juicyfruit

I haven't had a drink but I can't see me lasting.
Have a work night out coming up. Colleagues keep asking me to go to their house for pre party drinks and I said I was driving.
Now all I'm hearing is 'don't drive, come on, it'll no good if you dont drink.' I feel like I'm being a party pooper even though I know I'll be feeling awful the next day if I do have a drink.
Why can't have more will power?

Trekin hope you are doing ok, hope to see you on here

caitlin666

juicyfruit, you have to look after number one here, you know how good drinking will make you!

think back to your last drunk....how good was that.

i know you feel that you should be joining in, thing is you cant if your an alcoholic....simple as that.

i know you have more strength than to cave in, otherwise you wouldnt be here.

dig deep my friend, and make your apologies to your mates, at the end of the day you have one life, make it a good one.


im sure someone else will be along, as im not too good at the word stuff...but my hearts with you

Dee74

thing is...if they're real friends, real mates, they'll understand when you say no, or I can't.

D

Anna

Juicy Fruit,

Early recovery is hard and one of the hardest lessons for me was learning to take care of myself. And, a big part of that was saying 'No'. You know what is best. For me, I would have had to stay away from the parties and the pushy friends, until I felt stronger and that took me many months.

Focus on your recovery and you'll be fine.

indigo

All the above, take care of you and YES you can have a lot more fun not drinking and feel good about it the day after too.

Rusty Zipper

recovery first JF...

good wishes

CarolD

Hmm..
I can understand drinking because one wants to
or is at the point of having to
But.... Colleagues????

Geez! That is simply beyond me.


..My Mom used to say this...
"Everyone is doing X?
I guess if they all jumped off a
bridge you would want to too!"

hairgirl

Over the weekend, I was tempted to drink at a Christmas party.Sounds strange, but I asked my Higher power to help me stay strong, and the urge passed.It felt good to socialize without being hammered.And, I got to be the driver for the greatest man on earth.

RDKA

First of all i'm only Day 14 sober so I am just a newbie at recovery but I can totally relate to you! My biggest problem in recovery is the social pressures to drink from my friends. Almost all of my friends are drinkers some heavier than others, and the wife and I have an active social life. One couple we hang out with are big drinkers so, the husband not so much, but the wife BIG time. Everything we do with them involves alcohol, even our kid's birthday parties...how messed up is that!

My work Christmas party was on Dec 1st, the wife and I got a babysitter and were heading out the door when I told her I didn't want to go. None of my work colleagues know that I'm an alcoholic, or know that I have quit drinking. I just wasn't ready to face them AND cheap booze ($2 highballs or beer) and I knew if I went that would be putting myself into a high risk situation so we didn't go. My wife said that was fine and we went out for dinner and caught a late movie....I still have't told my work colleagues because I am currently on vacation leave until Dec 22nd.

Like you, I have a huge test coming up on Dec 15th and that is a Christmas party hosted by my wife and I. We've been planning it for 2 months so there is no backing out now. It's at our place and we are providing the booze. Great eh! Give a recovering alcoholic a shopping list of what booze to pick up...some of my work friends and neighbours will be there and they are gonna expect that "crazy, funny, hillarious when drunk" Rob (me) to be there too. My plan is to drink ginger ale and ice and just say I'm bartending and will drive people home if they've had too much...but I know it's gonna come out sooner or later and I gonna have to let people know I quit drinking because I have to quit or I'm gonna end up in an early grave, not too mention all the grief and sadness that will come before that happens.

My advice is just tell your friends you don't want to drink anymore. That couple I mentioned above, I told them I wasn't drinking anymore and they looked at me like I had 2 heads. I told them I was drinking WAY too much and I was tired of feeling like crap all the time. I didn't actually say "I'm an alcoholic, and cant' control my drinking"....from what I've shown them since we met though I am sure they can figure it out...

Sorry for the long post, my last piece of advice if you are tempted, just think back to the worst drunk and subsequent hangover along with any shame, guilt, humiliation that you had and say to yourself "Is that really worth 1 drink"

Hope this helps! and excuse the typos...:lol

Mr H

In sort of the same position myself, as ive previously noted here ive had a few of these situations rear up their heads especially now in the silly season.
To cut a long story short, ive recently cancelled on two xmas parties coming up this weekend, because they both have free booze and im a weak alchoholic...thats it in a nut shell, so instead of setting myself and there fore my wife on an inevitable fall, im saying politley no and spending some quality us time together with maybe a naughty bar of chocolate, Ill wake up feeling 100% myself and the world will not stop turning because I've missed a couple of xmas booze ups, there will always be next year when (hopefully) Ill be alot stronger
Just thought id share, good luck juicyfruit
Paul

trakin

Hey, Juicyfruit --

I'm in the same situation as you are. I was invited to a party next Friday night and I know alcohol will be abundantly available. I intend to go to the party and absolutely not drink. My excuse to my friends will be that I am dieting. For me, I think it will be easier to go to the party, and I don't think my friends will give me any pressure that I won't be able to resist. My decision to go is based on the fact that I am mostly a closet drinker. I do most of my drinking when I am alone. So, actually, being out with friends might help me not to drink, and none of my friends are drink-till-you're-drunk-and-stupid drinkers like me.

Anyway, that's my reasoning with regard to my situation. Your situation may be different. I really wish you luck. I hope you think your situation through very carefully and make a decision in your own best interest. (Listen to me...I'm only on day 3 without alcohol and _I'm_ giving advice? That's a laugh...)

Nevertheless, I am positive that I am going to log in here on Saturday without a hangover, a foggy memory, a cotton-mouth, a stomach-ache and all of the horrible gut-wrenching guilt that goes along with just one more, stupid, boring, pointless, idiotic, life-wasting night of dumping poison down my throat.

rloomer

You did the right thing by thinking about it for sure. First of all I know that if driving was the only thing important to you then just about anybody I know would offer me to stay at thier place. Driving isn't the issue and if they're friends, they'[ll understand the real issue. Maybe telling them why you shouldn't ( besides " I'm driving" ) they'll understand. If they're not real friends, you'll know by their responce.

Good luck, sending hugs.

Rob

Pinkcuda

Sonds like someones going to get pooped on regardless of what you do. Probably best be them instead of you! They'll recover from your pooping within hours. You may never recover if you give in.

youngirish

Hi juicyfruit,

I had posted because I was in a similar situation. In a nutshell, what worked was "coming down with a 24 hr flu" lol, as suggested by many. You don't have to go. Life will go on, there will be more parties in the future that won't cause you so much anxiety, but you have to do what works for you. I can only tell you that waking up the next morning sober with no regrets and no one thinking differently of me was much better then the other option. I also heard that one of the people I was supposed to go with got so drunk, ending up punching a strangers drink out of his hand, glass everywhere, tackled by security and thrown out. Could have been me, but wasn't, cause I had the flu:-) good luck with your decision

frescacan

This might sound crazy, but I heard that if you take the steps by following the directions in the big book, the tenth step promises will take care of this issue. Just trying to help.