New in Recovery, what about Relationships
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
this thread is a disservice to any newcomer who is suffering and looking for answers, maybe cafe central or recovery follies is appropriate for this mindless banter.
In a newcomer forum, can we stick to the business of helping folks who want and need support.
In a newcomer forum, can we stick to the business of helping folks who want and need support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
I'll send a PM out and see if I can have the post moved thank-you for your input. I’m sorry you would go as far as calling it a disservice to the newcomer the person who created these acronyms has carried the message of AA on seven continents and is the most highly sought after AA speaker in the world.
If you would like I would be more than happy to get you a copy of his tape. The only disservice to the newcomer comes from those people who sit around complaining about the sad state of the nation or (the forum). My sponsor took me to a mtg and I complained about it I said it didn’t help the newcomer, that know one seemed to care, that I couldnt be of service.
Today I chair that mtg and will be doing so for the next year.
If you would like I would be more than happy to get you a copy of his tape. The only disservice to the newcomer comes from those people who sit around complaining about the sad state of the nation or (the forum). My sponsor took me to a mtg and I complained about it I said it didn’t help the newcomer, that know one seemed to care, that I couldnt be of service.
Today I chair that mtg and will be doing so for the next year.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
well, recovery needn't be a glum business Rob...
mind you, having said that, I still don't get this thread...unless its meant to illustrate the mnemonic power of acronyms or something?
whatever is meant, personally I find this approach trite as hell....but whaddo I know?
D
mind you, having said that, I still don't get this thread...unless its meant to illustrate the mnemonic power of acronyms or something?
whatever is meant, personally I find this approach trite as hell....but whaddo I know?
D
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
huh.
Although the letter games are fun and shows wit and all that ...
perhaps its the people skills that are unkept here.
T2F, usually the Newcomers forum is for introductions and immediate concerns of the newly sober.
WHile this game is for fun, I understand where Rob is coming from in that the newly sober dont necessarily find bounding brain synapse associations ... all that entertaining without some sort of self - explanation first.
The world is confusing enough in the beginning of sobriety.
It is also considered common courtesy in many of those aforementioned AA innundated countries to first introduce oneself, and orient those invited as to the nature of any games before throwing out the first pitch.
Jumping in with expectations of play doesn't always work when dealing with the newly sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere, SD
Posts: 177
I thought it was quite witty right off the bat.
*Rubs chin*
One of the things I have been told is no new romantic relationships for a year.
And that seems to be a pretty standard bit of advice.
I think the point of this thread was to give newcomers who are considering,
"Hey, I've been sober a month and a half, I feel a lot better about myself, and I
am interested in so and so, now that I am sober, I can be MUCH better in a relationship,
I think I'll get involved in a new one with this person," a nice little pnemonic device/acronym to point out that, "well hey, might get yourself in trouble if you do that,
little buddy."
But that's just my TAKE (Totally Awesomely Knowledgeable Expounding) on the issue.
Har har har.
Also, I do hope some of you will lighten up a bit.
I don't think the OP was playing any kind of 'games,'
and I see a bit of hypocrisy in some of the more scathing replies.
Look at the Bottoms thread.
The first time I saw it, when I was very new, it confused the crap out of me because I thought it was a thread for people to share their bottoms, and I wanted to add mine to the mix and potentially catch some hope by reading others' and seeing how they have grown past them. And that thread is chock full of
shennanigans, tomfoolery, nonsensical posts, humor, and light heartedness.
Frankly it confused me and scared me right out of the thread lol.
Then I decided instead of people talking ABOUT their alcoholic bottoms, it was a thread for SHOWING their proverbial bottoms :P
(that last bit is teasing, angry-type people).
*Rubs chin*
One of the things I have been told is no new romantic relationships for a year.
And that seems to be a pretty standard bit of advice.
I think the point of this thread was to give newcomers who are considering,
"Hey, I've been sober a month and a half, I feel a lot better about myself, and I
am interested in so and so, now that I am sober, I can be MUCH better in a relationship,
I think I'll get involved in a new one with this person," a nice little pnemonic device/acronym to point out that, "well hey, might get yourself in trouble if you do that,
little buddy."
But that's just my TAKE (Totally Awesomely Knowledgeable Expounding) on the issue.
Har har har.
Also, I do hope some of you will lighten up a bit.
I don't think the OP was playing any kind of 'games,'
and I see a bit of hypocrisy in some of the more scathing replies.
Look at the Bottoms thread.
The first time I saw it, when I was very new, it confused the crap out of me because I thought it was a thread for people to share their bottoms, and I wanted to add mine to the mix and potentially catch some hope by reading others' and seeing how they have grown past them. And that thread is chock full of
shennanigans, tomfoolery, nonsensical posts, humor, and light heartedness.
Frankly it confused me and scared me right out of the thread lol.
Then I decided instead of people talking ABOUT their alcoholic bottoms, it was a thread for SHOWING their proverbial bottoms :P
(that last bit is teasing, angry-type people).
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
I'm not sure if it's so much the content of the thread people are having a go at, I think it's more the lack of any explanation what the thread was about at the beginning; kind of had most of us guessing if you know what I mean, and even after I'd guessed what the thread was about, I turned out to be wrong (I thought it was a game)... 
But yeah, I like the thread and it is off the bat and I don't think it's inappropriate for the newbie forum (speaking as a relative newbie myself)
...
But yeah, I like the thread and it is off the bat and I don't think it's inappropriate for the newbie forum (speaking as a relative newbie myself)
...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
Thank you everyone for your responses, you are all very important to me. By talking to another alcoholic good, bad, or indifferent it helps me stay sober. So I love reading your stuff, love it. You have no idea how happy I am to hear your stories and your questions and your posts. It's wonderful to be a part of SR and it’s wonderful to be a part of you.
I knew in the beginning when I first went to AA I was hoping that I wouldn’t find any witch burners. What does every newcomer look for? He or she looks for the same thing I did this spirit among us that is kind and loving. That’s what I looked for and I have to tell you I was immensely relieved when I found out you weren’t going to burn me at the stake. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. Over the years I've had a real intolerant spirit and I gave that up because it wasn’t serving my primary purpose, it wasn’t helping anyone or anything.
The acronyms work for me. They are just acronyms you haven’t heard yet and for the most part don’t rehab programs tell rehab patients acronyms before they leave treatment? What a better place to post this than right here in the newcomer section.
NUTS work, not using the steps
HALT works, Hungry angry lonely and tired
When I got sober I also read the BIBLE
(Being Informed Before Leaving Earth).
I knew in the beginning when I first went to AA I was hoping that I wouldn’t find any witch burners. What does every newcomer look for? He or she looks for the same thing I did this spirit among us that is kind and loving. That’s what I looked for and I have to tell you I was immensely relieved when I found out you weren’t going to burn me at the stake. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. Over the years I've had a real intolerant spirit and I gave that up because it wasn’t serving my primary purpose, it wasn’t helping anyone or anything.
The acronyms work for me. They are just acronyms you haven’t heard yet and for the most part don’t rehab programs tell rehab patients acronyms before they leave treatment? What a better place to post this than right here in the newcomer section.
NUTS work, not using the steps
HALT works, Hungry angry lonely and tired
When I got sober I also read the BIBLE
(Being Informed Before Leaving Earth).
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Well, I did think it was a serious question; so, of course, I gave a serious answer. Silly me! I hope any newcomers wondering about the advisability of entering a "romantic relationship" within the first year will have seen the responses of those who've been there, done that!
Having said that, two of my favorites are:
E easing
G God
O out
G good
O orderly
D direction
And, that is my contribution to the collection of AA acronyms, for what it's worth.
Having said that, two of my favorites are:
E easing
G God
O out
G good
O orderly
D direction
And, that is my contribution to the collection of AA acronyms, for what it's worth.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
and I see a bit of hypocrisy in some of the more scathing replies.
Look at the Bottoms thread.
The first time I saw it, when I was very new, it confused the crap out of me because I thought it was a thread for people to share their bottoms, and I wanted to add mine to the mix and potentially catch some hope by reading others' and seeing how they have grown past them. And that thread is chock full of
shennanigans, tomfoolery, nonsensical posts, humor, and light heartedness.
Frankly it confused me and scared me right out of the thread lol.
Then I decided instead of people talking ABOUT their alcoholic bottoms, it was a thread for SHOWING their proverbial bottoms :P
Look at the Bottoms thread.
The first time I saw it, when I was very new, it confused the crap out of me because I thought it was a thread for people to share their bottoms, and I wanted to add mine to the mix and potentially catch some hope by reading others' and seeing how they have grown past them. And that thread is chock full of
shennanigans, tomfoolery, nonsensical posts, humor, and light heartedness.
Frankly it confused me and scared me right out of the thread lol.
Then I decided instead of people talking ABOUT their alcoholic bottoms, it was a thread for SHOWING their proverbial bottoms :P
it's been explained - several times now - that Bottoms was indeed originally about alcoholic bottoms then, while it didn't change overnight, it eventually mutated into kind of a pressure release, a goof off, a forum for humour which I think is as integral with dealing with recovery as anything else.
everyone is welcome...and most importantly there are no agendas....
and I, and anyone else, will always be happy to explain ourselves to anyone who missed the last serial explanation.
so...I respectfully refute any charges of hypocrisy
and I still don't get this thread.
D
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