Do you ever think back to before you ever started drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 174
Do you ever think back to before you ever started drinking?
Do you ever sit and consider the times back before life got all fuzzy?
Lately I've noticed myself trying to get back that same perspective I had as an eighteen year old who didn't drink.
I spent my eighteenth summer away from home. taking a class on Pop Culture...Didn't drink, had no desire. I had brought a gram of marijuana, which I didn't smoke until my eight-week program was all but over. I started smoking cigarettes that summer.
I find myself trying to get that perspective again. Thinking about the advice I'd give that kid, and if that kid has any advice for me.
Does anyone else think back to those times before alcohol and substance abuse? Am I the only one who tries to figure out what was different then?
I'd love to hear from anyone who feels the same, or even if you're interested in telling me I'm nuts.
B'sT
Lately I've noticed myself trying to get back that same perspective I had as an eighteen year old who didn't drink.
I spent my eighteenth summer away from home. taking a class on Pop Culture...Didn't drink, had no desire. I had brought a gram of marijuana, which I didn't smoke until my eight-week program was all but over. I started smoking cigarettes that summer.
I find myself trying to get that perspective again. Thinking about the advice I'd give that kid, and if that kid has any advice for me.
Does anyone else think back to those times before alcohol and substance abuse? Am I the only one who tries to figure out what was different then?
I'd love to hear from anyone who feels the same, or even if you're interested in telling me I'm nuts.
B'sT
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
You're nuts.
sorry - never give me lines like that
I didn't ever think back to days before I drank - not for many years mostly cos I was always too drunk to remember back that far.
But as my sobriety has gone on, I find myself becoming more and more a person I thought I'd lost forever. I'm not exactly the same - I'm 20 years older - but the basic 'good' me - hopeful,honest, open, strong, principled - is there again, only better with (dare I say it) a bit of maturity and wisdom.
Life is good.
D
sorry - never give me lines like that
I didn't ever think back to days before I drank - not for many years mostly cos I was always too drunk to remember back that far.
But as my sobriety has gone on, I find myself becoming more and more a person I thought I'd lost forever. I'm not exactly the same - I'm 20 years older - but the basic 'good' me - hopeful,honest, open, strong, principled - is there again, only better with (dare I say it) a bit of maturity and wisdom.
Life is good.
D
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
I find that it is unhealthy for me to live in a state of regression. I might have accomplished a whole hell of a lot more if I never picked up. Considering, I got kicked out of a decent highschool for smoking grass- that really messed my education up. However, I don't think I would change anything at all. I would not give any non users advice- I just now I won't buy em booze or drugs. I'm the same as I was before use and abuse now that I'm sober again. Oh yeah, you are nuts, call Happy Acres.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
Hiya,
Funny you ask that, i'm often thinking back to days before i drank- which was basically my childhood- as i drank from 14.
I've heard a lot of ppl in A.A say it - and it was certainly the case with me, that even as a child i remember feeling inferior and perhaps more importantly 'different'. I never ever felt 'normal'. I had a lot of happy times don't get me wrong. But i think the feelings i held before i drank all seemed to go when i was drunk. I dunno if it's the only reason i drank- probably not infact. However i think drinking to escape myself- my feelings of discontent - are important to look at now as i still have those feelings today. So now im also concentrating on the solution- for me the 12 step program A.A offers. I am desperate to start this so i can work through my character defects i've had from a child. Rather than blot them out (and worsen them) through drinking.
Funny you ask that, i'm often thinking back to days before i drank- which was basically my childhood- as i drank from 14.
I've heard a lot of ppl in A.A say it - and it was certainly the case with me, that even as a child i remember feeling inferior and perhaps more importantly 'different'. I never ever felt 'normal'. I had a lot of happy times don't get me wrong. But i think the feelings i held before i drank all seemed to go when i was drunk. I dunno if it's the only reason i drank- probably not infact. However i think drinking to escape myself- my feelings of discontent - are important to look at now as i still have those feelings today. So now im also concentrating on the solution- for me the 12 step program A.A offers. I am desperate to start this so i can work through my character defects i've had from a child. Rather than blot them out (and worsen them) through drinking.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I dont think about those days now that I am in recovery.
But I use to all the time when I was using.
I would think..what the heck made me decide to go this way in life?
I was a very sheltered,naive, good girl before I was turned out to hardcore drugs and street life.
I did excellent in school and would never think of doing those things I saw on the news or heard about.
But there I was living it and then some.
Only made me get high more to think how much I screwed my life up.
I remember my grams saying one time when I was really high and very out of control. She was crying and said.."What happened to my little girl?"
I will never forget that.
I just got tears in my eyes just typing that.
Now I think of how life was when I was using so I dont ever want to go back.
But I use to all the time when I was using.
I would think..what the heck made me decide to go this way in life?
I was a very sheltered,naive, good girl before I was turned out to hardcore drugs and street life.
I did excellent in school and would never think of doing those things I saw on the news or heard about.
But there I was living it and then some.
Only made me get high more to think how much I screwed my life up.
I remember my grams saying one time when I was really high and very out of control. She was crying and said.."What happened to my little girl?"
I will never forget that.
I just got tears in my eyes just typing that.
Now I think of how life was when I was using so I dont ever want to go back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
B'sT
yep, your nutz! lol
for me, i was sucking on gin in my baby bottle!
j/k
i started at 12+ years old, dont remember too much before that, some good childhood moments tho...
i stoped at 48!
so now, i look back at the early days of my sobriety, and look at them as my adolensence...
Hmmm!, lets see... i'm 53 now...
so i'm really almost five years old!
with a good run'n start!
love ya B'sT
rz
yep, your nutz! lol
for me, i was sucking on gin in my baby bottle!
j/k
i started at 12+ years old, dont remember too much before that, some good childhood moments tho...
i stoped at 48!
so now, i look back at the early days of my sobriety, and look at them as my adolensence...
Hmmm!, lets see... i'm 53 now...
so i'm really almost five years old!
with a good run'n start!
love ya B'sT
rz
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I don't remember much of my life before picking up. I do recall being depressed and unhappy much of the time. The booze helped those feelings, or so I thought. Addiction was hard on my heels.
Fast forward 20 years - Ro entered recovery, and thank God for that.
Fast forward 20 years - Ro entered recovery, and thank God for that.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Since I didn't start 'drinking' like the alcoholic I am until I was 43 ... yeah
Being able to draw from a goodly amount of sober life experiences has helped me tremendously in staying sober during these rough spots.
I'm one right out of the Big Book - didn't start drinking until later in life - and deaxd within five years' types.
It's not living in the past what so ever for me.
Not at all.
It's a wealth of memory and living resource that can be utilized in the present.
Being able to draw from a goodly amount of sober life experiences has helped me tremendously in staying sober during these rough spots.
I'm one right out of the Big Book - didn't start drinking until later in life - and deaxd within five years' types.
It's not living in the past what so ever for me.
Not at all.
It's a wealth of memory and living resource that can be utilized in the present.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Sense I started drinking and smoking grass at 12 it is hard to put it perspective. I can remember but I was far from being an adult with adult responsibilities. Most of my adult decision making has been under the influence of something. Although I had three years sober once and a pair of years during adulthood I guess that's the only reference I have to go by. Oh and yes you are absolutly nuts I'm glad you asked I hate giving bad news to people.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
I started boozing about 16 and don't really think back to before that time. The first few years of drinking and some of the really crazy antics though, keep coming to the surface after being buried for years.Hopefully i have learnt enough to watch out for my kids and to guide them but i was hot headed and wasn't one for listening to anyone else.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
Do I ever think back before I ever
started drinking? Sure......
On page 83 of the BIG BOOK
This is a portion taken from the
PROMISES written...
In recovery we would not regret
the past nor wish to shut the door
on it....
I was a nieve child growing up
in much dysfunction....much
hurt and pain endured from
physical and verbal abuse......
How could I not forget that,
because it hurt so bad....
Yet in the mist of all i went thru
there was moments of goodness
shining thru.....maybe because
of my Catholic upbringing and
having faith......
Sure, i grew up with alcohol
in the family......i witness
the distruction it had on one
of my parents who mixed
alcohol and prescription drugs
together and saw a Dr. Jeckel/
Mr. Hyde person always emerging.
Seeing the affects of the 2
that did to her, I swore i never
would end up like her.....
Thanks to my HP, i didnt
abuse my 2 AWESOME little
adults who r now 23 and 20.
Sure I reflect on my past as
it helps me learn who I was
before the disease of alcoholism
almost took my life.
I was a little child ......
a child of God....one of His
little children who blossemed
later in life....who endured pain
and survived.....who believes
today the I have a purpose
in life and that I am worthy.
The past is filled with a wealth
of knowledge to help us find
out who we truely are.
From birth....we were born
innocent little ones.....and
with what we learned from
those around us with what
they had.....we emerged
into the persons we became
and what we are becoming
today....
I have a purpose in life today....
to help the next person achieving
sobriety by sharing my own
experiences strengths and hope
with them.
Thanks for letting me share.
By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
Do I ever think back before I ever
started drinking? Sure......
On page 83 of the BIG BOOK
This is a portion taken from the
PROMISES written...
In recovery we would not regret
the past nor wish to shut the door
on it....
I was a nieve child growing up
in much dysfunction....much
hurt and pain endured from
physical and verbal abuse......
How could I not forget that,
because it hurt so bad....
Yet in the mist of all i went thru
there was moments of goodness
shining thru.....maybe because
of my Catholic upbringing and
having faith......
Sure, i grew up with alcohol
in the family......i witness
the distruction it had on one
of my parents who mixed
alcohol and prescription drugs
together and saw a Dr. Jeckel/
Mr. Hyde person always emerging.
Seeing the affects of the 2
that did to her, I swore i never
would end up like her.....
Thanks to my HP, i didnt
abuse my 2 AWESOME little
adults who r now 23 and 20.
Sure I reflect on my past as
it helps me learn who I was
before the disease of alcoholism
almost took my life.
I was a little child ......
a child of God....one of His
little children who blossemed
later in life....who endured pain
and survived.....who believes
today the I have a purpose
in life and that I am worthy.
The past is filled with a wealth
of knowledge to help us find
out who we truely are.
From birth....we were born
innocent little ones.....and
with what we learned from
those around us with what
they had.....we emerged
into the persons we became
and what we are becoming
today....
I have a purpose in life today....
to help the next person achieving
sobriety by sharing my own
experiences strengths and hope
with them.
Thanks for letting me share.
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