Longball1

So i went into Detox last Wednesday (10 days ago), got out on Sunday and things weren't too bad. Detox wasn't too rough, it sure wasn't fun but wasn't jail by any means, though i was ready to get outta there and be active... Anyway, i've remained sober and all, but have replaced my drinking with other addictions/habits. I now drink about 10-12 cans of diet pepsi per day, and smoke 1.5 packs a day compared to less than one before, and never really drank soda before. I drank about a fifth a night, every night for 4-6 years, taking the occasional 3-4 day break once every couple of months during my moment of clarity lol. I never drank during the day, always at night, hence my recent troubles. Since returning from recovery i was fairly stable for the first day or two, now i've been staying up all night long, and haven't slept in 2.5 days (by choice). Then i will sleep for 12 nice hours, wake up refreshed, and in a great mood. I'm considered slightly bi-polar by my psychiatrist and she is worried i'm in an extreme manic state, and my drug/alcohol counselor thinks i'm on the "pink cloud". My psychiatrist got me a prescription for Zyprexa, which i haven't tried because i looked it up online and seems VERY intense, for schizo's and very disturbed people. I thought my klonopin was good enough, sheesh.... I gained about 14 pounds in the 4-5 days in detox, and really haven't eatten much of anything since. I'm taking my vitamins, drinking water some, but low on energy. I've attended some meetings, every other day on average, and really only crave for a bout 15 minutes per day, but it really doesn't phase me. I know what's best for me, and i hate alcohol at this point. I never drank for taste or fun, i drank for comfort and escape. I pretty much hang out in my apartment and work on my forum, post on a few others, watch tv, and recoop.

So, my question is, does this sound familiar to you? I am on winter break from school, no job so i can get away with this for now btw. But did you kinda let loose of caring about stuff in order to stay in a comfort zone in order to stabilize moods, avoid stress, ect? I've been a recluse for years drinking alone at my apartment, so i want to get back out in the real world and enjoy my youth, but i don't feel completely ready yet... My counselor thinks i'm on a cognitive course to relapse, and i will hit the wall hard after this "pink cloud" even though i am VERY against drinking, and really have no urge to what so ever. I just want to feel like a normal person again. Also, my face is feeling sunburned, peeling? Whats up with that? I will post more after some responses, this is my first run at being abstinant considering 1 drink is too many for me, so can did your early stages relate to my situation? Where AM i heading in your opinion? I keep feeling better everyday, i think so much more clearly, ect. But i'm nervous as to what the future has in store for me...

BTW, this is poorly worded and a grammatical disaster i'm sure, i will clarify better later if need be...

Thank you to all who offer a hand!!!
LB1

Anna

Welcome,

The first thing I would say is to take the RX given you by your dr, or else you need to find a new dr. If you have issues with the meds the dr prescribed, then go back and discuss it. That's better than making the choices on your own. I don't know what the problem with the sunburned face is, but your dr can likely help you with that.

It's normal to be nervous about long-term sobriety when you are early in recovery. Try to push yourself a little to get out and do things, but not to the point where you are stressed. Listen to your body, but remember that you need to make big changes in your life in order to live a sober life. It's not unusual to pick up other addictions, because many of us have addictive personalities and can become addicted to many things. That's where the basic changes need to come into play.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, lb1. early recovery is tough, but you can do it! keep reaching out!

hugs, k

Hevyn

Hi Longball - as I was advised when new on here in the summer, check out PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) & you'll see what to expect. As I was told in detox, getting the alcohol out of your system is the "easy part". I thought that was ridiculous, then I found out what they meant - there are alot of unexpected hurdles to get over. You seem to have a wonderful attitude, and that'll help! I felt sorry for myself and moped around alot in the beginning. I hope you stay here and let us know how you're feeling. Congratulations on the whole new life you're about to have.

curliQ

I have no advice to offer. Just wanted to offer support. Hang in there.

CarolD

Hi LB ...
Welcome to SR!

I'm pleased you are going to meetings because that is where
I found new sober friends who shared my goals.

Keep posting and keep in focus...
Recovery Rocks!....

Longball1

I apologize for the partially incoherent post, i really needed some sleep, but missed a meeting yesterday "aka" today and wanted to find an active forum w/ good participation to seek some support from... Anyway, to clarify the medication is called Zyprexa, for extremely mentally ill patients. I am by far not mentally ill, slightly bi-polar though. It is supposed to knock you out anywhere from 12-16 hours per day, ect... I was really feeling great when i reached day 7 or so, still lacking energy and such but i just was proud of myself and was so excited to be a normal member of society per se, compared to a closet drunk that hides in my apartment all day and night. So, that could be a manic episode or just plain being happy, who knows, right? Certainly, the hardest part is the lack of knowing the future. Right now i continue to feel very strong mentally, 0 chance i will have that first drink, or ever consider it. Kinda scary because i am able to unconsciously push alcohol thought right out of my mind as soon as they even begin, they vanish. I'm worried later that may not be the case and i may have a change of mindset, possible fall for a craving? Oh well, one day at a time, and go to meetings. That will be a constant reminder as is.... Thank you for your support! And yes, i will be hanging around here...

"You gotta learn to ride the bike before you can wheelie!"
LB1

Longball1

Usually i won't make post after post like this, but i want to thank you all for the support! I think feeling sorry for yourself is far to easy of a cycle to fall into, depending on age of course. Luckily (maybe) i drank more than most alcoholics, and i happen to be young (25) so i really haven't lost much in terms of family, house, cars, wife, ect. I look at it like i wasn't at rock bottom, who knows where that is hehehe, but i was close enough, and i'm happy that i got help and started my climb back up this tall mountain. Seeing some of the things people did to themselves in AA really depressed me, thankfully i was the recluse type so i never got DUI's (lucky), didn't go to bars often, ect. I did lose a gf of 5 years, that i'm still taking very tough, but life goes on. I guess that's why i am and was so concerned, because my counselor feels my postive attitude and happiness is the "pink cloud" phenomenon, (sp) and if that's the case i'm going to be very, very, very upset. He put me into a state of depression for 2 days when trying to convince me i will be somewhat suffering soon when this goes away... Well, i guess for now all i can do is stay positive, after all, you have to reach high to get the grapes... Thanks again for the kind words all!!

LB1

BTW: Quick question, what's the deal with like 98% of recovering alcoholics guzzling down loads of coffee? I guess i drink tons of soda now, but i assumed that would only be temporary. Man, i think i was the only one at my last meeting w/o coffee, several people offered and when i politely declined they looked at me like i was crazy! L0L

SaTiT

yeah in earily recovery I could have been diagnosed with anything.
Roller costers all over the place.

Yes... substituding in about as natural you're going to get.
As long as you're awear of it..you're mind and body is in shock.lol
Plus all those comfortzone habits. i don't know..maybe you
can substitue drinking with AA for a while. That's what i did.

Kind of backwards as far as reclusive for me..thou.
I was all over that place..so i had to take a time
and figure out what heck and go to the mountains
and sit a rock and just BE.lol
I was in a total fog..so I didn't take myself too seriousely.
Somedays are narley..I'll break down and cry without reasons
then the next day..I'm jumping for joy.lol

Spent most of my days riding my motorcycle out of town
in nature. Basically to keep out of trouble and heal.
I go to AA or NA every chances i got...It was the only
responsibilies I had at that time.

I needed the time out thou

it's okay..i came into recovery at 22..a lot of the folks
were happy for me and help me. I was young and didn't
cuz too much wreackage yet...I was thier baby or prodigy.lol