Finally feel better.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Finally feel better.
I dont know. I was really struggling there the past week. Not drug wise. But with my mental and emotional state.
I think I was feeling messed up because I had to leave treatment. Then I dont have a truck to look for a job or even go grocery shopping. I felt like a loser. Then I was just sitting around feeling like a waste of space. Totally useless. That wears on your mind and attitude alot.
But yeaterday I sold my truck for scrap metal. That truck has been my biggest partner in crime. I was sad to see it go. But at the same time glad to see all the bad memories go with it. Out with the old. In with the new.
I got a FT job right up the street from me today. I start tomorrow. So I guess I need to just slow it down and stay in the moment. I get too ahead of myself and want to be productive so bad that I expect it to happen at the drop of a hat.
I know this year is going to be so much better.
Oh..I am going to start collecting beach scenery art.
I think I was feeling messed up because I had to leave treatment. Then I dont have a truck to look for a job or even go grocery shopping. I felt like a loser. Then I was just sitting around feeling like a waste of space. Totally useless. That wears on your mind and attitude alot.
But yeaterday I sold my truck for scrap metal. That truck has been my biggest partner in crime. I was sad to see it go. But at the same time glad to see all the bad memories go with it. Out with the old. In with the new.
I got a FT job right up the street from me today. I start tomorrow. So I guess I need to just slow it down and stay in the moment. I get too ahead of myself and want to be productive so bad that I expect it to happen at the drop of a hat.
I know this year is going to be so much better.
Oh..I am going to start collecting beach scenery art.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Let go of the past....
That sounds like what you have been doing & then all of a sudden things happen that are hard to believe! Selling your truck & then finding a full-time job close to home is a miracle...so close to your mood of despair. 
It fits the slogan...Let Go & Let God....if that is your belief...I had simular things happen to me & it just couldn't be coincidence.
It got better for me when I stopped trying to make things happen. The Serenity Prayer helped me with that.
I was a chronic pessimist & then when I learned how to work the Serenity Prayer...I got better at being more selective about what I could and couldn't do...& let go of the things I couldn't change by myself or ever. :bounce:
I had a complicated enough life getting and staying sober without added burdens that I couldn't do anything about.
It felt so good to say to myself.."I don't have to worry about that anymore." I said the prayer more times in my car driving down the road...it was and is the most helpful meditation for me today. :ghug2
kelsh
It fits the slogan...Let Go & Let God....if that is your belief...I had simular things happen to me & it just couldn't be coincidence.
It got better for me when I stopped trying to make things happen. The Serenity Prayer helped me with that.
I was a chronic pessimist & then when I learned how to work the Serenity Prayer...I got better at being more selective about what I could and couldn't do...& let go of the things I couldn't change by myself or ever. :bounce:
I had a complicated enough life getting and staying sober without added burdens that I couldn't do anything about.
It felt so good to say to myself.."I don't have to worry about that anymore." I said the prayer more times in my car driving down the road...it was and is the most helpful meditation for me today. :ghug2
kelsh
8. 
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chiy)))
Great news about the job, and I'm glad you're feeling better. You've made really good progress already...keep it up! I think getting rid of the truck was a good thing...some memories we don't need to keep around.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Great news about the job, and I'm glad you're feeling better. You've made really good progress already...keep it up! I think getting rid of the truck was a good thing...some memories we don't need to keep around.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Well the job started off not good. Couldnt get on their website for training. Spent 2 hours trying to figure out why. So start again tomorrow.
Come to find out that the mgr is the newspaper guy's girlfriend at the old job I have a court case with.
I really hope people didnt run their mouths to everybody about what happened.
That would not be good.
Oh well. I am to the point like My name is Earl. Just do what I am suppose to and let karma handle the rest.
If it meant to be then it will happen. Me trying to control situations out of my control is just going to make me back slide.
Thanks for all the responses.
Yea that truck had to go. Me and that truck have been tearing it up since 2003. From Florida to here.
I believe things happen for a reason. The things I put that truck through. It never let me down til right before christmas. I dont think if it died I would have gone to treatment. It cut off my way to get drugs. And now I am stuck in the country. Which a good thing for now. I need to be stuck home for awhile.
Anyway..Thanks again.
Come to find out that the mgr is the newspaper guy's girlfriend at the old job I have a court case with.
I really hope people didnt run their mouths to everybody about what happened.
That would not be good.
Oh well. I am to the point like My name is Earl. Just do what I am suppose to and let karma handle the rest.
If it meant to be then it will happen. Me trying to control situations out of my control is just going to make me back slide.
Thanks for all the responses.
Yea that truck had to go. Me and that truck have been tearing it up since 2003. From Florida to here.
I believe things happen for a reason. The things I put that truck through. It never let me down til right before christmas. I dont think if it died I would have gone to treatment. It cut off my way to get drugs. And now I am stuck in the country. Which a good thing for now. I need to be stuck home for awhile.
Anyway..Thanks again.
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