on my way to court
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
on my way to court
Im on my way to court I feel like im gonna pass out I am so stressed.
I hope to back later today.
If not ill be back when I get out of the big house
Take care
I hope to back later today.
If not ill be back when I get out of the big house
Take care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I really do have to accept the things I cant change. I get way to stuck on worrryinh.
At court they terminated me fromt the program I was in and so, this offence will be on my records and I have to go back to court, but not until May.
The judge told me he will probably suspend my sentence, but he said that being unaware of my priors. For some reason that hasnt hit his desh yet.
Prior to going to sentencing they end you to a pre sentence interview, and Im sure they will ask about ather arrests. Im already panicking about this and its probably more than 4 weeks away. The court day 4 months away and Im already worrying . I really need to relax. Im worrying now about what the judge may or may not do, what a waste of time.
A probably bigger waste of time is me sitting here with a rum and coke at my side. oh well Its been months since I had a drink. Dotn know exactly how many days. I used to keep track, but I never made it that long so I thought this time If I wasnt constantly looking at the time it would go faster.
Not sure why I bought the booze, went in for cigarettes and the bottle just seemed to be calling my name, and Ive been feeling like I can never fix this mess i refer to as my life so I said what the hell.
Every night I promise mysel tommarrow I will go to a meeting. I know that i have to try nothing else works for aany length of tiime. Been Talking to one of my old crack buddies so I already see where thats going if I dont get a little get up and go and dont give up attitude going.
If there was something productive I was good at as good as I am at screwing up I would be really successful.
At court they terminated me fromt the program I was in and so, this offence will be on my records and I have to go back to court, but not until May.
The judge told me he will probably suspend my sentence, but he said that being unaware of my priors. For some reason that hasnt hit his desh yet.
Prior to going to sentencing they end you to a pre sentence interview, and Im sure they will ask about ather arrests. Im already panicking about this and its probably more than 4 weeks away. The court day 4 months away and Im already worrying . I really need to relax. Im worrying now about what the judge may or may not do, what a waste of time.
A probably bigger waste of time is me sitting here with a rum and coke at my side. oh well Its been months since I had a drink. Dotn know exactly how many days. I used to keep track, but I never made it that long so I thought this time If I wasnt constantly looking at the time it would go faster.
Not sure why I bought the booze, went in for cigarettes and the bottle just seemed to be calling my name, and Ive been feeling like I can never fix this mess i refer to as my life so I said what the hell.
Every night I promise mysel tommarrow I will go to a meeting. I know that i have to try nothing else works for aany length of tiime. Been Talking to one of my old crack buddies so I already see where thats going if I dont get a little get up and go and dont give up attitude going.
If there was something productive I was good at as good as I am at screwing up I would be really successful.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Beth, I hope things work out for you with the court system.
Right now, it's up to you to make the right choices, regardless of what will happen with the courts. Drinking and talking to crack buddies is going to cause you more problems, not fix anything. But, you know that.
I wish you well.
Right now, it's up to you to make the right choices, regardless of what will happen with the courts. Drinking and talking to crack buddies is going to cause you more problems, not fix anything. But, you know that.
I wish you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I ktotally know that, but I was just really feeling like having a drink I suppose, cause unfortunately im really enjoying it at the moment. i kow the crack is a no no, but just a few drinks I dont know I just really wanted them. Normally im afraid to drink cause im afraid it will lead to something else, but im someplace that I cant get any drugs and I got it in my head that this would be a safe place to drink.
really dunmb way of looking at it, but I guess I love to make excuses for myself.
Tommarrow when I wake up with a hangover maybe ill remember why I shouldnt drink.
Started off as ill only have one, but as fellow addicts you probaly know where thats been going.
really dunmb way of looking at it, but I guess I love to make excuses for myself.
Tommarrow when I wake up with a hangover maybe ill remember why I shouldnt drink.
Started off as ill only have one, but as fellow addicts you probaly know where thats been going.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by Change4life 
I ktotally know that, but I was just really feeling like having a drink I suppose, cause unfortunately im really enjoying it at the moment. i kow the crack is a no no, but just a few drinks I dont know I just really wanted them. Normally im afraid to drink cause im afraid it will lead to something else, but im someplace that I cant get any drugs and I got it in my head that this would be a safe place to drink.
really dunmb way of looking at it, but I guess I love to make excuses for myself.
Tommarrow when I wake up with a hangover maybe ill remember why I shouldnt drink.
Started off as ill only have one, but as fellow addicts you probaly know where thats been going.
really dunmb way of looking at it, but I guess I love to make excuses for myself.
Tommarrow when I wake up with a hangover maybe ill remember why I shouldnt drink.
Started off as ill only have one, but as fellow addicts you probaly know where thats been going.
I nedd to not take any drugs including Alcohol as it takes me back to the same places, self loathing, anger, fear confusion, chaos and drama.
Stop now and get on with recovery.
In the end it makes no difference what a judge says or thinks, nor freinds nor family, its down to what we think of ourselves and how we treat ouselves and therefore others. Be good to you.
Kevin
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by Change4life
This court crap seems like it will never go away. Ive been in and out since 2005.
How about some leep Change
The violin will still be there when you wake up if you want it.Kevin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I THINK I JUST DONT LIKE MYSELF VERY MUCH
Thats probably why I never do what would be needed to help myself. Deep down I dont want to feel better. Im guessing I like to punish to myself.
For what im not sure, but I definetly see the pattern clearly. I am never good to myself dont know why.
My biggest critc and my worst enemy is me.
how do I fix that?
Thats probably why I never do what would be needed to help myself. Deep down I dont want to feel better. Im guessing I like to punish to myself.
For what im not sure, but I definetly see the pattern clearly. I am never good to myself dont know why.
My biggest critc and my worst enemy is me.
how do I fix that?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
I know how stressful going to court can be. Been if front of a judge a few times myself. But when I was ready to stop the drinking I did it. A plus is that I have not had to go in a court room after I stopped drinking. ye ha
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
