Wine-not!

ok...day 4 and feeling better today than yesterday. i looked up aa meetings and have the times and directions...i will try to check one out before i go out of town on friday,,,,if not i'll have to wait until coming back from seeing my family. i am not anxious and edgy like yesterday, but i know the hard part is going to come tonite. this is the day i start thinking that having a drink or two won't hurt! got lots of xmas presents to wrap tonite when the kids go to sleep so maybe that will help me keep my mind off...if not i'll be cruising around in here. i want to do this so badly...i'm just scared of that voice in my head that says i don't have a problem just cause i've gone a few days without...and i know too well not true. how does one keep from giving in?

Jomey

You have to want it really bad, hun, not to give in. I can only tell you that that is what has worked for me. Most cravings, they say, last only 5-10 minutes (although to me, in early days, each minute could seem like a lifetime) I found a lot of help by making a list of affirmations of why I would not drink, such as "I will be healthier, my liver will heal, I will be a better mom, I will enjoy my kids more, etc". and keep copies of it everywhere - I even laminated one and put it in my pocket every morning. It helps a lot to have it in black and white when you feel the urge to drink. Someone I met at AA also suggested putting the "opposite" list on the other side, like a list of things you want to avoid by not drinking. I do not feel motivated by that personally, but thought I would pass it along.

Keep up the great work, girlfriend. You are under enormous pressure and you are doing an awesome job.

Hugs, Jomey

LauraSFO1

You are in control, WineNot!! You are the only one putting that glass or bottle to your lips. Read my post from yesterday called "Thinking through the drink". It helps me a LOT! You can do this!!

stone

Well done Wine-not.

That 'voice' is the addiction and it wants you dead BTW. Try to remember that next time it starts talking to you.

Wine-not!

thanks guys. i keep coming back here a few times a day each day and everyone is so good at reassuring. it has helped a great deal. great ideas jomey. i have also thought maybe starting a journal will help. it's amazing the things that become clearer to you once you have a few days of sobriety...like how much clearer your thinking gets and how much better your self-esteem gets as the days go by. i also think like someone mentioned on one of the boards...you feel like you drink cause you're depressed,but i think it is mostly the drink causing the depression in my case. all i keep thinking is one minute and one day at a time! i have a lot of reading to do. i have started the big book on line and i've learned many things i did not know. it's funny how the addictive mind tricks you into thinking you don't have a problem at times. only i know though that once i take that one sip of whatever, i don't want to stop! i had never really noticed this until recently though. the blackouts are what have brought my alcoholism into a reality! i do not like that feeling of not knowing what the hell i did and what a fool i have made of myself!

nandm

I am so glad you are with us on this journey winealot. You help me with your posts. Thanks

Rowan

Well done on achieving four days Thinking the drink through helps me, too.
Hang in there, it DOES get easier.

Wine-not!

you are so right...sometimes its hard to understand why i can't turn it off and think clearly about why i decide to drink...it helped me immensely reading through green tea's postings of excerpts from under the influence...have you guys seen the posts? they are under the sticky notes under alcoholism info. i think i'll have to pick up the book. it really explains the physiological changes of an alcoholic vs. a non and it is information that just astounds me...i am a nurse and currently getting my masters in physiology, but never had i read this detailed an account of the alcoholic vs the non brain/chemical reactions to alcohol. worth checking out!

nodrinkingzone

Well Done! I just woke up to Day 4 myself, and I feel about a million times better than yesterday - I got a decent night's sleep for the first time since Sunday...

It's weird - that 'voice' has been the one telling me that if I drink red wine, I'll sleep better... but I know it's a lie, so I'm glad I slept well last night. I already feel more alert, more aware, less forgetful etc.

Best of luck, and keep at it (both of us!)

Jes23

Congrats Wine-not (i like the name!)

Whenever I get those cravings I usually eat a grapefruit...don't know why. so um, yeah. Besides a grapefruit eater I am also an avid reader and I find that reading anything usually gets my mind off of things long enough so that I can "restart" my thinking. Reading the posts really helps.

I know you can make it though the evenng!

gypsytears

It's a great book Wine-Not as is the sequel Beyond The Influence. I read them both last year soon after I found this forum. I have been alcohol free for over a year now... let me tell you it hasn't always been easy but it has been so worth it ! I highly recommend reading the book (s), especially since you found the stickies helpful.

nandm

I too am a nurse. Have been for 20 years, with 12 of that working as a paramedic as well. I enjoyed the book "Under the Influence" it is well written and a very informative book. All the years I spent nursing did not teach me as much as that book did about alcoholism. So glad to see you are on a path to recovery. Take care and happy reading.

CarolD

I have not had a drink since I read "Under The Influence"
in '89. The info there convinced me to finally quit.

The eating plan (not posted here) was helpful in
early sobriety
Amazon usually has both "Under" and "Beyond"

I use God and AA to enjoy sobriety.


Yes...WN I did keep a journal
The oddest thing...what problems I had written
on x day were either lessened or gone by xx day.

I also wrote out my last withdrawal/de tox..
Had a copy in my purse as a reminder why I quit.

I also had a small AA card with our Steps..
Traditions ...Promises and Serenity Prayer.
That was to remind me what was possible!

Way To Go on your progress

youngirish

I'm still early. To tell you the truth, I use that drug/alcohol commercial slogan that used to irratated the **** out of me, "Just say no". I say no to myself when craving alcohol, and for the first few weeks, I'd feel my mind react like a child having a massive temper tantrum in the toy section. But it is just a thought when u crave, you don't have to act, and I just say no. No means I cannot have that first drink, therefore I cannot get drunk. The tantrums in my mind have ceased for the most part.

angie9

Hi wine-not , nice to meet you and I know what you mean about those dam cravings!! Im a alcoholic of 12 years and realasped badly in which Ive lost my marriage and my children arent living with me. I find it so hard to believe and humiliating that I had to hit rock bottom to give me a jolt and tho it hurts like hell its made me realise what a liar I was to myself and my family! So Im off to a AA meeting tonight and tomorrow and Ive bought lollies which help a little bit when the cravings kick in. I wish you all th best
Ang

Wine-not!

thanks for all your replies...it makes me feel much accompanied in this quest. welp, here i am and i survived day 4. night time came and did xmas gift wrappings, spoke to my neighbor for a while, and tried to keep my mind off the fact that i would normally have wine to unwind late nite since the kids are off to bed. i made it though! i am blessed to have found this site and to have finally convinced myself that i need help. see you all here on day 5! hooray

barb dwyer

congratulations on five days!

stone

I was surprised at the strength and persistence of 'the voice', I KNEW I couldn't drink, I didnt want to drink, knew it was killing me--and yet that damn voice wouldnt shut up...

I found giving it a label, 'the voice' or whatever name you like, helped me. Youre doing great.

caitlin666

so proud of you winenot and nodrinkingzone,

im on 6 weeks nearly, and im loving it

yes i have the voice too calling me, but im resolved not to go there,
i would like to remember my xmas this year with my five kids,
last year was a tradegy, presents half wrapped up, pissed by the time dinner was ready......ugh..... god am i still feeling so guilty about that

i deserve more, my kids deserve more and im going to damn well make sure we achieve that,

im going to AA as much as possible and come on here maybe two three times a day, sometimes to post mostly to read how everyone else are doing

i find everyone on here amazing, their stuggles, their advice and just being here if i need help of a fellow alcoholic:ghug