Hi. I'm new here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
Hi. I'm new here.
I just joined the forum yesterday and I hope that I can find the support I need. I have been to AA’s website and I read the steps, I am not sure that it is the program for me. As an atheist, the higher power thing doesn’t hold water. I have been to the secular boards, but haven’t posted yet (it seems like there are a lot of missing posts?????).
I started drinking heavily when I turned 21- at that time it was usually just weekend partying. It has gotten progressively worse since then- now I drink almost every day. At 31 years old and I wonder what damage I have done to my body and mind. I have come to the conclusion that I am an alcoholic, but nobody around me seems to notice. My husband says that I don’t have a real problem and that I should “just stop” (which I find hard to believe – his father was an alcoholic). I live in a state where binge drinking is normal and alcohol is served at every event – even children’s birthday parties (but only to the adults of course – lol). So I have to wonder how I can possibly cope in this environment?
I have never gotten a DUI or been arrested, but I have done some things that I am ashamed of while intoxicated. So I wonder – can I stop now before I end up doing something really horrible? Or do I have to hit rock bottom?
I have a great life. My first marriage ended in divorce, but now I have a great husband, a great family. I just earned my Associates Degree in Horticulture. I just got my motorcycle license. So why am I so determined to ruin my life? I fear that if I continue on this path I will lose everything – and I will die – because I won’t be able to live with the shame.
What do I do? Where do I begin?
I welcome any advice.
Thanks!
~Diane
I started drinking heavily when I turned 21- at that time it was usually just weekend partying. It has gotten progressively worse since then- now I drink almost every day. At 31 years old and I wonder what damage I have done to my body and mind. I have come to the conclusion that I am an alcoholic, but nobody around me seems to notice. My husband says that I don’t have a real problem and that I should “just stop” (which I find hard to believe – his father was an alcoholic). I live in a state where binge drinking is normal and alcohol is served at every event – even children’s birthday parties (but only to the adults of course – lol). So I have to wonder how I can possibly cope in this environment?
I have never gotten a DUI or been arrested, but I have done some things that I am ashamed of while intoxicated. So I wonder – can I stop now before I end up doing something really horrible? Or do I have to hit rock bottom?
I have a great life. My first marriage ended in divorce, but now I have a great husband, a great family. I just earned my Associates Degree in Horticulture. I just got my motorcycle license. So why am I so determined to ruin my life? I fear that if I continue on this path I will lose everything – and I will die – because I won’t be able to live with the shame.
What do I do? Where do I begin?
I welcome any advice.
Thanks!
~Diane
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
Diane, welcome to the family...
you just did.. you reached out...
thats huge!
and with AA, many atheist are in the fellowship...
check this out...
AA Big Book -- Chapter 4
good wishes Di!
xxoo
rz
What do I do? Where do I begin?
thats huge!
and with AA, many atheist are in the fellowship...
check this out...
AA Big Book -- Chapter 4
good wishes Di!
xxoo
rz
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Originally Posted by ferrette76 
I just joined the forum yesterday and I hope that I can find the support I need. I have been to AA’s website and I read the steps, I am not sure that it is the program for me. As an atheist, the higher power thing doesn’t hold water. I have been to the secular boards, but haven’t posted yet (it seems like there are a lot of missing posts?????).
I started drinking heavily when I turned 21- at that time it was usually just weekend partying. It has gotten progressively worse since then- now I drink almost every day. At 31 years old and I wonder what damage I have done to my body and mind. I have come to the conclusion that I am an alcoholic, but nobody around me seems to notice. My husband says that I don’t have a real problem and that I should “just stop” (which I find hard to believe – his father was an alcoholic). I live in a state where binge drinking is normal and alcohol is served at every event – even children’s birthday parties (but only to the adults of course – lol). So I have to wonder how I can possibly cope in this environment?
I have never gotten a DUI or been arrested, but I have done some things that I am ashamed of while intoxicated. So I wonder – can I stop now before I end up doing something really horrible? Or do I have to hit rock bottom?
I have a great life. My first marriage ended in divorce, but now I have a great husband, a great family. I just earned my Associates Degree in Horticulture. I just got my motorcycle license. So why am I so determined to ruin my life? I fear that if I continue on this path I will lose everything – and I will die – because I won’t be able to live with the shame.
What do I do? Where do I begin?
I welcome any advice.
Thanks!
~Diane
I started drinking heavily when I turned 21- at that time it was usually just weekend partying. It has gotten progressively worse since then- now I drink almost every day. At 31 years old and I wonder what damage I have done to my body and mind. I have come to the conclusion that I am an alcoholic, but nobody around me seems to notice. My husband says that I don’t have a real problem and that I should “just stop” (which I find hard to believe – his father was an alcoholic). I live in a state where binge drinking is normal and alcohol is served at every event – even children’s birthday parties (but only to the adults of course – lol). So I have to wonder how I can possibly cope in this environment?
I have never gotten a DUI or been arrested, but I have done some things that I am ashamed of while intoxicated. So I wonder – can I stop now before I end up doing something really horrible? Or do I have to hit rock bottom?
I have a great life. My first marriage ended in divorce, but now I have a great husband, a great family. I just earned my Associates Degree in Horticulture. I just got my motorcycle license. So why am I so determined to ruin my life? I fear that if I continue on this path I will lose everything – and I will die – because I won’t be able to live with the shame.
What do I do? Where do I begin?
I welcome any advice.
Thanks!
~Diane
I am 31, have been drinking really heavily since I was about 15 (it got progressively worse up until I was drinking over 30 units of alcohol/day before I stopped)...
I too don't really think the steps are for me, I don't believe in a HP in the traditional sense either (I believe in outer space and the universe and science and stuff
), so I decided to go it alone too...I do have a great support network in my immediate family and understanding friends who try to encourage me and are aware of my alcoholism...
I have been sober for over 3 months now which is the longest time in my life since starting drinking...
My advice to you Diane would be to see your doc first of all, they will be able to figure out the best way to come off the drink; that's what I did and it was the best thing I ever done, I got prescribed tablets (Librium) to help me cope with side effects of withdrawal...
Your body is tougher than you think, honestly - see your doc and get some tests done to find out where you are at, I was scared to go because I thought I was dying, turns out I wasn't and you're probably not as damaged as you might think you are - your doc will be able to tell you for sure...
And keep posting here too, it's a great place for encouragement!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan -- Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by ferrette76
I just joined the forum yesterday and I hope that I can find the support I need. I have been to AA’s website and I read the steps, I am not sure that it is the program for me. As an atheist, the higher power thing doesn’t hold water. I have been to the secular boards, but haven’t posted yet (it seems like there are a lot of missing posts?????).
I really think you've found a fablulous place... Keep coming back, posting, listening... The support, energy, advice and love you will find here is amazing...
Just a thought... As far as AA, I realize there are plenty of people that find it's "not for them"... and this isn't about that...
Just consider that your Higher Power doesn't have to be a religious figure... God, Ghandi or Buddah or Alla.... I've listened to several people that quote their "Higher Power" being the "people around the tables" (an AA meeting) or the people "on SR" (this board)...
Just consider that there is "something" out there that has more power than you summon alone... Draw on the collective powers of those that love you, those that support you, ... I even heard one guy tell that "for the longest time, his DOG was his higher power"... in an much-needed "Unconditional Love" reference...
Anyhow, don't let the HP reference keep you from "getting your feet wet" or "trying it"... You may still find it's not for you, as many do, but you just may, as well, find something to Hold Onto... ??
Whatever you decide, there are ALWAYS other options...
Best of Luck... HuGGGGGGGGs and Keep coming back...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
Originally Posted by theonlyway
... I even heard one guy tell that "for the longest time, his DOG was his higher power"... in an much-needed "Unconditional Love" reference...
Maybe that's what will work for me! I've always believed that in many ways animals are better than us, more pure, less hypocritical.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad you found us...
Welcome to SR!
I too stongly suggest an honest talk with your doctor
before stopping abruptly.
Please check the top sticky post in our Alcoholism Forum
for info and our personal experiences on withdrawal.
On the 3rd sticky ....you can find a list of recovery programs
to consider.
You too can find a way to live sober!
Welcome to SR!
I too stongly suggest an honest talk with your doctor
before stopping abruptly.
Please check the top sticky post in our Alcoholism Forum
for info and our personal experiences on withdrawal.
On the 3rd sticky ....you can find a list of recovery programs
to consider.
You too can find a way to live sober!
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Welcome from me too, Diane!
No, you don't have to hit 'rock bottom' to quit. Just the desire to quit. For me, while I don't think I hit a rock bottom, I want to quit because I can see that rock bottom approaching fast if I continue drinking.
I can understand your feelings regarding AA (I consider myself an agnostic). I'd still suggest checking out a meeting. I was pleasantly surprised after attending my first one. It really wasn't anything like I had built up in my head.
And as the others mentioned, stick around here. It's been a great help for me.
No, you don't have to hit 'rock bottom' to quit. Just the desire to quit. For me, while I don't think I hit a rock bottom, I want to quit because I can see that rock bottom approaching fast if I continue drinking.
I can understand your feelings regarding AA (I consider myself an agnostic). I'd still suggest checking out a meeting. I was pleasantly surprised after attending my first one. It really wasn't anything like I had built up in my head.
And as the others mentioned, stick around here. It's been a great help for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: arkansas
Posts: 15
when i read your post, it felt right to post for the first time. ive been reading posts all day trying to find a place to land. i joined this afternoon. im nervous and scared. have wanted to quit drinking for yrs and hey, this is a step in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: arkansas
Posts: 15
thanks for the welcomes everyone. i really want this time to work. ive tried quiting before, only to say, o i dont have a problem. last week i think i drank two bottles a wine each night. yesterday i said, its enough....one bonus to where i live, is that, i have to drive to the county line to get wine.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 488
Welcome Diane and Patti! SR is a great start. There is someone here ALWAYS and you'll be amazed at how many people have similar situations to your own, even though you think NO ONE can know what you feel.
Even just posting your feelings here helps.
I don't like AA, so I use this forum for my support. My favorite place during my first week was the 2 week and under thread. Now I am at day 21, but I still visit there to see who will be joining the 3 month and unders.
I'm glad the two of you have joined us.
PS: I love your doggy pictures!
Even just posting your feelings here helps.
I don't like AA, so I use this forum for my support. My favorite place during my first week was the 2 week and under thread. Now I am at day 21, but I still visit there to see who will be joining the 3 month and unders.
I'm glad the two of you have joined us.
PS: I love your doggy pictures!
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