Struggling with Resistance to Attending Meetings
There was a time when I used to dread AA meetings. I wasn't good with people, I had social anxiety's, it seemed like everyone knew each other. So slowly but surely I stopped going. First it dropped from a meeting every day to 5 a week, then 3, then I was going 2 weeks at a crack without hitting a meeting.
Then I got drunk and like the old timers said "I got enough pain" to be willing to go to any lengths.
So I went back, and it still wasn't easy. But I kept going back, like they say to do, and I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I started looking forward to going to meetings. It wasn't a chore, my people were there and that's where I went to see them. Now I look forward to it. When I see that guy standing off to the side in the parking lot, not talking to anyone, trying not to be noticed I go and say hello. Because I know what it was like to be him.
Now you probably have your own reasons, like the sunshiney unicorny people. It almost sounded like a resentment.
In my experience, one of the main reasons I resent people is because I'm jealous, because they have something that I find lacking in myself that I consider to be a fundamental flaw in me as a person.
Have you done your 4th/5th step? Might help here, it did with me.
Again that's my experience.
Try becoming part of the group. Pick a home group, one you feel comfortable at that sticks to the solution and take a service commitment there. Then when you've finished that commitment take on another.
Try to get people your age to go out for coffee or a bite to eat before/after the meeting.
Show up a half hour early and leave a half hour after the meeting is over.
This is what worked for me.
Then I got drunk and like the old timers said "I got enough pain" to be willing to go to any lengths.
So I went back, and it still wasn't easy. But I kept going back, like they say to do, and I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I started looking forward to going to meetings. It wasn't a chore, my people were there and that's where I went to see them. Now I look forward to it. When I see that guy standing off to the side in the parking lot, not talking to anyone, trying not to be noticed I go and say hello. Because I know what it was like to be him.
Now you probably have your own reasons, like the sunshiney unicorny people. It almost sounded like a resentment.
In my experience, one of the main reasons I resent people is because I'm jealous, because they have something that I find lacking in myself that I consider to be a fundamental flaw in me as a person.
Have you done your 4th/5th step? Might help here, it did with me.
Again that's my experience.
Try becoming part of the group. Pick a home group, one you feel comfortable at that sticks to the solution and take a service commitment there. Then when you've finished that commitment take on another.
Try to get people your age to go out for coffee or a bite to eat before/after the meeting.
Show up a half hour early and leave a half hour after the meeting is over.
This is what worked for me.
I have been happily sober since 2003, and have never attended any meetings, although I did go to see my friend get her 4 year cake last year.
If not going to meetings is keeping you drinking, then do whatever it takes, and go to meetings.
Do what works for you!
Seren
If not going to meetings is keeping you drinking, then do whatever it takes, and go to meetings.
Do what works for you!
Seren
Last edited by lovingseren; 02-26-2008 at 04:17 PM.
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