NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

"Is there anyone here, who quit and never ever went back?"

By the grace of God, I haven't had to relapse and I'm coming up on 11 months sober.

I agree with Carol, step work has greatly helped me by giving me the tools to avoid that relapse from ever happening.

Karen

awake121207

I have to post this. I want to share my opinion, but I mostly have to post this as a line drawn in the sand between alcohol and my recovery.

I have tried to quit and failed many times. However, using the support of this board I feel this is the only time I have actually been in recovery. Although I am not in AA, I am building a system of support and tools, and I am dedicated to being sober because I want it more than alcohol. I truly feel the voice that argues for it is an enemy within.

I believe I can do it without relapse. If I don't, it will be a choice not to use the tools at my disposal--it's not an inevitability.

Hevyn

Wow, and I was sure Pinkcuda was going to get all kinds of fallout!! Honestly, when I first heard the phrase "Relapse is part of recovery" it gave me "permission" to go ahead and relapse, which is exactly what I did. With my twisted way of thinking at the time, it was comforting to know I was doing what most everyone else had done....

Omega Man

Heyvn -you just summed up what I was trying to say. Hearing the "relapse" thing is just like getting permission, that's what I was struggling with.

I'm glad that so many of you walked away on your first attempt, that's what I needed to hear, that it can be done.

Day 13 for me today and no more self-doubt (at least for today), I will be sober today. Tomorrow is another day and I'm can't worry about that now. Today I'm sober .

awake121207

Very good to hear!

Dee74

I agree with Jon and Cuda here (shouldn't there be a parade or something ? LOL).

I'm not in AA, but I haven't relapsed yet and, as long as stay serious about this recovery stuff, as long as I stay quit, I won't.

All the good things I've gained this year are from not drinking. I'm not losing them.

Good luck OM!
D

NoelleR

Hey Omega Man --

You wrote:

1) "I know it's coming; relapse is part of recovery, right?"

2) " I know relapse should not automatically be part of recovery, but why do you hear it so much? I've heard it brought up in just about every meeting I've been to.
I haven't met a single person in AA yet that didn't relapse or at least have false starts..."

When I first read these, I wanted to jump right in.....but I waited, to see what the rest of the fine folks here had to say.

I think Pinkcuda had it right as to the why when they wrote: "...It's a lame excuse that some use to make themselves feel better about their conscious decision to drink."

When I first started on the road to redcovery I heard this silly line regarding relapses and I asked my sponsor if that meant that I was supposed to 'go back out' and come back in.....HAH, she smacked me on the head with a BB and said, "NO!!!"

Sooooo, as to "...I haven't met a single person in AA yet that didn't relapse or at least have false starts...Is there anyone here, who quit and never ever went back?..." I just wanted to add my name to 'no relapse' list of: nandm, Jfanagle, Pinkcuda, merlotmamma, and Dee74 (and the many more out there, not on this site).

Just remember the old saying: if you want long-term sobriety; don't pick up, and don't die........... (o:

Hang in there....


NoelleR
DOS: 6/23/86

lostmdboy

Hey Omega. Sounds like you are doing better. In my early days it helped me to tell my self every time a craving came on : I do not drink any more" Something about the decisiveness of it made me feel a little better, and hAY!! STAY AWAY FROM THOSE DAMM BARS!!!!! Go to a meeting, a walk any thing other then drinking.

Taking5

This is just IMHO, but there is a LOT of stuff you will hear repeatedly at AA meetings which has absolutely no basis in the big book. Here are a few more:

90 meetings in 90 days
No relationships for the first year
Burn your 4th step inventory when done with it
Inventory your good traits not just your bad ones

I could go on and on.

Now having said that, this does not mean there is no wisdom in any of the 4 things I mentioned above. However I guarantee you there is no wisdom in relapsing.

I highly recommend that you read Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers. This will give you a sense of history of how AA was started, and you can then compare that to the AA that is practiced in the rooms today. They are a lot different. Hopefully this will help you pick out the stuff you hear in the rooms that will work for you.

Good Luck.

PS-I used to live in Costa Mesa and there are thousands of meetings in OC. If you haven't done so already try several different meetings.

MamaOf2

Great thread Omega. I'm only on day 3, but I can see my thought-processes going that way. It's sounds like our paths/views are similar. Stay sober as my newbie role model, OK?

Omega Man

Day 17 - still here, still sober and feeling great.
I haven't had any meltdowns/ serious doubts since I started this thread. It's been great to go re-visit it and see where I was at last Friday.

Seems like it's getting easier as each day passes. The random thoughts of drinking are getting less frequent and when I do start to panic, I call someone from AA or start looking for the next meeting.

As someone stated, I just don't drink anymore; as long as I tell myself that, it really simplifies things.

Thanks for the feedback.

Dan Dare

The fact that I actually posted here intead of lurking tells me I am ready to make a serious effort to change my ways. I started a journal again after many years, and it helps a great deal to put your thoughts and feelings down where you can reference them.
For me, right now is the only time you can control, correct?

CarolD

Welcome Dan....

Journalling helped me immensley in early sobriety.
It was a daily way to gage my progress
and see what areas I needed to work on.

Glad you are here with us!

CarolD

Hi Omega....

Forward we go..side by side

Omega Man

Welcome Dan - and Yes to your question. Right now is all I have control over. It helps me to think like that. I don't worry about happy hour tonight, or not drinking at a party Saturday night. Right now, I'm not drinking and an hour from now, I'll tell myself the same thing, I don't drink anymore.

If your keeping a journal, try making a list of all your drinking "triggers" and avoid them like the plague.
I have my list and as you can see from my original post, Fridays/Happy Hour, is at the top of my list. I now have a regular AA meeting every Friday.

Stay Sober!

curliQ

Thanks Omega. I was hoping you were still doing ok.