...My Mother...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1
...My Mother...
Hello. You guys can call me Krys.
I was googling up some forums on alcoholism, and ended up finding this one. To keep it short, I'm going to be
addressing an issue that doesn't involve my soberiety; rather, it's a person of my family that I'm concerned about.
She is my mother, 50 years old. I'm 17. She has a problem with alcoholism, that needs to be dealt with. Let me start a
little earlier.
Back in... January of '04, there was a problem with her that involved major bleeding and required an emergency DNC and
blood transfusion. When they finished with her, she was severely depressed, has hormone issues, and was diagnosed with
Hepatitus C not much later. We suspected that they gave her bad blood, since she was never diagnosed with Hepatitus C
in her life, nor was my dad.
Before all that, she was a smoker and a drinker, with no real noticable problems... After that, she cold turkey'd
everything. No smoking. No drinking. Fresh squeezed lemon juice and fruits and oatmeal in the morning, a good hearty
meal in the evening. She slowly started to heal, even though she lost tons of weight.
After about a year or so, we visited my grandparents house in California. One night there, she drank about 5 glasses or
more of wine, and she was in a real tizzy. I didn't think too much of it then. But later, she began drinking like half
a glass or more of wine a night... And then it started getting out of hand, so she stopped. For a while..
Now, right around '06 or beginning of '07, she started again, only this time she did it behind our backs. Around the
middle of this year, she did it so severely one night that I didn't know WHAT the hell was wrong with her. She was
trying to do her paper work for her job working on the phone, and her writing was horrible. She got up, went to the
bathroom, and next thing you know, we hear a huge crashing THUMP. She fell backward into the tub, which in turn was so
hard that it knocked the family pictures off the wall; thank God she didn't break her stupid neck... Soon, we began to
figure out that she was completely intoxicated from half an 80 proof bottle of peppermint Schnopps... That first time
we had her daughter, now 33, my aunt, and my cousin's wife with her kid over our house consoling her on her mistake.
She scared us to death.
She was guilt-ridden and horribly depressed and felt she had betrayed both my father and me. So, she promised she
wouldn't do it again after being sober and finding out what she did.
Low and behold, not even a week after a visit from my grandparents during Thanksgiving this year, she drank again. This
time she had a WHOLE bottle of 40 proof Schnopps, and she ended up falling into the corner of the room where the
exercise machine is. She..was screwed up...
So, my dad promised her that if she didn't straighten up and if she did it AGAIN, she'd be gone from the house in
somewhere else so we wouldnt have to worry about her killing herself.
Now, it's come to this. She and I went out to get my haircut today... She dropped me off so she could go get a curling
iron for herself. 20 minutes pass. I'm done with my hair, so I try to call her cell to see if she is done yet so she
can come get me from the hair salon. 45 minutes altogether later, she comes to the store, and she's really glazed over
in the eyes. She comes through the door, writes the check for my haircut really sloppy-like, can't even find her own ID
in her purse, and we leave. When we got out to the car, she was ready to go, but I knew it wasn't right. So I asked her
to drive to the dollar store within the parking lot, to prove to myself that she was drunk. Sure enough, she crossed
the yellow line more than twice, almost hit a couple of people, and haphazardly parked in front of the Office Depot.
I took her keys and cell phone away, her not even noticing much. And I tell her to stay put. I called my dad from his
job, and said he'd be at that parking lot in 15-20 minutes. So I go inside the Office Depot with her keys and cell, and
wait. He got there, and we ate at Home Town Buffet to try to get her some food, but she was so sick-like that she
didn't have an appetite. So we ended up leaving after wasting a 40 dollar gift card for Home Town. My dad had me drive
the car home with my mom, since I have my permit, and he drove the truck behind me since I might have trouble, he
wanted to watch me.
Now, my parents are both in bed, my dad is angry, sad, frustrated, and near-exploding... He doesn't deserve this. I
don't deserve this. He feels like a volcano and I feel like a rag doll. I don't know what to do... We've been so
worried about her all the time leaving the house alone, afraid she might go get drunk. Now look; she goes away for just
a bit WHILE I'M GETTING MY FRIGGEN HAIR CUT, and she gets drunk... What...the hell...
I don't know what else I can say.. She was alcoholic to the point she did this before too, but she quit. Then she was
just a casual drinker, drinking at night at home... Now... It's... just... man. I don't know...
....What a great friggen new year's eve...
(PS...sorry for the way the lines are arranged, I typed this in notepad and forgot that it would screw up when I copy pasted it...)
I was googling up some forums on alcoholism, and ended up finding this one. To keep it short, I'm going to be
addressing an issue that doesn't involve my soberiety; rather, it's a person of my family that I'm concerned about.
She is my mother, 50 years old. I'm 17. She has a problem with alcoholism, that needs to be dealt with. Let me start a
little earlier.
Back in... January of '04, there was a problem with her that involved major bleeding and required an emergency DNC and
blood transfusion. When they finished with her, she was severely depressed, has hormone issues, and was diagnosed with
Hepatitus C not much later. We suspected that they gave her bad blood, since she was never diagnosed with Hepatitus C
in her life, nor was my dad.
Before all that, she was a smoker and a drinker, with no real noticable problems... After that, she cold turkey'd
everything. No smoking. No drinking. Fresh squeezed lemon juice and fruits and oatmeal in the morning, a good hearty
meal in the evening. She slowly started to heal, even though she lost tons of weight.
After about a year or so, we visited my grandparents house in California. One night there, she drank about 5 glasses or
more of wine, and she was in a real tizzy. I didn't think too much of it then. But later, she began drinking like half
a glass or more of wine a night... And then it started getting out of hand, so she stopped. For a while..
Now, right around '06 or beginning of '07, she started again, only this time she did it behind our backs. Around the
middle of this year, she did it so severely one night that I didn't know WHAT the hell was wrong with her. She was
trying to do her paper work for her job working on the phone, and her writing was horrible. She got up, went to the
bathroom, and next thing you know, we hear a huge crashing THUMP. She fell backward into the tub, which in turn was so
hard that it knocked the family pictures off the wall; thank God she didn't break her stupid neck... Soon, we began to
figure out that she was completely intoxicated from half an 80 proof bottle of peppermint Schnopps... That first time
we had her daughter, now 33, my aunt, and my cousin's wife with her kid over our house consoling her on her mistake.
She scared us to death.
She was guilt-ridden and horribly depressed and felt she had betrayed both my father and me. So, she promised she
wouldn't do it again after being sober and finding out what she did.
Low and behold, not even a week after a visit from my grandparents during Thanksgiving this year, she drank again. This
time she had a WHOLE bottle of 40 proof Schnopps, and she ended up falling into the corner of the room where the
exercise machine is. She..was screwed up...
So, my dad promised her that if she didn't straighten up and if she did it AGAIN, she'd be gone from the house in
somewhere else so we wouldnt have to worry about her killing herself.
Now, it's come to this. She and I went out to get my haircut today... She dropped me off so she could go get a curling
iron for herself. 20 minutes pass. I'm done with my hair, so I try to call her cell to see if she is done yet so she
can come get me from the hair salon. 45 minutes altogether later, she comes to the store, and she's really glazed over
in the eyes. She comes through the door, writes the check for my haircut really sloppy-like, can't even find her own ID
in her purse, and we leave. When we got out to the car, she was ready to go, but I knew it wasn't right. So I asked her
to drive to the dollar store within the parking lot, to prove to myself that she was drunk. Sure enough, she crossed
the yellow line more than twice, almost hit a couple of people, and haphazardly parked in front of the Office Depot.
I took her keys and cell phone away, her not even noticing much. And I tell her to stay put. I called my dad from his
job, and said he'd be at that parking lot in 15-20 minutes. So I go inside the Office Depot with her keys and cell, and
wait. He got there, and we ate at Home Town Buffet to try to get her some food, but she was so sick-like that she
didn't have an appetite. So we ended up leaving after wasting a 40 dollar gift card for Home Town. My dad had me drive
the car home with my mom, since I have my permit, and he drove the truck behind me since I might have trouble, he
wanted to watch me.
Now, my parents are both in bed, my dad is angry, sad, frustrated, and near-exploding... He doesn't deserve this. I
don't deserve this. He feels like a volcano and I feel like a rag doll. I don't know what to do... We've been so
worried about her all the time leaving the house alone, afraid she might go get drunk. Now look; she goes away for just
a bit WHILE I'M GETTING MY FRIGGEN HAIR CUT, and she gets drunk... What...the hell...
I don't know what else I can say.. She was alcoholic to the point she did this before too, but she quit. Then she was
just a casual drinker, drinking at night at home... Now... It's... just... man. I don't know...
....What a great friggen new year's eve...
(PS...sorry for the way the lines are arranged, I typed this in notepad and forgot that it would screw up when I copy pasted it...)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Hi Krys and Welcome,
Your Mom is an alcoholic and that's why she is behaving the way she is. She can't control her drinking and can't be a casual drinker. It's not possible. Believe me, I've tried.
You need to take care of yourself and let your mother seek the help she needs. You can't fix her problems, but you can take care of your own.
Check out AlAnon, which is for families and friends of alcoholics.
Here is a Teen forum for friends and family:
Family Teens Message Board
Your Mom is an alcoholic and that's why she is behaving the way she is. She can't control her drinking and can't be a casual drinker. It's not possible. Believe me, I've tried.
You need to take care of yourself and let your mother seek the help she needs. You can't fix her problems, but you can take care of your own.
Check out AlAnon, which is for families and friends of alcoholics.
Here is a Teen forum for friends and family:
Family Teens Message Board
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Hi Krys, and welcome to SR.
You'll find a lot of people here who understand your situation. You and your dad will both find lots of support and understanding here on SR and also at Al Anon meetings: for people who are concerned about or bothered by someone else's drinking.
One of the first things I learned about was the three C's : I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. What I can do is learn about the disease of alcoholism and about setting healthy boundaries.
I hope your 2008 is better than 2007 was!
Hugs
Cats
You'll find a lot of people here who understand your situation. You and your dad will both find lots of support and understanding here on SR and also at Al Anon meetings: for people who are concerned about or bothered by someone else's drinking.
One of the first things I learned about was the three C's : I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. What I can do is learn about the disease of alcoholism and about setting healthy boundaries.
I hope your 2008 is better than 2007 was!
Hugs
Cats
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Krys,
You just brought me back about 24 years ago. I wish that you were here, I would give you a big hug.
Listen to the folks from F&F...they will give you some good guidance.
Big hugs,
Karen
You just brought me back about 24 years ago. I wish that you were here, I would give you a big hug.
Listen to the folks from F&F...they will give you some good guidance.
Big hugs,
Karen
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Hope everything works out for you, it sounds like there are going to be some tough times ahead 
but people can and do get through this and there is always hope, even if it seems like there is none; many people posting here are living testament to that...
You probably feel like you are stumbling alone in the dark but if you reach out for help and support you will find it here and the advice already given in this thread is a very good place to start...
Do you think your mum would ever post here? Maybe she would be annoyed if she thought you were checking out stuff like this, but if not maybe she could get some encouragement from us to help her get started? Just a thought...
Anyway, all the best and I hope everything works out for you and your mum and dad...
but people can and do get through this and there is always hope, even if it seems like there is none; many people posting here are living testament to that...You probably feel like you are stumbling alone in the dark but if you reach out for help and support you will find it here and the advice already given in this thread is a very good place to start...
Do you think your mum would ever post here? Maybe she would be annoyed if she thought you were checking out stuff like this, but if not maybe she could get some encouragement from us to help her get started? Just a thought...
Anyway, all the best and I hope everything works out for you and your mum and dad...
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