Back At It Again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 213
Back At It Again
Hey All- I don't know why , honestly, I feel the need to respond...but I do. Thank you all..........You know...I had a thought...I might die righteously indignant...I might die angry over what happened...I might not get sober behind a resentment....I may well be right...but you know what? Dead and drunk are the operative terms in all these scenarios...I need to let go of "being right"...or being the "victim"...or being the betrayed one and get real.....I'm either going to stop drinking for me and my life or not...bottom line. Its time for me to stop making excuses and start doing something...anything...Its my life...good,bad, or indifferent...its my life
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I posted this on your previous thread...but, it's just as pertinent here. Why not just keep this thread running from day to day, so we can all be aware of the progress you're making staying sober? No need to start a new thread each day, or when you reach a crisis in recovery.
What makes anyone think women have a lock on irresponsible, alcoholic behavior? And, just because someone is a "recovering alcoholic" doesn't mean he/she can't behave in an irresponsible manner...some are sicker...some are thicker...than others!
While we were still married, my ex left for another alcoholic. They both quit and joined AA. Two years later, I quit...and, darned if we didn't all go to the same meetings!
I started dating someone in AA, and he started sleeping with one of the gals I sponsored. Needless to say, I "fired" them both! And, guess what...we were all going to the same meetings. I used to cringe when I'd see them snuggling and holding hands like a couple of teenagers. But, I held my head high...and, I stayed sober!!! Sadly, I can't say the same for them.
The 12 Step Program of AA does not have flaws...but, many of the members of AA have trouble working this simple program. They are "constitutionally incapable of being honest...they are not at fault...they seem to have been born this way." Are you being honest, Rob? Are you trying to get sober, or are you trying to get even? Forget about your wife and him...the anger will only eat at you like a poison, and prevent you from getting/staying sober. That would be your greatest revenge...SOBRIETY!!!
Originally Posted by December15 
Hey Dude
You are blessed to be rid of this woman. Not only has she embarrased you in front of your group by taking with your sponsor but she is continuing to cuckold you by bringing your kids to meetings. She is hurting you and your kids. Believe me, I know women like this - as soon as you meet another woman, and you will, she will be right back on your doorstep begging to come back. Go to another meeting if you can or have to go to these meetings. Forget about this gal - bad news.
You are blessed to be rid of this woman. Not only has she embarrased you in front of your group by taking with your sponsor but she is continuing to cuckold you by bringing your kids to meetings. She is hurting you and your kids. Believe me, I know women like this - as soon as you meet another woman, and you will, she will be right back on your doorstep begging to come back. Go to another meeting if you can or have to go to these meetings. Forget about this gal - bad news.
While we were still married, my ex left for another alcoholic. They both quit and joined AA. Two years later, I quit...and, darned if we didn't all go to the same meetings!
I started dating someone in AA, and he started sleeping with one of the gals I sponsored. Needless to say, I "fired" them both! And, guess what...we were all going to the same meetings. I used to cringe when I'd see them snuggling and holding hands like a couple of teenagers. But, I held my head high...and, I stayed sober!!! Sadly, I can't say the same for them.
The 12 Step Program of AA does not have flaws...but, many of the members of AA have trouble working this simple program. They are "constitutionally incapable of being honest...they are not at fault...they seem to have been born this way." Are you being honest, Rob? Are you trying to get sober, or are you trying to get even? Forget about your wife and him...the anger will only eat at you like a poison, and prevent you from getting/staying sober. That would be your greatest revenge...SOBRIETY!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
I don’t really know if your for real, I don’t. So lets say you are for real you know I don’t ever remember being as hopeless as you. I was in prison bleeding from the waist down, busted ankle, cast up to my hip, wheelchair, burns all over my face, know one taking my calls, and facing five years for something I don’t remember doing but I cant quite remember talking and thinking the way you do. I mean you have all the answers to everything and it all sounds fantastic but I don’t see or hear anything that is changing.
See there is one thing that I knew back then, I knew that I was going to live like that for the rest of my life. I had one answer left and it was that I couldn’t live with alcohol and I couldn’t live without it and all I could think about was the end. The end came; I decided to stop taking my own temperature and start listening to others. I didn’t like AA, didn’t like what side of the fence it put me on. It was very uncomfortable for a while but I found that the new side of the fence didn’t have razor wire.
See there is one thing that I knew back then, I knew that I was going to live like that for the rest of my life. I had one answer left and it was that I couldn’t live with alcohol and I couldn’t live without it and all I could think about was the end. The end came; I decided to stop taking my own temperature and start listening to others. I didn’t like AA, didn’t like what side of the fence it put me on. It was very uncomfortable for a while but I found that the new side of the fence didn’t have razor wire.
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Originally Posted by Robzoloft
Hey All- I don't know why , honestly, I feel the need to respond...but I do. Thank you all..........You know...I had a thought...I might die righteously indignant...I might die angry over what happened...I might not get sober behind a resentment....I may well be right...but you know what? Dead and drunk are the operative terms in all these scenarios...I need to let go of "being right"...or being the "victim"...or being the betrayed one and get real.....I'm either going to stop drinking for me and my life or not...bottom line. Its time for me to stop making excuses and start doing something...anything...Its my life...good,bad, or indifferent...its my life
Never give up trying to stop drinking, you're fighting for your life here and the one thread you should be clinging to is that notion in your head that you need to stop and that you will stop, however unrealistic it may seem...
Your illness makes it seem impossible
, but it's not as many people have stopped and you can too... You deserve to have a quality of life and for you (and me, and countless others) drinking means not having any quality of life at all - you'll be a slave to drink until it drags you off to your grave...
I wish you all the best and the strength to stop once and for all...
We're routing for you...
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Its my life...good,bad, or indifferent...its my life
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Your experience in the program of AA has been unfortunate. I don't know how common it is as I have not had a similiar experience in the nearly 7 years I have been attending. I have experienced some negative things, ran across people whose personalities clashed with mine, angry and resentful people, people who were only there because the court said they had to be, seen marraiges and breakups of friends in AA, etc..... All that those things show me is that we are all human. Just because someone is able to put the drink down for a period of time does not mean they are well. Unless one changes the insides they are still the same person but worse because they don't have the alcohol to blame their nastiness on, they just blame it on others.
I am not going to try to convince anyone that the people in AA are perfect or healthy. What I do know is that there are many people who apply the steps and principles in their daily lives and they are healthy, happy, people. I choose not to spend a lot of time on those that are not willing to do what it takes to change their insides simply because I know that without that change the misery, ego, and resentment inside will ultimately take the person back out drinking.
I truely hope that you find a solution to your alcohol problem. I tried many things but until I was willing to go to any lengths to recover I was unable to maintain sobreity. Any lengths for me meant applying the principles and steps of AA in all aspects of my life. Take care.
I am not going to try to convince anyone that the people in AA are perfect or healthy. What I do know is that there are many people who apply the steps and principles in their daily lives and they are healthy, happy, people. I choose not to spend a lot of time on those that are not willing to do what it takes to change their insides simply because I know that without that change the misery, ego, and resentment inside will ultimately take the person back out drinking.
I truely hope that you find a solution to your alcohol problem. I tried many things but until I was willing to go to any lengths to recover I was unable to maintain sobreity. Any lengths for me meant applying the principles and steps of AA in all aspects of my life. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Rob,
I have been exactly where you are atm. I am just glad that i did not find SR while I was still drinking, or I would have been posting away , just as you are. I rang people instead ! OMG! and visited chat rooms and got banned
I totally understand your thoughts atm, and I do wish you would give AA a ring, and get some practical help and support. you cannot do this alone!!! I feel your hopelessness, and self pity , I was the Queen of self pity , believe me!
BUT you can turn this around, please ring someone and get some help, I know it is hard, but it was sheer desperation that got me on the phone, and it is , without a doubt, the best thing I ever did .
I do wish you the very best, and I DO care, cos I've been there
HUGX
Leigh
I have been exactly where you are atm. I am just glad that i did not find SR while I was still drinking, or I would have been posting away , just as you are. I rang people instead ! OMG! and visited chat rooms and got banned
I totally understand your thoughts atm, and I do wish you would give AA a ring, and get some practical help and support. you cannot do this alone!!! I feel your hopelessness, and self pity , I was the Queen of self pity , believe me!
BUT you can turn this around, please ring someone and get some help, I know it is hard, but it was sheer desperation that got me on the phone, and it is , without a doubt, the best thing I ever did .
I do wish you the very best, and I DO care, cos I've been there
HUGX
Leigh
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I'm with Leigh Rob...I've been there - if I had had SR when I was drinking?...LOL best I didn't....
but...it's time to stop. You don't wanna be that guy. I know that.
You need to let go of the past however unfair it is, however painful it is...you need to focus on you and on the present...do something so that you regain a life, and can be a father to your kids. Today.
Nothing should stand in the way of that. Nothing. That's the bottom line.
D
but...it's time to stop. You don't wanna be that guy. I know that.
You need to let go of the past however unfair it is, however painful it is...you need to focus on you and on the present...do something so that you regain a life, and can be a father to your kids. Today.
Nothing should stand in the way of that. Nothing. That's the bottom line.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Hang in there Rob. It comes in waves.
Just wait til you get a bill from her lawyer.lol
yeah, yeah let go of past mistake and leave all the sheit behind
that they fcuk up... works for some people.
I wonder if i can just go burn the town down tonight and tommorow
when i wake up..i'll just say that was the past :rof
It's thought provoking..but some people get away with stuff like that.
she ain't prayed hard enough for my ass today.
Just wait til you get a bill from her lawyer.lol
yeah, yeah let go of past mistake and leave all the sheit behind
that they fcuk up... works for some people.
I wonder if i can just go burn the town down tonight and tommorow
when i wake up..i'll just say that was the past :rof
It's thought provoking..but some people get away with stuff like that.
she ain't prayed hard enough for my ass today.
Last edited by SaTiT; 12-28-2007 at 09:44 PM.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Brighton UK
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by Jersey Nonny
[b]
[b]What makes anyone think women have a lock on irresponsible, alcoholic behavior? And, just because someone is a "recovering alcoholic" doesn't mean he/she can't behave in an irresponsible manner...some are sicker...some are thicker...than others!
[b]What makes anyone think women have a lock on irresponsible, alcoholic behavior? And, just because someone is a "recovering alcoholic" doesn't mean he/she can't behave in an irresponsible manner...some are sicker...some are thicker...than others!
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
No apology necessary. As you can tell from my post, I'm not gay either, so my experience has been with men. But, it doesn't matter...gay or straight...being betrayed by someone you trusted and cared for really hurts. I was told to let go of the pain and anger, and pray for them! Not so much for them, as for myself...and, it worked.
Rob...start including in your nightly prayers a simple, "Lord, help them to stay sober." See if it doesn't help you get over this rough spot and enable you to continue on your own road to recovery.
Rob...start including in your nightly prayers a simple, "Lord, help them to stay sober." See if it doesn't help you get over this rough spot and enable you to continue on your own road to recovery.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
It's the countdown to 2008...less than 11 hours here on the East Coast of the USA...no need for anyone to feel alone or lonely on this last day of 2007. Get out of yourself, out of the house, into a meeting...whatever it takes to see the New Year in sober!
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