Luckyv2

My name is Vic and I am an addict/alkie/co-dependent whatever...LOL I get addicted to anything that I touch.

I just want everyone here and I need to remind myself of this also, that we don't have to test our recovery!

We don't have to do things that we did, or go the places that we used to go. In recovery we are starting a new journey. A journey that is a lot different than we have ever experienced.

I am only saying this to let you all know that you don't have to go down the road that I have gone. It has been a awful road but yet in the same aspect I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Most everyone here knows me pretty darn well, but for those of you who are new and there is a lot because this is SR!!!

20 months ago today I woke up completely degraded, desperate, hopeless, helpless, and one might even go to say homeless.

I relapsed on Valentines Day of 2006. Yes the same lesson just another year LOL I was with a date, had a good time, went to dinner, came to the apartment to watch some movies (yeah right) and ended up high.

Let's back up one month before. I wanted to get high, called someone in a town that I was new in and asked if they had anything. NOPE they wouldn't get me anything if I asked they said. About 3am they showed up at my door saying well they could get me what I wanted now. I gave them the money and they were back in no time flat with 1/4 ounce of crack. I gave them there share and sit there and watched them get high.

They said are you not going to get high. I said no. Here I am sitting with all of this crack which me a meth head didn't know what to do with it anyways but I watch carefully.

Fast forward next day.

So they were all screwed up and I gave them a ride, gave them a little more dope and than went back to my apartment where I put my share up. I kept going to meetings and really pretty much forgot about it until that Valentines night.

Yeah although I really didn't even believe that I was setting myself up I did.

So on that night, we were talking about calling someone a month ago for dope. What a thing we were both trying to score dope a month ago on the same date. I scored never got high and she didn't score and didn't get high. I told her that I still had dope and she said BS.

I got it and showed it too her and she said LET"S GO!!! I go where? she said to get a tire gage I said for what? LMAO she said to make a pipe.

I kept telling her all the way that I wasn't going to get high.

OK so we get back I am sitting there watching her and she goes your making me nervous, I said well shoot I can go in the other room and she goes no it isn't that but would ya get high with me.

I sat there probably 10 minutes and than I said give it here.

So here it is...

I had already relapsed 1 month and probably a lot longer than that before I got high. why ? I don't know. But the point is that we must protect our recovery with everything that we have.

Today I still don't hang out with any of my old friends, or even some people that are in the program. I need to guard this gift and it is a gift. So If you can please learn from me than you won't have to struggle like I have had to in order to just put together a few 24's together back to back. Blessings always.

theonlyway

ok...... summoning the *?????* to walk to the kitchen and dump that Malbec.....

SIGH-- brb......

theonlyway

um mmmm...... maybe ot yet........

i have this feeling that if i go open (to pour) ...... something else might happen...

and since everyone else in the house is asleep... i think i'll leave it there for now...

keep talkin'

Luckyv2

BTW I forgot it was 20 Months today that I woke up and realized that I had to follow the directions that those before me followed. So if we just do listen to others we too can have what they have. Got to go work have a good night SR!!!! WHOOO HOOOO 20 months today! Never thought I would make it a day again in my life.

Gmoney

An amazing and horrifying story, Vic. I don't know how you went a whole month with drugs in the house and you didn't use. I would've thought about it every second. Yes..I agree that you had already relapsed before you even used it, but I couldn't have done it. The only reason I ever bought dope was to use it...not save it. When I got clean, I also cleaned my house from top to bottom. It was so weird finding all those hiding places full of empty bags and paraphernalia. I knew that if I didn't clean house (and keep it clean) I'd eventually use again.

Congrats on your 20 months!! WTG!!!

citychick

20 months Vic, good one!! Thanks for the songs...

CarolD

Powerful share Vic.....Thanks!


Congratulations!

:

barb dwyer

Garry - what UP with that avatar?????

Vic -
no way could I have gone any amount of time not using if it was right there - period.

Hat's off to ya - and CONGRATS on your sober time!!!

scaredykat

Thanks for sharing Vic. I think i emotionally relapsed during the holidays before I started drinking again on New Years Eve. Today is day 8 for me the time you read this and I'm so glad i finally told my sponsor today.

Congrats on your 20 months!!!!:ghug3

Barb

Gmoney

Extreme, huh? I found it when I was sick last week and it really fit how I was feeling. Besides that...I thought it was funny (in a weird kinda way). I'm gonna change it. LOL!!!

barb dwyer

Is *was funny .. but yeah - in tha tsick kind of way - LOL

didn't mean to make ya think you had to change it - but then again - maybe I *did* ...

while I fourth step that motivation - thanks for changing it - LOLOLOL

Maybe it wouldn't have bugged me so much if it'd been RED instead of BLACK .. LOLOL

Anna

You have a great story Vic, and you are a great inspiration!

Benker

Congrats

Luckyv2

Couldn't have done it without all of you! All we have is the now and today to work with Congrats to everyone who has stayed sober/clean up to this point.