tryntolive

be social? talk to others?
Its been so long that i have had been in a social situation w/o my "water" bottle hid in the bathroom that I dont know how to hold a conversation without the buzz on. I never get over the top drunk, just that warm relaxed buzz. Now this is with any situation, family, friends,, people I love, they are not strangers, but I feel like I am so much more interactive with a couple of gulps in my system. this will be another challenge for me. Looking forward to your advice!

Sugah

Give yourself permission to be a little more quiet, and I think you'll find yourself adapting and having authentic interactions with others.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Anna

Sugah is right.

I accept that I am 'less than comfortable' in some social situations and that's okay. I'm not really good with small talk. This is a big part of recovery, accepting who you are. For me, it meant accepting that I'm not a really social person and that's okay. It's better than using alcohol to make myself into something that I'm not. Recovery means honesty with yourself and with those around you.

1963comet

Yes, I thought the same thing in the beginning. But give it some time. I like myself better sober. Everything you like about yourself is still there, and you will find you don't need to be messed up for it to show.

Hope this helps

LauraSFO1

Ditto to all of the above. I've also realized that in many situations where I have to make small talk, most of the other people are drinking, so I'm sure they don't even notice my discomfort!

User_Name

My sponsor keeps telling me that I was not "the real me" when I was drunk/drinking. I am constantly being reminded to be myself, and not worry about what other people think. I have struggled with this a lot, I have started to realize he is right, I need to be "me" and have people accept me for me.

It's rough, I know what you are saying, social situations are tough when I'm sober but I guess I need to go through it.

CarolD

Before and after most AA meetings
there is generally a lot of conversation.

To practice interaction ...go early and say
"Hi I am new"

JMO

barb dwyer

I understand.

Even us extroverts ... get there. And when I first sobered up - oh, man.

I was socially ... useless.
LOL

Even now - I'll get the occasional - 'gottagobuhbye' thing.
Just get all uncomfortable, what people are talking about is stupid, and if i gon't get outa there I'm gonna start screaming or something.

I honor it.
And I go.

But it was HARD at first.

There's good GOOD advice on here,
one other thing I do - is I set an amount of time to be there.

Ok I give it an hour then I'm 'outie'.
Often - it's quite a while before I notice I'm not freaking.

It gets better.
We have to teach ourselves all over again.

StayinAlive

confidence comes with sobriety. I couldn't even look at someone in the eye without a drink a short time ago. Now i smiling and interacting with people in public. I find it empowering and my insecurities are melting. Its so great to be free. Thanks to the help of other recovered alcoholics/addicts who know and understand and for the tools they have given me. You will get there girl. Soon you will go from tryntolive to livinlarge

I need to change my user name from StayinAlive to ItsGoodToBeAlive

mikel60

Hi tryintolive,
I'm still uncomfortable with a lot of small talk and stuff like that. Even now when I go to meetings I bring a magazine or book for the break times because I'm just not a social butterfly. I'm good with that, now - usually.
One thing I do sometimes, though, is wear a Yankees shirt or hat to the meetings. I live in Boston. That usually gets some conversation going.
Mike

Jersey Nonny

I've always been a bit of an extrovert...the alcohol only caused me to be even more uninhibited (often to do things I wish I hadn't). I didn't need to "get out of myself"...if anything, I needed to "reel it in" a bit when I quit drinking...learn to sit back and listen at AA meetings...try not to raise my hand too readily when volunteers were asked for. Eventually, I found a balance within the rooms of AA...and, it's helping me to "fit in" at this nursing home, too. I don't always have to be the center of attention...and it's a tremendous relief to just be one of the crowd of Indians, instead of the "too many Chiefs"!.