BengalsFan

Just wanted to say hello to everyone; I'm almost done with day 4. I've been lurking since last weds night when i was trying to squeeze those last few beers in before i had to go to bed, and decided that it had to stop. I've only told one good friend how bad it has actually gotten, so just reading has been a huge help for me.

I'm an early bottomer, only 23 years old. No real consequences yet (with the exception of some weight gain that drives me nuts). Held a good job for 3 years, no family problems really, no DUI or any law issues. From the outside everything looked great, have everything under control. My dad is an alcoholic but has been sober since I was 7 I believe, so I knew all the family history, etc but figured I've got things under control; beer will be no problem. I still haven't figured out how to have that conversation with my parents even though I'm sure they suspect.

I hit 21 and could buy freely and it turned out I was a "natural". I took very quickly to drinking every night after work either out with a couple friends or alone at home. I didn't matter to me. It didn't take long for me to hit a 6pack a night and more on the weekends. The past year has been 6-10 beers every night after work, depending on what time I get home. Then 12-18 normally on Saturday and Sunday. I'd generally start drinking about 9-10am if I didn't have anything else planned that day then sleep it off mid afternoon before having a few more in the evening.

I called it quits last week when I realized that I was spending almost every day at work from noon on planning out if I had anything to do that day after work. And if I did how could I do it most efficiently so I could get home and crack open the first beer sooner. There were also a few lunches recently of heading home for a couple followed by Listerine to try and cover up the smell.

Great community you all have going here, it really has helped. And I feel a little better after typing all that out. It feels more real now.

SF69

Welcome BengalsFan! Hope you don't hold it against me that I'm a Steeler fan.


Congrats on Day 4

Longsleeves

Great Post and congratulations. I'm 24 and have a similar story. I totally understand what you mean by "everything looks fine from the outside". I feel like it's easier to hide behind being young and being around a crowd that binge drinks. I too hold down a job, am currently in a respected law school, and have a long distance g/f that I have for the most part been able to hide the depth of my drinking from. The longest I've gone without drinking at one time in the past 4 years is probably a week and a half. Almost the same schedule as you, get out of work/school start drinking with friends or by myself. I would even joke about it, my "phase" I would call it; drink whiskey for a week or two, then switch to vodka, rum or bottles of wine. It seemed normal and even socially acceptable. I know my Dad was an alcoholic and stopped when I was 12 or so.

This morning is the first time I realized that I might have a problem and to actually make an effort to not drink. My first step is to avoid situations where I would have an excuse to drink (so I'm staying late in the library during the week, I'm not "going out" with friends this Thursday and Friday, I'm skipping a party Saturday night, and I'm watching the Super Bowl from home). If I can honestly make it through this weekend, I'll know i'm in the right direction.

anyways, thanks for the post. Nice to know you're out there in a similar spot.

Negative Man

Hi Bengals and Longsleeves... I appreciated what you wrote, especially about "planning the day." I got to the point where I'd look at my daily planner and think, "How can I push everything to the morning and early afternoon and get home as soon as possible." To drink of course. I would be annoyed if a friend invited me to dinner or a movie.

Keep posting. I'm on day 22. This site has helped me tremendously.

vashti45

I too was a "can't wait to go home and drink" kind of drinker. (Although sometimes I also drank at work, at 5:00, when you few/no people were around). It's a struggle, definitely. I'm on Day 9, and had one of my rougher days in terms of temptation. We were supposed to go skiing, and got all the kids and gear (skis, snowboards, boots, gloves, ski masks, hats, coats, snowpants, passes, cooler for lunch/snacks--it's major expedition. Then my husband left to take my son to his snowboarding class, while I picked up my oldest daughter from gymnastics, drove 70 miles to Alpine Meadows where we ski, and the conditions were so bad we just turned around and went home. The winds were at 65+ mph at the summit; it was snowing; almost all of the lifts were closed due to the wind. Major disappointment for me.

My critical program to avoid relapse (and before I quit, to keep from deteriorating totally) is to exercise. If I don't exercise, my depression and anxiety seem to blow up incredibly, and my coping "medication" is drinking.

I wish you both the best--

Jana

Goodnfast

Hi and welcome!

I was a Browns fan growing up so I guess we've got most of the confererence covered

My father drank one beer a week watching football with me on Sunday afternoons, so I don't think I got the bug from him. My younger brother, however, weighs about 140 and can down a 12-pack in two hours.

Good going on finding SR...I just came across them last night and they are a wonderful bunch of people. I seriously doubt there's anything you are going through or will go through that hasn't been experienced by many of the people here. Advice flows freely.

Hang in there!

CarolD

BengalsFan and Longsleeves....
Glad you posted

Welcome to SR!

indigo

Welcome to SR it rocks.