tanyapmc

Hi and welcome to SR. Please keep posting. I go to AA and it is working for me.

RDKA

Well, today is Day 4 sober 3 and I feel pretty good so far, some minor cravings but nothing I couldn't handle. Well, I am a shift worker, doing 12hr shifts so I find it easier to abstain when I am on days on, working 12hr nights doesn't leave you much time to drink if you sleep 8hrs. On the flip side though working 12hr shifts means you get ALOT of days off and those will be a challenge...especially long stretches of days off....starting Dec 7th I have a stretch of 15 days off coming up...I plan on handling them by going to AA meetings during the day...this will be a real test for me, but I know I can do it.

I have a somewhat of a noob question, but I know me and I know that the greatest challenge for me not too drink will be in social situations when my friends offer me one. So how should I handle it...should I say "No thanks, I'm a recovering alcoholic"...or just "No thanks"...or "No thanks, I quit drinking"....I know some of my friends will really try, saying things like "come on, just one ain't gonna kill ya"...or..."ya you quit til the next time"....

Tomorrow is my last shift, then I have a stretch of 3 days off over the weekend, I know I can have fun without drinking, and I will do it!!!! :praying

Captain Kirk

Hi!
Welcome aboard and congratulations on your 2 Days! That's really good, keep on going.
I read your post and found it very interesting. I'd just like to comment on your cranium issue. Last night I saw a young man with a massive great big scar on his face. For a while I was thinking how fortunate I've been through all my car accidents never to really suffer any permant psyical consequences. Then I realized that if I were to have a scar on my face, like the young man who got me thinking into all this, it probably wouldn't be a big deal either for me or for others, because after all it's just me and the way I am. It's like if you have blue eyes but would have prefered green eyes, for example, what's the big deal at the end of the day. We are all who we are.
Once I had a motorcycle accident. I messed up an arm quite badly and now have allot of scares, even after about 12 years. A while ago I was talking to a plastic surgeon and just as a curiosaty I asked him if he could do anything to hide the scares on my arm. He said he could, but he reccomnded me to leave them as they are as, he said, my scares tell a story.
Anyway, good luck with the no drinking, and let us know how you're getting on.

RDKA

Wooohooo....1 week sober 3 and man so far it hasn't been too bad. After tomorrow it'll be the longest I have gone without drinking in over 10years!!! Tonight I was even at my friend's place (the one in my first post that I mention) and told him I wasn't drinking anymore and he took it pretty well, but seemed a little down...He said the only reason he drank a few (he's a responsible drinker) is because I did. I said well "what you see now is the REAL me, not that crazy drunk, slurring, stumbling person you saw before"...I basically told him and his wife that I was drinking WAY too much and I needed to stop, and that was it...he had a few digs to throw back but I took them in stride...His wife told me i'd be drinking before the end of the month, so I bet her $100...she wouldn't go for it though...but it was all good...although for some reason they think I'll go back to drinking this summer when we start camping again, well they are in for a big suprise...maybe they'll kick us off the camping spot since I'm gonna be so boring LOL...

Aldo: You're right man it is no big deal! But for a teenager just wanting to fit in and feeling like they don't it was a big deal for me back then right up into my late 20's...now in my late 30's with a beautiful wife and 2 fanstastic children it doesn't bother me at all...although sometimes in social situations I still feel uncomfortable, which I think is something I will never get over completely, maybe I'm just a social phobic lol...thanks for the support man...I really do feel great and except for 1 slight anxiety moment so far I haven't really felt most of the symptoms others have described...oh except vivd dreams..seem to have them every night now, but they are always good dreams and I wake up feeling good...Night all...

Captain Kirk

I think we all have social phobias to a certain extent, some people have more, others have less but I guess it's just a part of human nature.
Anyway, I'm pleased to hear you're doing well. Keep on going!

RDKA

Day 9 Sober an over 10 year record so far it hasn't been too bad, what I thought was feeling like crap yesterday was related to my body getting used to being without alcohol, was actually the flu...so far my whole family has had it...son last week, daughter and me last night and now the wife is hugging the porcelaine.

People talk about brain fog, right now I find my head is a lot clearer than when I'm drinking or hungover. Well I hope everyone is doing well have a great night.

RDKA

Well, if I get through today it will be 11 days sober but now I start a period of 2 weeks leave, and I know the temptation to drink, knowing I don't have to go to work will be, will be great. I just hope I can do it, I know I can do it all I have to do is think how great I feel now at almost sober for 11 days..wish me luck

Dee74

take those two weeks like you have been Rob - one day at a time

D

RDKA

Hey Everyone, I haven't posted for a while because as you may guess, I drank...Thurs-yesterday....as I had posted earlier, my wife and I hosted a Christmas party at our house on Saturday. On Wednsesday I went out and bought the booze for it...man the compulsion to drink that night was strong, but I didn't...I kept trying to justify drinking in my mind...then Thurs came around and we were having dinner at a friends place, he asked if I would like a beer and I said yes I had 4 or 5 beers that night...Friday came and in the evening I drank about 10 more....then Saturday showed up and we had around 30 friends and family, and I don't remember how much I drank, blackedout drunk in any case, apparently I was well behaved according to the wife...Anyway, needless to say I drank again on Sunday and yesterday...man do I need help, 16 days sober and I felt great, then go and blow it!!!

I don't even know what to say except that I am ashamed at my lack of control and that I am at Day 1 again...hope everyone's doing well

tanyapmc

RDKA........pick yourself, dust yourself off and start again. The only shame would be in not coming back.

Are you attending any meetings?

RDKA

I was supposed to go Friday, but I didn't. I drank instead...I really need to get a sponsor, and work the 12 steps...When I went the Friday before last they were very welcoming and I shared my story with them, I told them that I want to get a sponsor and work the steps and that I needed to quit, because I don't want to end up in an early grave. I told them I wanted to set a good example for my great children...they were all so supportive, that I feel I just paid them lip service with my story.....

I love my wife, she's a great lady, but I don't think she really understands how hard it is to quit drinking, especially when we are doing high risk things like hosting giant Christmas parties, having booze in the house, going to friends houses where the first thing they ask after you take your coat off is "what are ya drinking"...then when you say "just pepsi" they look at you like you've got 2 heads...I know it sounds like I'm passing the blame, don't worry I realize it's entirely my own fault...

At the meeting I attended 2 of the people said they needed to stay away from "high risk" areas like bars, parties where booze is free or cheap or even present and this is what I must do as well....My wife and her friend are already planning a New Year's bash!!! and were looking at my shift schedule (I'm a shift worker) to plan the next "big" night out on my next set of weekends off in January...Man I sound like a whiner don't I...

Well, I'm gonna look on the AA website and try to find a meeting today...thanks for listening...it really helps to post....

tanyapmc

The ONLY thing that has ever worked for me are the 12 steps. I tried for 20 years for AA not to be the answer.

Is there anyway you can sit down and explain to your wife what you explained here?

My personal opinion is that co-dependents have a very hard time when we start to get healthy. They lose their power in our lives. I am 11 months clean and sober and still dealing with this.

But my sober life is SO much better. Please keep posting.

RDKA

Yes, I will. I mean I've already admitted to her that I'm an alcoholic so to explain to her what I've said here shouldn't be so hard.

Doing a lot of thinking and soul searching this morning. I've come to these conclusions:

1. In order to be successful and recover for good I need to put it on myself and on my friends that I'm an alcoholic and that's why I'm dont want a drink. So stop pressuring me to drink or I wont be hanging out with you anymore. You see in the past 3 weeks when I wasn't drinking I was just telling my friends it's because I want to get into shape and I can't do that and drink. But that was only partially true...

Hopefully this will have 2 effects...first of all my "friends" will stop asking, pressuring, pushing me to drink....and it will give me a level of accountability not to fail...I don't know what do you guys think....

Well there is a meeting at 2pm called the New Beginners Group not too far from me so I am going to that...