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Old 01-18-2008, 11:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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obsessive thinking

I attend AA and have a sponser...and I have been told not to worry so much about the debt I have incured, losing my job, the things I have done or have a relationship, yet I seem to keep thinking about all of that stuff. Almost to the point that I have now began to turn it into depression. Is there key ideas to work the this thinking problem. Is it normal to have such extreme compulsions in early sobrity?

The debt keeps piling up, the job front is dismile and I have a relationship with someone that already pre-existed (She is also in soberity yet has had a much more difficult time with staying that way than I and it has been on and off since. The lying stresses me out but now she is trying and I find it hard not to question what is going on still. Makes for poor arguments.)

I will begin to get those wheels turning in my head and it seems that I won't let a thought go until it consumes me. Then to the next thought and soon the day is gone. I have tried to visualize getting rid of it, tried to think of other things and tried to make myself busy. Not much luck.
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Old 01-18-2008, 12:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I understand the obsessive thought patterns that you are talking about. When I first stopped drinking I was consumed by negative obsessive thoughts. Eventually, someone here recommended journalling to me. Try writing down your thoughts when they come into your mind. For me, it helped me to let go of them. Another thing I learned was, if you stop the thought quickly when it enters your mind, you can prevent from 'taking over' your thinking. I tried to be vigilant about that.

Do what you can each day about the job situation and other parts of your life and then try to let go of those issues.

You might find help if you read around here and you might check out our Anxiety Disorders forum.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 01-18-2008, 02:10 PM   #3 (permalink)

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I'd try writing them down as well. For me when I have thoughts spinning in my head, they seem huge. When I can put them on paper and look at them, they seem less severe. It seems to also help to get them "out" of my head so they stop spinning through my brain uncontrollably.
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Old 01-18-2008, 02:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I sometimes become convinced that my employers are plotting to sack me and become quite obsessed about it; all the facts seem to point to this. I sort of learn to live with it and tell myself that if it happens then at least I can get another job. It can really wear you down. I don't know but maybe the doctors have a magic pill to stop it.
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Old 01-18-2008, 07:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Anna's suggestion about the anxiety forum is a good one. What also helped me in early sobriety and even at times today is journaling. I have never been much for writing things down but it definately takes some of the power out of the feelings and thoughts when they are written down. It helps to calm my head down and stop or slow the spinning. Just remember, this too shall pass.
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Old 01-18-2008, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thoughts like the ones you're talking about just spin around in my head. The only way I've found to lessen them is to get them out into the world, either by journaling as people have suggested, or by simply talking with someone about it.

Saying something like "I'm really mad at _______, and I can't understand why I was treated this way. It's not fair"... to a sponsor, friend, or sibling, is a great way of simply 'airing those feelings out' and getting them into the sunlight.

Don't keep them bottled up inside of you. Thanks for the post. I know where you're coming from.
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Old 01-18-2008, 10:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I found a job by telling my AA friends I needed one.
As it was out of my field...I did OJT and kept it until
I re located 6 years later.

I also journaled my thoughts and used a God Can.
I wrote down the point I was worried about
prayed and put it in a can for God to deal with.

Are you aware of PAWS?

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Hope this helps....Well Done on your sober time!
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
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Old 01-18-2008, 11:32 PM   #8 (permalink)
same planet...different world
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My gut reaction to your post was ... (of COURSE, ffrom 'left field') but -

That's the disease.
That's how it gets us drinking.

It plays on our capacity to TRUST ...
refusing to let us SEE that we've always been 'watched out for' ...
I mean, who but an alcoholic/or an addict can GET into the scrapes WE get into and survive? 'God surely loves a drunk" - you know that saying?
Who OTHER than a 'protected' one?

It's the disease.
Eating away.
Getting it's hold.
That is how it does it.

And you get to the point you think - the only way I can shut this voice up is to have a drink.
My friend -
I'm telling you ...
drinking - has never solved a problem in your life.
or using. Or whatever your choice of slow poison is.

I don't know you, I don't know your story, and for this -
I don't need to. Because it's what we share. Because I already know.

Drinking ... using ... CAUSED all these problems.

Call your sponsor.
Ask .. about the third step.
And if you've done it -
ask again.

It's all about the trust in a Power Greater than Ourselves.
"Relieve me of the bondage of self."

*prayers for your peace of mind*
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
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