Where I am at....
Raised from the Dead
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
Where I am at....
Well, I am wavering in and out of a bad place. Last week at work I lost a lot of money which prompted me to quit. I was scheduled to quit and start working for my dad after NYE. So basically I am spending the next 3 weeks unemployed. This is prompting severe financial insecurity, coupled with already out of control spending. 4 days a week I was attending nooner meetings downtown (this went on for a year). This has changed too due to a relationship I have entered into (too long to explain). My life has changed drastically and I am miserable and scared.
Next month I will have 2 years of sobriety. The only reason I've stayed sober is by being honest about where I am at and asking for help. I need help. My obsession has been lifted so drinking/using is no longer an option...so when I enter into a dark place its a depressive state...thank God the steps have taken away any desire to drink so I always find a way to see in the dark. Everything will be okay...thank God I dont have to drink over problems today.
Next month I will have 2 years of sobriety. The only reason I've stayed sober is by being honest about where I am at and asking for help. I need help. My obsession has been lifted so drinking/using is no longer an option...so when I enter into a dark place its a depressive state...thank God the steps have taken away any desire to drink so I always find a way to see in the dark. Everything will be okay...thank God I dont have to drink over problems today.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Hi Chicago,
I have to be careful about depression too. I understand why you are concerned. I think whenever you go through a life-change, such as job or partner, it causes anxiety. I hope you have some way to deal with this anxiety such as exercise, listening to music, meditating or whatever works for you. Maybe you can try to see this three-week period as a positive thing and use the time to do some things you had been meaning to do.
Stay strong!
I have to be careful about depression too. I understand why you are concerned. I think whenever you go through a life-change, such as job or partner, it causes anxiety. I hope you have some way to deal with this anxiety such as exercise, listening to music, meditating or whatever works for you. Maybe you can try to see this three-week period as a positive thing and use the time to do some things you had been meaning to do.
Stay strong!
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Sorry about everything seeming to "come down" on you at once...but, isn't that always the way...especially around the holidays?
Maybe you can double up on meetings locally...take some group commitments...hopefully, there'll be lots of alcothon meetings, and other activities you can participate in. Don't stay home and wallow...things will work out...they always do, somehow.
I was attending nooner meetings downtown (this went on for a year).
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
I know you're afraid and insecure at the moment Chicago but:
I don't see many negative things there
.
- you have a job lined up
- you are strong in your recovery with a good amount of quality time
- you have AA & the steps
I don't see many negative things there
.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Yep... that happens . As for your spending while waiting for the new job... sit down and make a realistic budget. It will help put your mind at ease and give you some guidelines and limits. 3 weeks isn't a long time... it'll probably go by too quickly.
. As for your spending while waiting for the new job... sit down and make a realistic budget. It will help put your mind at ease and give you some guidelines and limits. 3 weeks isn't a long time... it'll probably go by too quickly.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Chicago,
I read your post before leaving work, and waited until I got home to respond. You mentioned that you used to go 4 nooners a week - and this has changed due to your relationship. What's that about? I know that I got involved at around the 2 year mark and didn't go to as many meetings. I eventually relapsed. You're off work now until the New Year - can your Dad help you out with finances until then? In the meantime, do as suggested and set up a strict budget and limit your spending. It seems to me that you've got loads of time for meetings now that you aren't working - I hope you get to meetings every day, and connect frequently with your sponsor and others in recovery.
You had mentioned that drinking/using were no longer an option. I said that to my addictions counsellor recently and he told me that I was WRONG - that it ALWAYS would be an option, because I am an addict, and not to fool myself into thinking different. So I might be depressed - but just because the compulsion has been lifted thus far does not mean I'm out of the woods. You said it yourself - you are depressed and miserable. Throw yourself back into recovery with the earnestness that you did when you first got clean.
Please be careful - and continue to check in.
I read your post before leaving work, and waited until I got home to respond. You mentioned that you used to go 4 nooners a week - and this has changed due to your relationship. What's that about? I know that I got involved at around the 2 year mark and didn't go to as many meetings. I eventually relapsed. You're off work now until the New Year - can your Dad help you out with finances until then? In the meantime, do as suggested and set up a strict budget and limit your spending. It seems to me that you've got loads of time for meetings now that you aren't working - I hope you get to meetings every day, and connect frequently with your sponsor and others in recovery.
You had mentioned that drinking/using were no longer an option. I said that to my addictions counsellor recently and he told me that I was WRONG - that it ALWAYS would be an option, because I am an addict, and not to fool myself into thinking different. So I might be depressed - but just because the compulsion has been lifted thus far does not mean I'm out of the woods. You said it yourself - you are depressed and miserable. Throw yourself back into recovery with the earnestness that you did when you first got clean.
Please be careful - and continue to check in.
Last edited by Rowan; 12-10-2007 at 03:04 PM.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Go get a job to fill in.
Most fast food places are
hiring this time of year where I live.
Talk in your groups about the facts.
Perhaps some member there needs a
short term hand.
Blessings
Raised from the Dead
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
last night i met with my sponsee and headed over to a meeting with him. turns out i knew everybody at the meeting so that was a great feeling. so that will be my new monday meeting (thank God).
as far as not being able to go to my nooner meetings....its because i am in a relationship with a girl who attends those meetings. im giving her the meetings there for a couple different reasons...but the long in the short of it is for social reasons i am backing out (there is another girl there i have a past with who doesnt like my current GF and it would be uncomfortable).
i have been/will be making atleast one meeting a day, hitting up the gym daily, and i still have my yoga class. considering commute times thats a good chunk of the day.
i will be alright, one day at a time of course. today i will stay sober and whatever happens tommorow happens! tommorow is my homegroup (thank God) and me and my 3 best friends fellowship after so i like my chances but ill worry about it when it gets here....
as far as not being able to go to my nooner meetings....its because i am in a relationship with a girl who attends those meetings. im giving her the meetings there for a couple different reasons...but the long in the short of it is for social reasons i am backing out (there is another girl there i have a past with who doesnt like my current GF and it would be uncomfortable).
i have been/will be making atleast one meeting a day, hitting up the gym daily, and i still have my yoga class. considering commute times thats a good chunk of the day.
i will be alright, one day at a time of course. today i will stay sober and whatever happens tommorow happens! tommorow is my homegroup (thank God) and me and my 3 best friends fellowship after so i like my chances but ill worry about it when it gets here....
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