SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hello Everyone. I discovered this forum recently and am feeling a very strong need to communicate with other parents who have been thru this... :worried:

A little bit about my situation: Hubby and I have been happily married for 33 years, we are both now retired, we have lived in the same house in a small rural community for 27 years, we raised our two daughters here, we were involved in 4H, classroom volunteers, etc.

I joined this group because of my daughter. Approximately 3 years ago, she met a guy at work that was addicted to Oxycontin, we did not know it at the time. She was almost 18, he was 23. When she invited him to our home during an alcohol-free New Years celebration, (just always been our preference), he brought alcohol (without our knowledge) and served it to minors in our home. We did not find out about it until a few days afterward when a couple of the teens who were there told their parents and their parents then told us.

Our daughter seemed to understand our concern and said she was sorry, but the guy never apologized, never would even discuss it with us when we confronted him with it. Long story short, daughter continued to see him, against our wishes, lost her job (we now believe because of oxy) and eventually moved into an apartment with him. That was 2 years ago. It took us a very long time to figure out why she was always having 'crises' and needed money for rent, tires, car repairs, etc. She was unable to keep a job, it was always someone else's fault. Then we discovered that her boyfriend had gotten her addicted to Oxy also. She was in denial, the usual, she can quit anytime and it isn't affecting her...! She convinced us to co-sign a 16 month lease on an apartment for her and the bf, we were naive enough to believe her when she said this was a new start for them. After 5 months, the bf was in so much trouble with people after him, that they moved to Alaska to live with his parents and left us to clean up the mess and deal with the lease ($$$). Now living in Alaska has gone terribly sour and she wants to come home.

After much soul searching, we have decided that with 'conditions', we will allow her (not bf, he stays in Alaska!) to come back and live with us, until she can get her life straightened out...We are very torn about it, because we have lost trust in her, but we feel that as our daughter, we want to give her one last opportunity to get her life together. She is now 21 years old. I know that we are in for a rough ride. I just needed to be able to talk to people who have been through this situation.

We have another daughter who is 23, doing well in school, studying to be a teacher, works two jobs, pays her own way...seldom asks us for anything...so very different from the youngest one mentioned above. Thank you for listning