Missymae737

I just got some news from the hospital and it is causing me great discomfort...

They found a mass that is dense...I have to go for further testing next week...I know, try not to stress about it, but it is hard NOT to think about it...I have been in the medical profession all my life...I know to much!!!

I called my sponsor...

I have come here...

I will get to a meeting...

I do feel like getting******up...I know that is not the answer...

Surlyredhead

You are right, using is NOT the answer. Whatever the outcome of your tests, using will only make things worse. If it is nothing to worry about, you will have wasted your sober time for nothing, if there is cause for concern, you will need to be healthy in mind and body to recover properly. Be strong, I am praying for you.....

Cathy

Emimily

if you think about it, the fact that you're healthy and sane enough to even care about yourself to get to the doctor is amazing.

fear of the unknown is, in my opinion, the worst one, but-it's still just fear. and fear is a phantom, a shadow, it's nothing. you get these great tools to banish that fear... what a gift. use 'em! ask god to take your fear for you, and then be willing to let go.

oh yeah, i know this sounds trite and tired, but go do something YOU like to do and don't stress about the future. you'll handle it, with grace and dignity and your buddies from the rooms and an HP that's got your back.

bugsworth

Hang on Missymae!!! You can do it, you are strong! Surlyredhead is spot on...

You know in your heart, if you pick up it will destroy you...you have all the tools and you are using them, stay strong! My prayers are with you.

RK2007

No point in going back to the stuff that has caused you all the grief you've been through, you'll be far worse off if you go back to it and back in your own personal form of hell!!!

You did the right thing to call somebody, stay as close to people who will discourage you from picking up again as you can!!!

You're tough, I can see that from your posts so I believe you can be strong today...

We're here for you, we're all in the same boat together!!! :ghug2

Lily

Missy Mae,

I am praying for you! you took all the correct steps this far. Glad you shared how were feeling and am glad you are taking safeguards to not pick up.

blessings, Sheila

Astro

There is absolutely no situation or anything in my life that a drink will improve.

Praying for you Missy, please keep us updated.

Dee74

Surly is right on missy....
nothing is worth falling over..especially worry, which at the moment is all this is....
that's where that annoying ODAAT thing comes in

((Missy))

D

Rella927

Missy as other have said it is not worth going back! You are a strong one I have seen it please breathe and take care of yourself-Calling Sponsor, meetings, coming here see your on the money honey!

Sending you healing thoughts and lots of prayers-

Missymae737

Thanks my friends..

I have been crying...You know why? The craving is so strong and I want to numb the pain I feel...

My sponsor is picking me up...

I need to be in a safe place...

I will be in touch later...

God, I am so afraid...

nogard

Missy,

Your so brave to come here and tell us about it and to keep working your program. One day at a time keep doing it and even though you know a great deal what actuallly happens the outcome can often be very different to our expectations.

Kevin

miss communicat

Missymae

everything will be alright,
No matter what.
No matter what.

You need to keep your energy healthy, strong and clear, especially right now.

((((Prayers going out for you to remain calm and strong now))))

stone

Hi Missy, I totally understand your reaction. We have been sober a similar amount of time and my mind jumps to getting wasted still if I get worried or stressed.

Getting wasted will make everything worse! You are probably fine, you know most lumps are benign, but if it is more serious you need your head together to cope.
I know you went through a lot of pain trying to get sober, but you DID IT! Don't go back to that, please.

nandm

Missymae, I know that it does not change anything but I want to let you know you are not alone.

I recently went through a very similar event. In fact posted about it under the womans forum. I to am a medical professional. Have been in the field for 20 years.

A mass was found and of course my head reviewed what it could mean. And of course my head did not go directly to this could be nothing serious it went directly to what if it has metastasized, what am I going to tell my family, do I have enough life insurance, will my health insurance cover this, I don't want to die right now.

Ultimately, it turns out it is some precancerous stuff but I am scheduled for surgery on the 15th to have it taken care of. All is well. It helped me to share with others here and listen to their experience strength and hope. No it did not change the outcome but it did help me through it.

Hang in their, keep posting, try and listen to the experience, strength, and hope of others and do let us know how it works out.

CarolD

(+) (+) (+)
Hugs and Prayers coming your way

awake121207

Missymae,

I just want you to know you are supported. Everyone else has said it all very well, I just want to weigh in with my support--you can get through this sober.

Wishing you strength and peace

Rowan

Marian I'm so glad you came here and shared, and that you called your sponsor.
Please check back in when you get home, and please PM me if you feel up to sharing one-on-one. I'll be around later on for sure.
Hugs and prayers coming your way.

Your sister in sobriety,
Lynn xo

Hevyn

Missy, imagine having to face this sick with a hangover. All the bad things in my life, I faced with alcohol in my system. It made me incapable of reacting properly or being strong & in control. Praying for you 'til we hear your happy ending to this story. Love, Joanie

mikel60

Hey Missymae,
I hope you are doing better. I've learned the hard way that there is nothing that can make us drink. Stay strong, because you are worth it! A few years ago my wife and I got the news that we were going to have a baby. We were ecstatic. At four months a doctor told us that things weren't going well. We were devastated, but hopeful. At 6 1/2 months our little girl was stillborn. We suffered through 4 more losses after that.

Midway through all of this my wife ws also discovered to have a dense fibrous mass near her shoulder. It was benign, thank God. The point of my post is that we got through it. Not only did we get through it, but my wife (my hero) demonstrated courage and strength that quite simply leaves me amazed. She persevered and believed that all would be well. Sure, there were many tears and many questions (why us?) but we got through. Today we have two wonderful kids and we are sober.

Hang tough, Missymae, from one Bay-Stater to another. You will get through and you will respect yourself and love yourself all the more for the strength we all know you will demonstrate. We'll say a prayer and hope to hear more from you.
Mike

gravity

You have my prayers, Missymae. Stay strong!