I need hope
let it grow!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
I need hope
I am losing my hope. My patience and nerves are shot and I need some hope over here. Something to hold onto. I am stuck and I am not helping myself or my addicted daughter. Or dear Mr. K.
Shares appreciated.
Signed, Mom of an active alcoholic/addict
:ghug3
Shares appreciated.
Signed, Mom of an active alcoholic/addict
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 984
You are so loved PC and should know that there's alway hope. You should know as well as anybody that there's nothing you can do for your daughter other than be her mom and support her as she struggles like we all have. I don't have much experience in sobriety, but with almost 2 months sober now YIPPY!! I can see a light at the end of the tunnle. All my friernds have noticed a change in me. There's never room to give up hope and I sencerily hope you find the courage and strength to see that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. This too shall pass.....
Love and prayers
Rob
Love and prayers
Rob
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
Oh, hon. I'm so sorry your family is having a rough time. You and Mr. K are amazing people for being so supportive of your daughter. I think about what I'm putting my mom through right now and I marvel at her strength, and yours.
Please take care of yourself.
Please take care of yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Oh K, there is hope, there is always hope.
You give so much of yourself to everyone here, I am so glad that you are looking for support here.
I find so much hope when I come here. I first came here more than 4 years ago and I had been sober for three years, at that time. I was doing pretty well but I wasn't soaring. I went to the women's forum and I met Paulie right away and she was everything I wanted to be. She gave me so much hope that things could be wonderful and I held onto that hope, and I've had some amazing changes in my life. Without that hope, they never would have happened.
I can imagine how hard it is for you to go through what you are going through and to try to stay strong. Lean on us and let us lift you up and give you the hope you need.
You give so much of yourself to everyone here, I am so glad that you are looking for support here.
I find so much hope when I come here. I first came here more than 4 years ago and I had been sober for three years, at that time. I was doing pretty well but I wasn't soaring. I went to the women's forum and I met Paulie right away and she was everything I wanted to be. She gave me so much hope that things could be wonderful and I held onto that hope, and I've had some amazing changes in my life. Without that hope, they never would have happened.
I can imagine how hard it is for you to go through what you are going through and to try to stay strong. Lean on us and let us lift you up and give you the hope you need.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Parent))))))
So sorry you're having a rough time. I wish I could say something to make it all better. I'm sure my dad felt like you do many, many times. I'd pretty much given up on myself, too. But, now I have over 9 months clean and though life's not perfect, it is so much better!
Rob's right...you are very loved. We've got some pretty strong shoulders here if you need one to lean on.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
So sorry you're having a rough time. I wish I could say something to make it all better. I'm sure my dad felt like you do many, many times. I'd pretty much given up on myself, too. But, now I have over 9 months clean and though life's not perfect, it is so much better!
Rob's right...you are very loved. We've got some pretty strong shoulders here if you need one to lean on.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
I am so sorry you are having a rough time, I have told my parents on more than one occasion that my alcoholism is NOT their fault...and you daughters is certainly not yours. For me, the best thing my parents did was to let me go....and fall flat on my face...and I fell HARD!!! When I was finally ready to stop drinking, I had to do it on my own (I had tried many times before and failed miserably)...only then was I able to begin my recovery process. Please remember, that it is NOT your fault...and you can't recover for your daughter. My prayers are with you both....Cathy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
((((K))))
You always find time for others. You're an amazing person - I can't imagine how much more so in real life. I'm sorry for your pain, and wish that there were something I could do. My daughters aren't yet as old as yours, and I cannot imagine what it would be like if they were to become addicted to drugs or alcohol. I hope I have half of your strength and wisdom.
I love you - hang in there and take good care of YOU.
Ro aka the newf
You always find time for others. You're an amazing person - I can't imagine how much more so in real life. I'm sorry for your pain, and wish that there were something I could do. My daughters aren't yet as old as yours, and I cannot imagine what it would be like if they were to become addicted to drugs or alcohol. I hope I have half of your strength and wisdom.
I love you - hang in there and take good care of YOU.
Ro aka the newf
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 32
We love you and are here for you always...Just a click away..You are strong and worthy of being happy. You have power over this addiction. We all do..I wanted a drink so bad today and I didnt..Now the day is almost over 
Do something for you, I went shopping yesterday and it felt great to do for me!!!!!!!!!
Hang in there
Hugs to you
Do something for you, I went shopping yesterday and it felt great to do for me!!!!!!!!!
Hang in there
Hugs to you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. From one mom to another I think I can understand some of what you are feeling.
Now is the perfect time for you to be on the receiving end of all the love and support you so freely and consistently offer to everyone else.
k....
I hope you will be kind to yourself and give yourself all the love and care you need to get through this tough time. Don't forget (how could you?) that you have alot of people walking alongside who will help carry the load.
huge hugs,
cmc
Now is the perfect time for you to be on the receiving end of all the love and support you so freely and consistently offer to everyone else.
k....
I hope you will be kind to yourself and give yourself all the love and care you need to get through this tough time. Don't forget (how could you?) that you have alot of people walking alongside who will help carry the load.
huge hugs,
cmc
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I am so sorry for the pain and fear you must be feeling right now. As a parent and a recovering alcoholic I have seen this disease from both sides of the road.
Shortly after I started recovery my two oldest daughters 13 and 15 at the time quit school, started bringing drug dealers in my home, were stealing alcohol from stores, were stealing other things, my oldest was cutting on herself, they refused counseling of any sort, and were completely out of control. I ran into a brick wall with them, had not idea what to do. I finally asked their father to help out and sent them to live with his mother until he was in a position to take them. That was on April fools day 2002. My oldest daughter did not speak to me for a year after that. They did straighten up for a short period of time but then went right back into things. For the next year and a half they wound up into alcohol, meth, and prostitution.
Finally my oldest daughter called and asked if she could come back home. I explained the ground rules, no alcohol or drugs in my home, she had to get a job, and she had to clear all guests with me prior to them coming into my home. She agreed. Before she got here I had her a job in the kitchen of the Assisted Living Facility I was the Resident Service Manager at. She arrived off the train with a small suitcase and a pillow. She followed through with her side of things. She lived with me for the next two years, kept her job and was promoted, and did not use any alcohol or drugs (she actually had such a bad experience with them while she was gone that she is even hesitant to use tylenol). Today she has been back to school to earn her certified nursing assistant certificate, no longer cuts on herself to deal with pain but talks things through. She has turned into a responsible, beautiful, loving young woman. My other daughter still lives with her grandmother but has gotten her GED and is currently in vet tech school with a goal of becoming a vet.
I am very fortunate that they survived their choices in life. Too many children do not. I in no way take that for granted. But I do understand the fear, concern, love, and sometimes anger when a child is bent on doing destructive things to themselves. There is always hope as long as they are alive so please do not give up hope. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
I was told while going through this to consider that "although my childrens problems may have been created by me (because of my alcoholism) they need to find their own solutions." I can not force them to take my solutions or suggestions. I can only hope, pray, and support them when they are ready to find the solutions.
Sorry for the long windedness.
Shortly after I started recovery my two oldest daughters 13 and 15 at the time quit school, started bringing drug dealers in my home, were stealing alcohol from stores, were stealing other things, my oldest was cutting on herself, they refused counseling of any sort, and were completely out of control. I ran into a brick wall with them, had not idea what to do. I finally asked their father to help out and sent them to live with his mother until he was in a position to take them. That was on April fools day 2002. My oldest daughter did not speak to me for a year after that. They did straighten up for a short period of time but then went right back into things. For the next year and a half they wound up into alcohol, meth, and prostitution.
Finally my oldest daughter called and asked if she could come back home. I explained the ground rules, no alcohol or drugs in my home, she had to get a job, and she had to clear all guests with me prior to them coming into my home. She agreed. Before she got here I had her a job in the kitchen of the Assisted Living Facility I was the Resident Service Manager at. She arrived off the train with a small suitcase and a pillow. She followed through with her side of things. She lived with me for the next two years, kept her job and was promoted, and did not use any alcohol or drugs (she actually had such a bad experience with them while she was gone that she is even hesitant to use tylenol). Today she has been back to school to earn her certified nursing assistant certificate, no longer cuts on herself to deal with pain but talks things through. She has turned into a responsible, beautiful, loving young woman. My other daughter still lives with her grandmother but has gotten her GED and is currently in vet tech school with a goal of becoming a vet.
I am very fortunate that they survived their choices in life. Too many children do not. I in no way take that for granted. But I do understand the fear, concern, love, and sometimes anger when a child is bent on doing destructive things to themselves. There is always hope as long as they are alive so please do not give up hope. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
I was told while going through this to consider that "although my childrens problems may have been created by me (because of my alcoholism) they need to find their own solutions." I can not force them to take my solutions or suggestions. I can only hope, pray, and support them when they are ready to find the solutions.
Sorry for the long windedness.
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
Hi hon...
You know i love ya, but that doesn't fix things right now. All i can do is
pray for you and wish the best. And tell you that i've seen "hopeless"
situations turn into real miracles in my own family. I do believe
in turning points and life changing moments.
Count on us, we're all here for you, whenever you need!
sending good energy to y'all. love ya K.
You know i love ya, but that doesn't fix things right now. All i can do is
pray for you and wish the best. And tell you that i've seen "hopeless"
situations turn into real miracles in my own family. I do believe
in turning points and life changing moments.
Count on us, we're all here for you, whenever you need!
sending good energy to y'all. love ya K.
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Switching on my Hope Machine!!!
This machine will channel all the hope from all the people on this forum who wish you well directly to you!!!
I hope it doesn't overload, because there are a lot of us!!!
Seriously, you are always here for others - you have been an inspiration on this forum so I want you to know that I am trying to send every ounce of hope I have towards you!!!
Please don't give up because you are important and special to so many people!!!
I'll leave my Hope Machine on as long as it takes - even if it costs a fortune in electricity...
This machine will channel all the hope from all the people on this forum who wish you well directly to you!!!
I hope it doesn't overload, because there are a lot of us!!!
Seriously, you are always here for others - you have been an inspiration on this forum so I want you to know that I am trying to send every ounce of hope I have towards you!!!
Please don't give up because you are important and special to so many people!!!
I'll leave my Hope Machine on as long as it takes - even if it costs a fortune in electricity...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Prayers, K...I wish there was more I could say or do, but try to hang onto the fact that there is always hope, always. I'll Check back in with you later. Lean on us - there is enough strength here to hold you up when you need a break. Love, Jomey
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
