Mr H

1/ I don't dread mornings, the tide of fear and paranoia as you awake to the fact that you have to go about your day slightly at an angle with the inability to deal with problems or even generally deal with people.

2/ Not to have the long road ahead of me feeling, being hungover or still drunk and realising that you've slipped back into your old ways and that inorder to get back on the wagon you have some sleepless nights and some aggressive withdrawl symptoms ahead of you.

3/ Problems don't mount as much, being drunk alot of issues get swept under the carpet along with the main problem of the actual drinking. Being sober means you actually identify problems as they occur and confrontation or addmittance to loved ones need not be a tangled web of white lies and half truths.

4/ Able to see the lighter side of life and enjoy it sober rather than misinterperet what is really serious and miss opportunaties

5/ Days are single events, non of this starting the night on friday and ending months later in a heap of failed direct debits, a messed up house, and an empty bank account

6/ The future is no longer just a lower rung on a ladder down into a very dark hole

7/ You start to see the good in other people, but at the same time you can spot idiots easier or the people who would drag you down and offer no real friendship.

These are just a few of how I feel at the moment.

I had a drink (first in a while) last week and luckily the next day I got on with my life and didn't re-enter the cycle, I'm not fooling myself, it was probably 30% will power not to completly slip and 70% luck but maybe that percentage is swinging higher in my favour as time goes on.
I was, am and will be an alchoholic, it's part of who I am, but I get the feeling that I'm starting to control the condition more and more and allow it to control me less.

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS N GIRLS

Paul AKA Mr H xx

Anna

Good post, Mr. H

Have a great day!

Rusty Zipper

thats a nice gratitude list Mr H...

good wishes...

Mr Z

lostmdboy

Not waking up hung over, dreading the results of what I did the night before while in a black out is huge for me.

Mr H

yup i hear that, the dreaded phone calls to who you might have been out with last night

Lauriejess

# 1 is huge for me! I so hate that feeling of just wanting to pull the covers over my head and not face the day. On the other hand, sober I bound out of bed ready to take on my entire day without a problem. Sober is so much better!!

bud349

I envy you guys! I'm very glad that you made it though. I can't wait to be at that point. I'm just 10 days in, 8 from the pain killers. Even though I'm having a little chronic pain and headaches, strangely I feel better about my life then before.

nodrinkingzone

That's a good list. I agree with every single one of them... for me, it's been much the same:

1. Enjoy waking up, feel great - want to eat yummy food, full of energy, look forward to the day.

2. Look heaps better/healthier. I want to take care of myself now. It's like I have got self-esteem back that I didn't know was missing.

3. Less paranoid - nothing to hide means nothing to fear.

4. Less embarrassed - I find that I am less worried about what other people think of me, probably related to number 3 above - less fear.

5. Finding myself again, underneath all the layers of poison and false personality, getting wicked sense of humour back.

6. Enjoying people more, remembering more (although I still have foggy days), and finding myself smiling a lot.

7. Having loads more money, buying myself treats like books, haircut, shorts, good food, juice etc... still having money left each new payday (has NEVER happened before! it's awesome!)

8. Self-respect - starting to feel like an adult, there has definitely been a huge change in me, respect myself and others more.




Yeah, I could get used to this... I reckon my drinking is over for good. I know it's early to be confident, but there's so much of the world to explore and I'm starting to realise that I have that choice - go diving, kayaking, hiking, traveling, and a million other things I want to do or... keep drinking and hating life... hmmmm...


It's not a hard choice to make at this point. Thanks for this thread, makes me feel even better, hope everyone finds the opportunity (even in the first couple of days) to start to enjoy being sober, it makes all the difference.

Mr H

Thats a good one! Self esteem is brushed under the carpet when drinking so often

indigo

It's good to see you back and doing well Mr.H

Mr H

Thanks, doing ok at the moment, with my four crutches - My son, my wife, Coke Zero and the Complete Sopranos Boxset :rof

barb dwyer

good to seeya H!!!!

lostmdboy

I used to go to work, and wait to see if the wife would IM me. If she would I know I was too bad the night before, but if there was not chatter from her my mind would becin to race. What did I do???? That is just no way to live. Bud you are doing great!! Just one day at a time, and things get better. Some times slowly, some times quickly.

Mr H

Hey Barb!

Thanks lostmdboy, i know exactly where you are coming from, i used to roll over and try to start a conversation with my wife to test the water first think in a morning, your correct that aint living