What about giving??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earlville
Posts: 8
What about giving??
They say that it is better to give than receive. My cousin is a recovering alcoholic. He had to go into rehab for 3 weeks at a hospital 2 hours away. His wife also went with him. So I took care of the property,cats, house etc. but when it came to things I needed help with my cousin was "not available". He only lives 8 minutes away. My cousin and his wife don't call and don't stop by. I have supported him in his recovery from the begining. Ive tried to interact with him to keep the family as close as we once were. There have been many other things I have done from the heart, but now I feel abandoned.
I feel I can't "give" anymore if I don't receive something in return.
I feel I can't "give" anymore if I don't receive something in return.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Sorry that you feel this way Cometdog.
Maybe you can try al-anon or the Friend and family section
of the forum. They give plenty of hugs and love in al-anon.
I do understand you thou, it's a feeling i get.
alki and addicts and incapiable of given.
well....at least mine is ..hell i don't even knows if it's mine
anymore...it dosen't care..i suppose.
maybe someday.....
i don't know when i'm dead aND burried...so Love me when i'm gone.:rof
write my a letter and put it on my grave..I don't know,,maybe that'll be the day.
you're not wrong for wanting love in return.
i think...I think..I think...it's...it's Balance in the give and take department.
Maybe you can try al-anon or the Friend and family section
of the forum. They give plenty of hugs and love in al-anon.
I do understand you thou, it's a feeling i get.
alki and addicts and incapiable of given.
well....at least mine is ..hell i don't even knows if it's mine
anymore...it dosen't care..i suppose.
maybe someday.....
i don't know when i'm dead aND burried...so Love me when i'm gone.:rof
write my a letter and put it on my grave..I don't know,,maybe that'll be the day.
you're not wrong for wanting love in return.
i think...I think..I think...it's...it's Balance in the give and take department.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
One of the really hard things I've learned in recovery is about expectations. If I have expectations about something, it's sure to cause issues and resentments for me. The less expectations I have, the more open I feel and the resentments don't appear.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
yeah,,,,i had to lower my expectations of my GF flirting with guy
on lines too...:puppet
i don't know when she's knock up on pills..I'll leave the PC running still log on
and crap like..talk about unmanaable.lol
I see all her pm and e-mail without even wanting too.lol
on lines too...:puppet
i don't know when she's knock up on pills..I'll leave the PC running still log on
and crap like..talk about unmanaable.lol
I see all her pm and e-mail without even wanting too.lol
Last edited by SaTiT; 12-10-2007 at 05:40 AM.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hi,
I had an experience last week when an elderly woman left her pocketbook under a bench...I made it my business to return it to her safe...
She was so happy to get her pocketbook back..She insisted on paying me and I politely refused...I told her my thanks was making her happy.
There is a lot of joy in giving and not expecting anything in return...
Someday, someone will do something nice for you, Cometdog...:ghug2
I had an experience last week when an elderly woman left her pocketbook under a bench...I made it my business to return it to her safe...
She was so happy to get her pocketbook back..She insisted on paying me and I politely refused...I told her my thanks was making her happy.
There is a lot of joy in giving and not expecting anything in return...
Someday, someone will do something nice for you, Cometdog...:ghug2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
some people are just crappy they will justify whatever.
addicts or not.
even abusing the government for money to attend nursing
school and crap like that...when they make **** loads of money
already...yeah i hope the government catches up with those
holly than tho mofos..lyin, sceheming, sobs... all in the name
of god BS. I hope they all go to hell...how in the hell can they
sleep at night ?
oh yeah poping the god damn pills.
or they just don't give a f%%#k
addicts or not.
even abusing the government for money to attend nursing
school and crap like that...when they make **** loads of money
already...yeah i hope the government catches up with those
holly than tho mofos..lyin, sceheming, sobs... all in the name
of god BS. I hope they all go to hell...how in the hell can they
sleep at night ?
oh yeah poping the god damn pills.
or they just don't give a f%%#k
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Originally Posted by SaTiT 
some people are just crappy they will justify whatever.
addicts or not.
even abusing the government for money to attend nursing
school and crap like that...when they make **** loads of money
already...yeah i hope the government catches up with those
holly than tho mofos..lyin, sceheming, sobs... all in the name
of god BS. I hope they all go to hell...how in the hell can they
sleep at night ?
oh yeah poping the god damn pills.
or they just don't give a f%%#k
addicts or not.
even abusing the government for money to attend nursing
school and crap like that...when they make **** loads of money
already...yeah i hope the government catches up with those
holly than tho mofos..lyin, sceheming, sobs... all in the name
of god BS. I hope they all go to hell...how in the hell can they
sleep at night ?
oh yeah poping the god damn pills.
or they just don't give a f%%#k
I've learned not to "expect" anything in return...that way I'm not disappointed when my kindness is not reciprocated. If I don't truly believe "It's more blessed to give than to receive", I shouldn't bother to give in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
yeah some freaken snake bit me...what gives...
Yeah....as i grew up in my recovery. perception change.
giving and recieving in neutral. It's the balance
if you're alway giving...then eventually you're run dry.
You're are being just as selffish by not recieving.
an extreem example: would be a spoil child on X-mas morning
refusing a gift becuase it's not what he/she wants...still a selfish
act.
For a codependent to stop and allow the other person to
give..is like insanity.lol
translate that to the god thing...lol
refusing to recieves god's love is an selfish act.
that if you belive in that holly roller my HP is better than yours stuff
and your program is better than mine.
any who... what comes around gose around.
I'm acoa..surely children grow up to adults someday.
You can preach to children all day long..they wacth..they know
more than you think...they get confuse with the message and the act.
They get f-up to cope becuase of the god thing. They do like thier
parents.. The sin's of the father and all that bible stuff.
the family traditions dyfunctional behaviors,....etc
In recovery it's call the chicken or the eggs.
I don't know... snake have babies too. it'll rip and cut like knives.
when it's your child.
I just know...family members are f^%#k up. it's a circle or a cycle.
I love the boy as if he's my own..while his mother was getting f-up
all de time. He's just like me...As i abuse drugs ans alcohol growning
up from an alcoholic home.
Yeah....as i grew up in my recovery. perception change.
giving and recieving in neutral. It's the balance
if you're alway giving...then eventually you're run dry.
You're are being just as selffish by not recieving.
an extreem example: would be a spoil child on X-mas morning
refusing a gift becuase it's not what he/she wants...still a selfish
act.
For a codependent to stop and allow the other person to
give..is like insanity.lol
translate that to the god thing...lol
refusing to recieves god's love is an selfish act.
that if you belive in that holly roller my HP is better than yours stuff
and your program is better than mine.
any who... what comes around gose around.
I'm acoa..surely children grow up to adults someday.
You can preach to children all day long..they wacth..they know
more than you think...they get confuse with the message and the act.
They get f-up to cope becuase of the god thing. They do like thier
parents.. The sin's of the father and all that bible stuff.
the family traditions dyfunctional behaviors,....etc
In recovery it's call the chicken or the eggs.
I don't know... snake have babies too. it'll rip and cut like knives.
when it's your child.
I just know...family members are f^%#k up. it's a circle or a cycle.
I love the boy as if he's my own..while his mother was getting f-up
all de time. He's just like me...As i abuse drugs ans alcohol growning
up from an alcoholic home.
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