ter4154880

Hi, I am happy to see a place I can go to and just be able to read , or talk any time of the day or night to people going threw the same journey in life. Not that I dont have freinds in my aa groups that I know are just a phone call away, but I can relate to some who said they have relapsed and I get that feeling of being ashamed and feeling like I dont belong. I know that is just my negative thinking and it will pass but for now that is alittle how I feel. I have been sober sence Jan 1 now, I havent been going to as many meetings as I know I should be. I have a bad tendency to isolate and I know thats how I just sit in all that ugliness and start thinking to much and it builds up till I decide Ive had enough and I want to escape these feelings. The good thing I guess is Im recognizing this, now its time to start changing the behaviors. I also have realized I just dont want to stop drinking, I want to feel happy and live life. It aint just putting down the drink, theres so much more involved that will bring me back to that drink. I am very co-dependent, I have alot of built up anger, and on & on & on, I guess thats why they say "one day at a time". I want to feel better now and I realize thats not reality, theres a mountian of things I need to work on and thats why I say its a journey. Finding out who I really am and being who I want to be and feeling real happiness is going to be a journey and a hard one at times, but I know it will be worth it. Im sick of hurting, Im sick of hurting my family. I spent 24 yrs hurting, its time to spend the next 20 or more healing and happy. Nice to meet you all!

C2H5OH_Free

Welcome! You will find a lot of support here.

Get to some meetings, and get yourself a sponsor and start working the steps. This is how you will learn to let go of all the negative crap that will cause you grief.

Good Luck.

mtnmagic

Hi Ter and welcome. I originally joined this board in December 2006. I have used it as silent support, daily reading but not responding almost every day since then. Once in awhile, I have reached out in a post or two, only to draw back and then relapse. I really don't want to relapse anymore. I have 13 days. This board has been such a help to me. I hope you stay and post.
My goal is to put myself out there more. I hope to learn more about you.

CarolD

I think of AA meetings and Step work as
classes on living sober with joy.

The more I go...the quicker I learn.

Welcome to SR!

nogard

hi Ter welcome to SR

lostmdboy

Welcome! Eventuallt meeting for me meant going to see my friends. Keep going back, and just listen. More shall be revieled.

Rowan

Welcome

Stick around - it gets better, honest.

ter4154880

Thanks to all of you who wrote. Today is 30 days and besides the terrible sinus cold i have, I feel good. There is alot of things going on in my life right now that have me so angry and I just try to beleive that I dont have the power to fix these things right now and god is walking beside me helping me all the way and things happen everyday if I open my eyes that show me it is going to be ok, If I were drinking I would probably have been thrown in jail by now. This problem involves my children and as a mother I feel like I could do things to protect them that the law would not understand. Its out of my hands and I need to be strong for them and be a positive role model so they feel safe and Im here to help them in any and every way possible. This is only my second time writing , maybe I should be in blogs, if so Im sorry. Not real sure as to how to use this site yet, I am happy I found it and am looking forward to making some new freinds.

Rowan

Well done on your 30 days!! I'm so glad you are still here and posting.
You are welcome to start a blog, but you are just fine here. You can update this thread, reply to others, or start a new one.
Keep coming back.