HUGE Thanksgiving Wake Up Call
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by GrouchoTheCat 
OK,
Most of us are extremely intelligent and also very sensitive people.
Just seems to be the way it is.
Get this book:"Beyond Recovery".
Get it ASAP and read it carefully.
It is a well researched tome that focuses mainly on the medical aspect of addiction. Much of it is cutting edge stuff. It will explain why you drink a whole bottle when you don't mean to.
I found it extremely illuminating.
Best to you,
Ted
Most of us are extremely intelligent and also very sensitive people.
Just seems to be the way it is.
Get this book:"Beyond Recovery".
Get it ASAP and read it carefully.
It is a well researched tome that focuses mainly on the medical aspect of addiction. Much of it is cutting edge stuff. It will explain why you drink a whole bottle when you don't mean to.
I found it extremely illuminating.
Best to you,
Ted
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by discoveringme
88:
You said...I know that I can abstain what makes it hard is the college lifestyle and the fact that all my friends will be drinking/drugging in there free time to unwind. And the truth is I really enjoy it on occasion, and I want to be able to on occasion once I get it under control. I am going to abstain until New Years because I will not lie to myself I honestly know that there is no way I'm going to turn down alcohol on New Years its my favorite holiday. However after that I think I will totally abstain for 3 or 4 months at the very least.
If you really think about it, there will forever be "reasons' or "holidays" to enjoy alcohol. We ALL enjoyed alcohol to begin with! Your situation is not all that different than mine, but I'm older (44) and all my old friends still drink on weekends, holidays and any other occasion they can think of. I used to party with them, then realized I needed to cut back a little or control it. Then I drank some more...and then I promised I'd cut back or stop alltogether for a while. and then I drank some more...and so on and so on. All of us probably started out exactly where you are right now. Now I'mm 44, sober for 30 days, with many regrets, and many lost years I can never get back.
So, good luck trying to control it, but my thoughts are that you may be in the same shoes as a lot of us are in a decade or two, wondering why you didn't take the high road at your young age when you first realized it may be a problem.
Try the 3 or 4 months trial and see if you can do it. If not..then I think you have an answer already.
You said...I know that I can abstain what makes it hard is the college lifestyle and the fact that all my friends will be drinking/drugging in there free time to unwind. And the truth is I really enjoy it on occasion, and I want to be able to on occasion once I get it under control. I am going to abstain until New Years because I will not lie to myself I honestly know that there is no way I'm going to turn down alcohol on New Years its my favorite holiday. However after that I think I will totally abstain for 3 or 4 months at the very least.
If you really think about it, there will forever be "reasons' or "holidays" to enjoy alcohol. We ALL enjoyed alcohol to begin with! Your situation is not all that different than mine, but I'm older (44) and all my old friends still drink on weekends, holidays and any other occasion they can think of. I used to party with them, then realized I needed to cut back a little or control it. Then I drank some more...and then I promised I'd cut back or stop alltogether for a while. and then I drank some more...and so on and so on. All of us probably started out exactly where you are right now. Now I'mm 44, sober for 30 days, with many regrets, and many lost years I can never get back.
So, good luck trying to control it, but my thoughts are that you may be in the same shoes as a lot of us are in a decade or two, wondering why you didn't take the high road at your young age when you first realized it may be a problem.
Try the 3 or 4 months trial and see if you can do it. If not..then I think you have an answer already.
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Originally Posted by 51anna
Hi and Welcome,
You've gotten lots of good advice, but I want to add one thing. I think it's safe to say that all of us who are alcoholics, tried desparately to control our drinking. I was so determined to do that, I kept trying and trying. But, I have learned that once you cross the line, you can never go back. It just can't happen. If you are addicted to alcohol, you can't go back to controlling your drinking.
You've gotten lots of good advice, but I want to add one thing. I think it's safe to say that all of us who are alcoholics, tried desparately to control our drinking. I was so determined to do that, I kept trying and trying. But, I have learned that once you cross the line, you can never go back. It just can't happen. If you are addicted to alcohol, you can't go back to controlling your drinking.
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Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper
88, thanks fior you answer as to the "Why"
for me, i had the same reply at that age, yep, at 25, at 30, at 35, and would have to say, even at forty... ya get'n to see a patern...
at forty, when i said, ok, i'm done, the Rat of Addictions had other plans for me...
it took me almost to death!
then my Band of Gypsys did a number on me for another 8 years...
i didnt believe in anything when i hit the recovery rooms, today, i have to say, something other then me is helping to write this tonight..
controled, drink, controled drug, controled sex, controled gambling, controled anything just aint in my life today... i'm a addict!
i just take it one grateful day at a time...
recovery in one pocket, life in the other, and no expectations...
all good wishes to a better tomorrow...
rz
...
its progressive, addictions that is!
for me, i had the same reply at that age, yep, at 25, at 30, at 35, and would have to say, even at forty... ya get'n to see a patern...
at forty, when i said, ok, i'm done, the Rat of Addictions had other plans for me...
it took me almost to death!
then my Band of Gypsys did a number on me for another 8 years...
i didnt believe in anything when i hit the recovery rooms, today, i have to say, something other then me is helping to write this tonight..
controled, drink, controled drug, controled sex, controled gambling, controled anything just aint in my life today... i'm a addict!
i just take it one grateful day at a time...
recovery in one pocket, life in the other, and no expectations...
all good wishes to a better tomorrow...
rz
...
its progressive, addictions that is!
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Posts: 17
Well all this just came to me a little while ago when I posted it in another thread after a lot of thinking:
Don't quote me on this but I'm pretty sure most if not all substance abuse is peoples attempts at self medicating their undiagnosed personality disorders.
Because of the society we live in due to a combination of the way many children today are raised and the social environment kids encounter when they start school most people have some kind of personality disorder, but this fact is largely unnoticed by the general population and seems to be ignored. I guess the reason for this is many people tend to overcome or at least cope with their personality disorders without ever realizing they had one in the first place. Some people cannot and often those people end up homeless, in mental institutions, or self medicating their whole life with an addiction.
I wasn't going to try and explain this because I don't think most people will understand, but here it goes.
I know that I myself have ADD and I have borderline personality disorder, and some degree of bi-polar (mood dysregulation) that is situational and because of my borderline personality disorder. Basically what that means is I often allow little things that happen in life to drastically effect my mood (sometimes positive, sometimes negative) which I should not. I know that the reason I have abused substances in my life are an attempt at self medicating the disorder because they present immediate positive mood changes. As I learn more about the disorder, myself, and the way my mind works I will eventually be able to control and overcome the disorder by working on changing my personality without self medicating.
This is all self diagnosis that I have done through much research, and discussion with another person who had it and helped me realize I have it. It basically explained my whole life to me. I finally understood why I am the way I am. I came to this realization only a month or so ago, and my life has been getting better and better ever since I started working on changing it.
I intend to meet with a psychologist over winter break to discuss this with him. However I do not wish to be prescribed to any kind of medication as I don't want to take anything legal or illegal on a daily basis at all, since with determination and a little work I can fix this problem.
I freaked out this morning after an out of control drinking episode that happened last night that I didn't understand, which is why I joined this site and now I figured out that the drinking episode was a result of me being depressed about this girl. Relationship rejection has a huge effect on my mood dysregulation and it took me till now to realize that. But now I think I'm going to be just fine.
Don't quote me on this but I'm pretty sure most if not all substance abuse is peoples attempts at self medicating their undiagnosed personality disorders.
Because of the society we live in due to a combination of the way many children today are raised and the social environment kids encounter when they start school most people have some kind of personality disorder, but this fact is largely unnoticed by the general population and seems to be ignored. I guess the reason for this is many people tend to overcome or at least cope with their personality disorders without ever realizing they had one in the first place. Some people cannot and often those people end up homeless, in mental institutions, or self medicating their whole life with an addiction.
I wasn't going to try and explain this because I don't think most people will understand, but here it goes.
I know that I myself have ADD and I have borderline personality disorder, and some degree of bi-polar (mood dysregulation) that is situational and because of my borderline personality disorder. Basically what that means is I often allow little things that happen in life to drastically effect my mood (sometimes positive, sometimes negative) which I should not. I know that the reason I have abused substances in my life are an attempt at self medicating the disorder because they present immediate positive mood changes. As I learn more about the disorder, myself, and the way my mind works I will eventually be able to control and overcome the disorder by working on changing my personality without self medicating.
This is all self diagnosis that I have done through much research, and discussion with another person who had it and helped me realize I have it. It basically explained my whole life to me. I finally understood why I am the way I am. I came to this realization only a month or so ago, and my life has been getting better and better ever since I started working on changing it.
I intend to meet with a psychologist over winter break to discuss this with him. However I do not wish to be prescribed to any kind of medication as I don't want to take anything legal or illegal on a daily basis at all, since with determination and a little work I can fix this problem.
I freaked out this morning after an out of control drinking episode that happened last night that I didn't understand, which is why I joined this site and now I figured out that the drinking episode was a result of me being depressed about this girl. Relationship rejection has a huge effect on my mood dysregulation and it took me till now to realize that. But now I think I'm going to be just fine.
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Location: Seattle Washington
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It is known that many highly intelligent and creative people have abused drugs. When I used I felt more alive, I wanted to create, ideas came to me that I would have not thought of. Especially on MDMA or acid.
Use your smarts to research and learn while taking your past experiences for the wisdom they can give you. Move beyond your addictions, use all the resources available to you. I always thought I was to smart, strong, and tough to need any help. But I finally found I was wrong and that I need the support of many to continue on in sobriety. I am now learning that drugs are the devils best friend. They bring promise of great rewards and at the beginning this is true, then only to capture you and make you a prisoner of complete darkness in the end. Don't waste your gifts which you have many, don't buy into the promise.
Continue to post and find like minds that can help steer you in the right direction. It is not by chance you posted here. Good luck - you can be sober and be great!
Use your smarts to research and learn while taking your past experiences for the wisdom they can give you. Move beyond your addictions, use all the resources available to you. I always thought I was to smart, strong, and tough to need any help. But I finally found I was wrong and that I need the support of many to continue on in sobriety. I am now learning that drugs are the devils best friend. They bring promise of great rewards and at the beginning this is true, then only to capture you and make you a prisoner of complete darkness in the end. Don't waste your gifts which you have many, don't buy into the promise.
Continue to post and find like minds that can help steer you in the right direction. It is not by chance you posted here. Good luck - you can be sober and be great!
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88, yes... its all about change...
how can we change what needs to be changed if we dont know what to change...
answer, a honest self apraisal...!
and i mean honest, clean, and again, no rationalizing, self justifying or justifications...
bottom line...!
how can we change what needs to be changed if we dont know what to change...
answer, a honest self apraisal...!
and i mean honest, clean, and again, no rationalizing, self justifying or justifications...
bottom line...!
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: library
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"I could abstain completely, the fact of the matter is that I don't want to. I want to control it I don't want to let it control me. I feel like I just need to teach myself some discipline. I use to have control, I lost it and I want it back."
Do you realize what a famous quote this is, said by every! alcoholic and recovering alcoholic at one time or another?
jane
Do you realize what a famous quote this is, said by every! alcoholic and recovering alcoholic at one time or another?
jane
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Location: Sweden
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Realization88:
My first reaction to your post was: only 19 and THAT much using under your belt!
You seem to have sampled every candy jar in the drugstore. And, you started SO early in life, at 11. You are in trouble and you know it and that is probably why you are here. You say you are not an alcoholic, but don't forget that lots of people have a double diagnosis problem: drugs and alcohol. It could happen to you.
I would keep in mind that studies now are showing that young people in developed countries are using drugs and drinking earlier in life than previous generations and using MORE than previous generations so the risk of developing physical/mental problems from the addictions are happening earlier too. Liver disease at 30, instead of 50 for example.
In the last part of your post you say you want to stop drinking, so, that's what you need to do: keep coming back here, make a plan for recovery, find a support network in your life, try AA.
Um, and, find new friends who don't drink or do drugs. BTW, I have two sons, 18 and 20.
Welcome and good luck!
:atv
My first reaction to your post was: only 19 and THAT much using under your belt!
You seem to have sampled every candy jar in the drugstore. And, you started SO early in life, at 11. You are in trouble and you know it and that is probably why you are here. You say you are not an alcoholic, but don't forget that lots of people have a double diagnosis problem: drugs and alcohol. It could happen to you.
I would keep in mind that studies now are showing that young people in developed countries are using drugs and drinking earlier in life than previous generations and using MORE than previous generations so the risk of developing physical/mental problems from the addictions are happening earlier too. Liver disease at 30, instead of 50 for example.
In the last part of your post you say you want to stop drinking, so, that's what you need to do: keep coming back here, make a plan for recovery, find a support network in your life, try AA.
Um, and, find new friends who don't drink or do drugs. BTW, I have two sons, 18 and 20.
Welcome and good luck!
:atv
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I could abstain completely, the fact of the matter is that I don't want to. I want to control it I don't want to let it control me. I feel like I just need to teach myself some discipline. I use to have control, I lost it and I want it back.
You say you know a lot about drugs, well if this is true then you know a lot about alcoholism, I am an alcoholic and funny thing, even at 12 years old when I first started drinking there was no such thing as just one drink...... unless of course that was all there was!
You say you can abstain from drinking, when I was 23 years old I went 1 1/2 years without a drink or a drug of anysort on simple will power and started to drink again when I was 25. By the time I was in my late 40's I HAD to drink every day, there was no choice for me physically or mentally.... I had to drink!!!
My high IQ did not stop me from becoming physically addicted to alcohol. I was an alcoholic from the time I drank my first drink, I was simply not physically addicted to it.
You say "the fact of the matter is that I don't want to", I did not either, I had control!!!! LOL Looking back now I realize that was my disease fooling me.
Here is one for you.... did you know that alcoholism is one of the few disease that one of the classic symptoms of the disease is the denial of the disease?
Look I am not talking down to you at all when I say this because I have been right where you are at today when it comes to drinking, I knew I had a problem with drinking, but I knew I was WAY to smart to let it kick my ass!!!!
I was able to use my brains and will power to accomplish ANYTHING I put my mind to, there was no way that some liquid called alcohol could ever overcome my intellect, my intellect had conquered everything else put in front of me in life, even electronics or computers.
Guess what? My high IQ was incapable of controling my disease, you see I am living proof that when researchers say that alcoholism is a progressive disease they are spot on!
The more I drank the higher my tolerance became, when I was 13 a 6 pack would get me fall down drunk, by the time I was in my late 20s a case a day was not an issue, into my 30s I could easily drink over a case and a half a day and stupidly bragged about how much I could drink! A 6 pack was simply priming for the pump!
When I was in my early 40s I was drinking heavily every day but since I was not getting drunk I knew I did not have a drinking problem, I only had one DUI when I was in my 30s, I had never got locked up for drunk in public, never had a divorce due to my drinking (Came VERY close with my present wife), and I managed to keep my job.
Well when I turned 50 I was a full blown alcoholic, I now had to drink!! My tolerance to alcohol went haywire (For those knowledgeable this is part of the last stage), one day 6-8 beers would have me stumbling and slurring my speech, the next day I could drink one right after the other from the time I got up until I went to sleep and not even cop a buzz.
I was where you are at right now my friend.... high IQ and all and damn near let my intellect & pride kill me!
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Sorry to be a pest, but I forgot to mention that I achieved sobriety ( at least for now--3 1/2 years) and only marginally used AA. I realized after 6 months it was not for me and found other ways--they do however offer many handy sobriety tools.
If you are interested in other options, let me know.
jane
PS--this CANNOT be done alone--very rare and I doubt you are the ideal candidate
(despite your IQ--sorry, I couldn't resist that part)
If you are interested in other options, let me know.
jane
PS--this CANNOT be done alone--very rare and I doubt you are the ideal candidate
(despite your IQ--sorry, I couldn't resist that part)
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: The morgue if I don't stay sober.
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FWIW, I had an I.Q. test administered by Johns Hopkins University when I was in the 7th grade. I scored in the top 2% in the nation. I don't know where that falls on the I.Q. scale, but I assume it's relatively high.
As others have said, it doesn't mean diddly-squat.
Alcohol took the ambition right out of me. I had a GUARANTEED scholarship to an Ivy League school, and threw it all away on booze and doing things "my way".
My best friend went to Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship. I learned how to drink.
When I was 23, I realized how badly I had screwed up. Went into AA, got an Associate's degree in electronics engineering and went on the straight and narrow. I had plans to go back and get a Bachelor's degree and possibly go further.
Then I started drinking again. Bad ju-ju.
I am cleaning it up now, for good, but that's 17 years and a great education down the toilet.
Having a high I.Q. will not make you immune to this ****. :morning
As others have said, it doesn't mean diddly-squat.
Alcohol took the ambition right out of me. I had a GUARANTEED scholarship to an Ivy League school, and threw it all away on booze and doing things "my way".
My best friend went to Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship. I learned how to drink.
When I was 23, I realized how badly I had screwed up. Went into AA, got an Associate's degree in electronics engineering and went on the straight and narrow. I had plans to go back and get a Bachelor's degree and possibly go further.
Then I started drinking again. Bad ju-ju.
I am cleaning it up now, for good, but that's 17 years and a great education down the toilet.
Having a high I.Q. will not make you immune to this ****. :morning
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