weeks

Where to even start.... WARNING this is going to bore u!

I'm still drinking. Made a decision to stop after Christmas as felt way too close to stop before and have all the temptation in my face. Made a firm decision, wrote a list of why I want to stop, benefits of stopping, what to do to occupy my time and help me with my cravings. Was feeling positive tho apprehensive about stopping then it happened.....

Boyfriend came over last night unpacked all his bags, my christmas presents, bought gorgeous foods for us to eat, we opened the drink and argued. Our relationship is finished! I carried on drinking until 9.30am this morning full of self pity, had an hours sleep and started drinking again. This isn't my normal pattern of drinking apart from when I'm stressed which thankfully doesn't happen often.

We were supposed to go alcohol shopping today to get Christmas supplies in, I got up looked at the alcohol list went straight to my 'stop drinking lists' and ripped them up.

I want to stop now and I'm thinking 'the shops will be closed over christmas' so maybe I should stop now suppose also along lines of get boyfriend and alcohol out of system at the same time?

On the other hand I'm thinking I should just carry on drinking over Christmas and go back to my original plan of packing in after New Year when it would be easier after having boyfriend out of my head for a while.

Confused? Probably not as much as me.

Alcohol is taking over my life. I'm not the type of drunk who goes around beating people up or causing trouble when I've had a drink but for some reason I argue with my boyfriend when I drink. Jealousy, bitterness and past issues seem to raise their ugly heads.

I don't know if I'm here to ask if you think I should drink over Christmas and stop in New Year or whether to stop now. I don't even now why I'm here at the moment. All I do know is I need to do something but feeling emotionally raw (not suicidal), confused, full of self pity and pretty p*ssed with myself.

I'm going to be spending Christmas alone now as don't want to intrude on other people - more self pity! Drink and get thro it or don't drink and be doubly miserable?

Any advice?

Thanks in advance.

Rusty Zipper

yep

if alcohol is the problem... detox is all one has to deal with...

if alcoholism is the problem... the solution is just begining!

good wishes weeks...

rz

Justme57

You can get off the train at any stop!
Why not get off now ?

HUGX
Leigh

weeks

Before my drinking was at it's current level, I fasted (juice and water fasts)previously for 3 days sometimes more. Do you think I should juice fast detox to get the alcohol out of my system quicker?

I, at times, found the fasts difficult but this time I'm going to be detoxing drink, a boyfriend and Christmas. Question to self, is this just a case of me making excuses to stay drinking.....

Thanks for reply.

CarolD

Welcome to SR....

I suggest you take a read around our Forums.
Look at the top sticky post in our Alcoholism Forum.

Click on the link

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Glad you are here....:

findingout

Hey weeks, welcome!

Drinking is not going to half the misery, it's going to make it worse. Maybe not the first one. The first one may feel like relief. But the second, the third, the fourth, the whole bottle? No, not relief. Depression enhancer. Or at least that was my experience. I would always end up drunk and full of self pity, feeling the same or worse as when I started. Another day wasted, another wasted day.

My personal experience is that I could not even begin to see how much alcohol was affecting my life until I stopped.

Give yourself a Christmas present. Stop drinking.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you found us.

My suggestion is to stop now. If you choose a date in the future, it's too easy to continue and zoom right past it. Get rid of the alcohol in the house and don't drink today.

I will be here at SR over Christmas, on and off, and others will be here too. You won't be alone.

Rowan

I'll be here too over Christmas if you need someone to talk to. I wouldn't put sobriety off, either. Getting into recovery is the biggest gift you could ever give yourself.

weeks

MANY THANKS to all of you who took time to reply. I have taken all your advice onboard. Going to have a think (another excuse?), read more of the other postings and try and get my head in the right place.

Also thanks to others who have posted just reading what you are all going thro doesn't make me feel so quite alone.

I'm going to keep reading and hopefully get rid of the self pity and get some strength.

Again, thanks.

Nohangovers4me

Hi there. If this helps you any, I was the same way. I told my self that my new year resolution was to stop drinking. Then I thought, "why wait" so another day would go by and I would drink and then another and then I have no clue what happened I woke up one morning and said"I want to not drink every evening, I want to be a better mom and take care of myself so today is the day" and I realized I am in control of that. I can be that person no one can do it for me only I can do it.
Go for it, don't wait.

Pinkcuda

I spent years telling myself I was going to do something about my drinking someday. I was just going to start controlling it though, I wasn't going to quit. I was just going to get a handle on it. I hope your promises to yourself aren't as hollow as mine were and you can actually go through with your intentions. I never could.

Nohangovers4me

Yes thanks another thing I did. I would say I am going to only drink on certain occasions. Now for the first time I have come to grips that I am NOT going to drink on any occasion. I can still go have fun on trivia night I don't need to have a buzz to have fun. Or I can barbeque and drink ice tea.....I don't have to have wine in my hand to enjoy it.

Omega Man

Weeks - I too was worried about giving up the drink right before the holidays; I'm now on day 6 sober and it feels great.

There is no bad day to quit drinking, the day you quit is the best day!

weeks

I know I want to stop but I'm not quite ready, I'm here and reading posts so I'm getting closer. For some reason I've got Christmas Day in my mind. I don't drive and the shops closest to me aren't open boxing day so I'm thinking that will be 2 days gone by the time the shops open and hopefully I will be more positive by then after making it thro the first 48.... don't know whether I'm just making excuses but it feels sort of right to do it Christmas day. I'm going to be spending it alone so won't have the extra worry of making people miserable or uncomfortable while I watch them drink.....

Boyfriend came around earlier and I gave him his presents (what was the point in keeping just cos I dumped him?). His presents for me are already here so thinking maybe when I get to day 7 I can open them then as a personal celebration! 7 days seems soooooooo long away.

Omega Man - day 6! Well done. Seems like a life time away for me. How did u get thro those first nights of sleep? I have drunk every day from about 10 in the morning until bedtime since September. Prior to September, I drank every day but not necessarily starting so early. I even had to have an operation and was told not to drink for 2 weeks previously. I decided I needed to drink just to relieve the stress. I drank the night before the operation, got on the operation table and prayed I didn't die because I'd had a drink. Woke up and prayed they would discharge me the next morning so I could have a drink. They did discharge me and I drank. No wonder my recovery from the operation is so slow.

Just typing this I now know I'm going to stop Christmas day. I'm pretty disgusted with myself. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe it's the kick up the ass I need.

Why Christmas Day? Cos the shops will be closed and I HAVE GOT to do stuff Christmas Eve and everyone will be drinking. Suppose when I start recovering I will be able to be around people drinking and make my excuses to leave after an hour. If I stopped right this minute, I wouldn't make an excuse and would stay into the early hours and then have a drink the next morning to get over the night before......

OK, I'm going to give this my best shot. So advice please anyone? :-

How am I going to sleep? I don't want to pump my body with sleeping pills when I'll be getting all the alcohol toxins out. I also don't want to be awake all night - I already know the days are going to seem soooooo much longer without a drink and I don't want to make them feel any longer.

How the hell do I occupy myself? Sounds stupid I know but I have few friends and most of them drink and I can also feel quite anxious leaving the house without a drink. I obviously have to leave the house at times (I work from home which doesn't help with my drinking), but without a drink under my belt, it can be a nightmare!

I'm droaning on I know but I'm just trying to work stuff out in my head. Reading the posts on here is so helpful but, I suppose, what helps one person I suppose won't help another. I just want to be prepared.

Anyway, Christmas/Boxing Day there will probably be more posts from me. I appreciate all replies so far but that said, even if I don't get any, it wouldn't bother me that much as it's good to just get all the anxious stuff out there, droan on and then maybe are start dealing with my issue....

Right Christmas Day it is.

To all of you who are a few minutes, days, months, years into your recovery, I pray you all stay strong at this difficult time of year.

Let the journey begin!

Happy Christmas.x