coming_clean

relapsed for three evenings in a row. Managed to stay sober during the day. Feel like **** right now, low selfasteem, depressed.

day one....

CarolD

How many meetings have you attended?
AA is how I have found long term sobriety.
Depression is why I began the program.

coming_clean

So far none, There aint AA around where I live.

CarolD

Gosh! no meetings available?
That's something I have not experienced.

I have used on line meetings before my vision
made that impossible to see Chat functions.
They were an interesting addition to F2F.

I do hope you can find a way to quit.
Sobriety is a cool way to live.

coming_clean

To add: I know about online meetings, but my internet is down at home, and it will be a few weeks before it's fixed so...

Till then I can come here during working hours.

isn't AA for alcoholics only?

Impurrfect

AA also works very well for addicts. When I first got into recovery, opiates were my problem. I did go to a few NA meetings, but there were far more AA meetings available. I never specified what substance I had a problem with when I shared....it was more about what I was feeling and I could say "I don't want to pick up". Different substances, same problems. I met some wonderful people at AA and they were very helpful.

If you relapsed, that means you had some clean time before, right? I'm sorry I'm not familiar with your story. What did you do the last time to get clean? I relapsed 10 months ago after more than a year clean (I'd moved from opiates to crack along the way). I had to figure out what led to my relapse and change things so it doesn't happen again. I can see, now, that I had never accepted that I can't use again. This time I've accepted it and don't see getting high as an option anymore.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

coming_clean

i've had some clean time yeah. The last few months i'm about three to four days sober, then the real cravings kick in and I relapse again.

I'm gonna check for AA meetings in my area once more.

vashti45

There are few AA meetings where I live (in the mountains), and that's one of the reasons I haven't made it to one. It can be difficult in a snowstorm when the roads are closed. But there can be other support, and I urge you to seek it out. Contact a local psychotherapist. Even if starting therapy is not an option, that person should know of support groups for substance abusers. Do you have any non-abusing friends who can be your strength when you are feeling too weak to resist using? Is in-patient treatment an option? Have you tried spiritual sources of support--churches, temples, meditation groups? I think we all have to find our own path to sobriety, but we need a guide. Someone we can talk to face to face.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Jana

bonsai12

I just put in (Netherlands and AA) in the one of my search engines and it gave me all kinds of meetings based on location, have you tried that?

Sobriety isnt easy, infact sometimes it doesnt feel very good at all but it feels much better than pulling my head out of a toilet every other day. I wish you well on your search.

coming_clean

sweet,

I will give this a go..