my sponsor as much as I would like to but I am trying to accept it as being meant to be this way.

As far as a reward goes, waking up without a hangover, guilt free, and with a sense of accomplishment is my reward. I do have some tough times after work (mainly loneliness and a sense of being deprived) but this reward has been one of the things keeping me motivated.
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Old 02-08-2008, 08:35 PM
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When I hear stories at meetings or from the big book, The stories I hear, sound so much worse then my own drinking stories that I begin to think that just one drink every now and again would not be so bad. How do you deal with that as a newcomer who's stories are not as crazy as the others? Thanks!
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Old 02-08-2008, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by SeekSobriety View Post
When I hear stories at meetings or from the big book, The stories I hear, sound so much worse then my own drinking stories that I begin to think that just one drink every now and again would not be so bad. How do you deal with that as a newcomer who's stories are not as crazy as the others? Thanks!
This really got to me at first. As a matter of fact, I started a thread in the AA forum after my sponsor called me a "high-bottom" drunk:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ed-advice.html.

I received unbelievable advice that really changed my thinking. At first, I felt like it was a contest, who was the biggest screw-up, and I was just a pup. I was insulted and felt like an outsider.

Now, I am so grateful that I quit drinking before I did lose everything. I try to focus on MY recovery and use the stories of others as inspiration and to learn. I know one drink WILL put me back into my own personal hell - this has nothing to do with anyone else. And I really believe that others in AA have my back 100% regardless of how I got there.
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Old 02-08-2008, 09:15 PM
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The fellowship of AA has been a great gift to me, as a man with a background in clinical psychology meetings often fascinate me. My experience with some groups is that members attempt to "out sick" each other.
As in "I drank two pints of whiskey just to get out of bed,"

"Well I drank 4 pints"

"That's nothing, I drank 7 pints and resorted to canibalism"

this is extreme but you get my point and probably have witnessed this group mentality.

Other peoples war stories don't impact me one way or the other. I know I am a real alcohlic for several reasons. When I drink I lose all control, I have no power over the amount I drink once I start. I am restless, irritable and discontent unless I can experience the ease and comfort which a few drinks gives me. I can reconcile my personal experience with every description our basic text, The Big Book uses to describe alcoholism.

My suggestion, find a sponsor who understands the nature of alcoholism and submit yourself to the process, an authentic 1st step experience will reveal your truth, then you can make an informed decision as to if you even need AA and the program of recovery. I wish you well. Rob
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:00 PM
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"That's nothing, I drank 7 pints and resorted to canibalism"


hoo.
that was great. classic.
*I'm gonna steal that one*

I'll be snickering on that one for the rest of the night - thanks!

Seeks -
you've gotten some good feedback on here - I hope it helps.
Speaking personally, I have it on good authority that sober people hit other sober people with their vehicles ... pretty regularly.

Welcome to life.

It WILL calm down.
Believe.
It WILL.

And we're all pulling for ya, and here for ya - until it does.
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:35 PM
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Stop and think, you weren't injured. That is the most important thing .

My early days in sobriety were such a haze, I can hardly recall them.

Since that time, I've had some really bad things happen in my life. Nothing major just life things. I'd of hated to have the things happen in my early days happen to me like I've just had happen.

Getting drunk wouldn't have fixed your rental!!

F- FACE
E- EVERYTHING
A- AND
R -RECOVER

Believe in your self. Nothing can stop you if, you keep trying to do the right thing.
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:37 PM
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Thank you guys for the advice and words of wisdom, it means the world to me right now, as I am at work and far away from family and my AA groups. I really am taking in what you have shared, I really am.
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:40 PM
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same planet...different world
 
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good to see ya, seeks.

what're you doin in NZ anyhow - you a sheepdog trainer or something?
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:49 PM
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OY!

I'm in NZ-I'm no sheepdog trainer! LOL

There are tons of AA meetings here every day Seeks.Hope you find one that suits.Google AA meetings NZ-there's a list there.

I hope you're doing ok.

Jules.
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Old 02-08-2008, 11:19 PM
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same planet...different world
 
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just tryin to lighten things up a tad, Jules.

Everybody knows that New Zealand is chock full of .. chock full of ... ummm... got lots of ... tons ... there's even a few ... ummm...
*cough*
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Old 02-08-2008, 11:30 PM
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an AA home page for NZ that Jules alluded to can be found at Alcoholics Anonymous - A NZ Online Resource

D
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Old 02-08-2008, 11:52 PM
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I am here on business, I work in Film. As for the AA NZ resources, thanks for that. I am hoping to get to a meeting in person here although work is 6-7 days a week 15-18 hour days, so making a meeting is pretty tough but if I have tomorrow off (I doubt) I will make it, I am trying some online meetings though. Pretty interesting!
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Old 02-09-2008, 12:38 AM
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thanks Seeks - I had a feeling that's what it was, TBH...

you're doing great and glad to see you have a sense of humor as well!

I've noticed that humore ... playes a gigantic role in recovery.

"We are not a somber lot"
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