parentrecovers

scaredy! hugs to you, and a great BIG welcome back!

:ghug3

Rowan

Support going out to you Barb, and a great big HUG!

scaredykat

Hi guys, I'm on day 3 today. I'm not having a great day at all. Trying not to dwell on my bad day. I can't afford to where I'm just starting out again. I'm getting my lunch in a few minutes then I'm going to relax and read my big book.

I didn't sleep good again last night, but that's to be expected. I went thought this last time when i was detoxing. But my appetite is good and I'm drinking lots of water. I forgot to mention that the past couple of days. I did that the last time too. I drink a lot of water through out the day and that helps a lot. I also take a lot of vitamins so my only problem detoxing is the sleeping. But i know it won't last long.

I hope my other cat Kitty-Sue isn't a diabetic. She peed on a stool next to the computer this morning. She never done that before. That's one of the signs of diabetes in cats. We can't afford another one to be sick. It's $80 a month for Tammy's insulin not counting all the Dr. visits until her diabetes is under control.

Yes missymae that's my Tammy. She's my oldest. She just turned 15 yrs. old.

Talk to you guys later.

Barb

scaredykat

Hi guys, I didn't get a chance to write on my thread all day. Been busy with other things and other threads. I just finished day 4 sober. It's getting better again. I woke up today feeling good and ready to work on myself. I still have a hard time falling to sleep at night, but its getting better everyday.

I went to my meeting tonight. This group hasn't seen me since Christmas. so i was a little nervous going, but i went and nothing bad happen. Sometimes I'm such a wimp about things. Oh, and tonight's topic was on "sleep". How ironic is that.

well till tomorrow
Barb

PaperDolls

(((barb)))

I'm glad you're back.

I'm a wimp too and ....... sleep, I'd love to go to a meeting where the topic is sleep. I could use it!

scaredykat

Our topic was Chapter 12 "Getting plenty of rest" in the Living Sober book.

PaperDolls

the Living Sober book ......... can I see that online like the Big Book?

Rowan

HCI-Online Books - Living Sober

Hey Jen you can read an excerpt here - and yes it's a great book.

vashti45

Barb -- Congratulations on making it through Day 4. On to mutual Day 5--

I have always had trouble sleeping (lifelong), so I actually hadn't noticed much difference until last night. Last night I went to bed early (9:30), as usual, and I woke up at 2:00am. Not unusual for me, but ordinarily I'd not be able to go back to sleep for at least a couple of hours. This time I looked at the clock, yawned, and rolled over and went back to sleep until 4:30. And I feel reasonably rested.

Right now I'm procrastinating on taking the dogs for their walk, as its only 16 degrees. Brrrr.

Impurrfect

(((Barb))))

Here's to day 5 I'm proud of you!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

scaredykat

Hi Guys, Today is day 5 for me. I work on some step work today and then read my living sober book. I got a whine about Tammy but I'll put it on the whiners thread so i don't keep repeating myself.

PD- Here's a link I found on Google late last night. You can read all of the chapters, but they do leave some out in each chapter. Some is better then nothing i guess.

Alcoholics Anonymous - Living Sober

Barb

stone

Youre doing great Barb!

tennis71

Good for you - I recently relapsed and it was tough to go into my 1st home meeting but the courage you show by going should be well received!

scaredykat

Hi Guys, today is day 7. I made it through my first week. I'm very nervous today. tonight is our local speaker meeting. It's a really big meeting. We have at least 50 people there every week, sometimes more. the reason why I'm so nervous is that there's a lot of old timers that go to that meeting.

Some of them have over 40 years of sobriety. Some of these people really scare me and make me feel really intimidated. My sponsor will be there too. She has 29 years of sobriety and still doesn't know that i relapsed and came back a week ago.

i guess i should call her this afternoon after my lunch and get that over with. I'm nervous about that too. I'm just a nervous Nelly today. It's really stupid, but i can't help it. I sometimes feel like some of these old timers judge you. Some of them won't even talk to me, even when i had my 100 days. So i don't know whats up with that. I know if I'm ever lucky enough to have years of sobriety, I won't be like that to newcomers. At least I hope I'm not.

Barb

stone

I am kinda ambivalenent about AA too Barb. They are there are and they are convenient.

However many years of sobriety that they have doesnt make them clever.

AA is about getting spiritual. That is all. And it works. You can get spiritual without AA tho.

Rowan

Barb,

I hope you follow through and call your sponsor before the meeting tonight. Try not to put these oldtimers up on a pedestal, we are all the same distance away from the next drink. They are no better and no less than you and I. If some of them didn't talk to you, I'm sure that didn't have anything to do with their amount of sobriety versus your own. Take what you need, and leave the rest, truly.
I hope you have a great experience at tonight's meeting, and that you come back and tell us about it.
I'm pulling for you!

scaredykat

Thanks Stone and rowan. I be back to tell you about it. Maybe sooner. it's only lunchtime and the meeting isn't until 8:00 tonight.

I think some of those old timers feel like their on a pedestal though. LOL Oh, and I'll call my sponsor. She's at work now, but i can leave a message for her to call me back during her break.

Well, talk to you guys later. Gotta go fry some potatoes for my lunch. :yum:

Barb

Impurrfect

(((Barb))))

Way to go on one week!!!!

Don't worry about anyone who puts themself on a pedestal...in AA or not. If anyone thinks they're "all that" or better than others (for whatever reason), they are living in a dreamworld.

As far as I'm concerned, no one has a right to look down on anyone else. We all put our pants on the same way....one leg at a time.

If those oldtimers don't talk to you, THEY are missing out

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

scaredykat

Hi guys, Good news.:bounce I finally told my sponsor about my relapse. I was so nervous and shaking when i talk to her on the phone. I was all nervous over nothing. She was so happy that i called for one thing. She said she was worried about me. She told me basically the same stuff you guys have said. About where it doesn't matter how long you've been sober, everyone is only one drink away from a drunk. She told me not to worry about it, and that the main thing is I'm back and trying again.

I was also worried about my meeting tonight and that ended up being a good meeting. One of the women gave me a hug as soon as i walked in the door. She was worried and wondered what happened to me too. So i was a ninny for nothing. I have to learn not to listen to my stupid brain. That's when i get into trouble and start in on my stinking thinking about everything.

Barb

Impurrfect

(((Barb)))

So glad you talked to your sponsor and the meeting was great. I'm guilty of getting worked up about stuff that isn't half as bad as I predict, too. I'm just really proud that you worked past your fears and worries, and did what you needed to do!!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy