Did something other than AA work for you?
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: www.ericwhitfieldart.com
Posts: 114
Originally Posted by dgillz 
You should probably post this in the secular forum.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I think I am one of the biggest 12-step cheerleaders here - but I didn't use AA to get sober. The method of sobriety modeled for me in my family of origin (you know, the one with all the drunks!) is... just quitting.
So when Mr. Big decided we should quit back in 1983, I agreed. And thankfully, I was at a point in my condition that I COULD 'just quit'. I had not lost my home, job, car or friends... only my dignity, self-respect and many, many opportunities.
TWENTY years later - I found AA and Alanon. Because, like Best says, booze was only part of my problem. The other parts of my problems were -
Not good enough
Feeling a hole in the middle
The need to control
Looking good on the outside and ugly on the inside
More is not enough
All of these things lead to poor choices in friends, relationships, and work. I was trying desperately to control every aspect of my life... and doing a danged poor job of it.
12-step helped me to undertstand that my gambling, my overeating, my over exercising, my over working and my misuse of painkillers were all symptoms of the same condition of alcoholism/addiction.
It has been by working the steps, getting a sponsor, and attending TONS of meetings that I have finally started to feel good. The best I've felt in a long time.
Do I believe that 12-step is the "only way"? Hell no! What I believe is that much of what is packaged up in a good 12-step program are just common sense solutions to our common problems.
First - get rid of the substance and clear our minds...
Then all the rest are about selflessness and kindness. About how to deal with others in a reasonable manner. How to sacrifice selfishness without sacrificing self.
All of these things can and are learned through books, counseling, groups and life in general. Many in MY family have maintained sobriety AND managed to improve their lives - but the difference that I see is that it has taken longer than those who actively work a 12-step program.
There are many ways to a better life - it just happens that 12-step works very well for me, and because of that, I tend to get a little "rah-rah" about it.
So when Mr. Big decided we should quit back in 1983, I agreed. And thankfully, I was at a point in my condition that I COULD 'just quit'. I had not lost my home, job, car or friends... only my dignity, self-respect and many, many opportunities.
TWENTY years later - I found AA and Alanon. Because, like Best says, booze was only part of my problem. The other parts of my problems were -
Not good enough
Feeling a hole in the middle
The need to control
Looking good on the outside and ugly on the inside
More is not enough
All of these things lead to poor choices in friends, relationships, and work. I was trying desperately to control every aspect of my life... and doing a danged poor job of it.
12-step helped me to undertstand that my gambling, my overeating, my over exercising, my over working and my misuse of painkillers were all symptoms of the same condition of alcoholism/addiction.
It has been by working the steps, getting a sponsor, and attending TONS of meetings that I have finally started to feel good. The best I've felt in a long time.
Do I believe that 12-step is the "only way"? Hell no! What I believe is that much of what is packaged up in a good 12-step program are just common sense solutions to our common problems.
First - get rid of the substance and clear our minds...
Then all the rest are about selflessness and kindness. About how to deal with others in a reasonable manner. How to sacrifice selfishness without sacrificing self.
All of these things can and are learned through books, counseling, groups and life in general. Many in MY family have maintained sobriety AND managed to improve their lives - but the difference that I see is that it has taken longer than those who actively work a 12-step program.
There are many ways to a better life - it just happens that 12-step works very well for me, and because of that, I tend to get a little "rah-rah" about it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
nothing works for me.
I work for my sobriety.
so, whatever I am 100% committed to reaps positive results that i can measure. I spent 9 years not drinking and living eastern philosophy practices to grow spiritually.
today i still dont drink, live the spiritual principles of the ancient traditions and i also attend aa. sorry for answering the question as an aa member, but my answer is unequivocably supportive of ANY and ALL paths in sobriety, as long as you don't put undue expectations on the path to save you. YOU have to walk the path and not drink.
I work for my sobriety.
so, whatever I am 100% committed to reaps positive results that i can measure. I spent 9 years not drinking and living eastern philosophy practices to grow spiritually.
today i still dont drink, live the spiritual principles of the ancient traditions and i also attend aa. sorry for answering the question as an aa member, but my answer is unequivocably supportive of ANY and ALL paths in sobriety, as long as you don't put undue expectations on the path to save you. YOU have to walk the path and not drink.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 79
I really looked into RR and found that it made more sense to me than the 12 steps.
I went to AA and was sober for about 7 months in the program. I worked the program, I was not happy and I was pretty much pretending to be a part of the group. After having a terrible experience with some of the people (I couldn't just say to myself "some people are sicker than others") I left the group. I understand that AA works for some people and I am happy for them. Some of the people that I knew in the program were truely happy and they had found their "calling". I am excited for them becuase they found something that they are passionate about and that is an extremely important part of life
Now I accept the fact that I did not have a spiritaul sickness but that I had a drinking problem...those are two different things in my mind. (although I do find some of the tools that I learned in AA useful!!) I have almost 6 weeks using RR and the AVRT program. It is very nice to know that I am in controll of my drinking, I drank because I chose too....this is my belief.
Anyway, reading alot also helped!! I read pretty much anything I can get my hands on.
Hope my opinion helps someone...Glad this thread was started!!
I went to AA and was sober for about 7 months in the program. I worked the program, I was not happy and I was pretty much pretending to be a part of the group. After having a terrible experience with some of the people (I couldn't just say to myself "some people are sicker than others") I left the group. I understand that AA works for some people and I am happy for them. Some of the people that I knew in the program were truely happy and they had found their "calling". I am excited for them becuase they found something that they are passionate about and that is an extremely important part of life
Now I accept the fact that I did not have a spiritaul sickness but that I had a drinking problem...those are two different things in my mind. (although I do find some of the tools that I learned in AA useful!!) I have almost 6 weeks using RR and the AVRT program. It is very nice to know that I am in controll of my drinking, I drank because I chose too....this is my belief.
Anyway, reading alot also helped!! I read pretty much anything I can get my hands on.
Hope my opinion helps someone...Glad this thread was started!!
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