Tazman53

I wonder what percentage of those that relapsed would have died if they had never stopped? Do you feel it is better to keep drinking making sure you die earlier and maybe kill someone along the way then gamble on a relapse?

Were you sober? It took over a month without a drink before the fog of alcohol started to lift from me. When I was drinking on the rare days I did not drink I never considered myself sober, I was just less drunk then I normally was.

I had no idea what "SOBER" felt like until I had been without a drink for over a month.

Keep drinking every other day and you will wind up like I was, I had no choice, I had to drink every day just to feel normal!!!!

I was exactly where you were at in your drinking about 5-10 years before I finally quit. IT GETS WORSE!!!!!! You think it is bad now? LOL You have seen nothing yet!!!!

Keep on drinking, the day will come when you will have no choice, physically and mentally you will be like I was and have no choice when you drink..... you will drink EVERY day.

Ask your self if you are ready yet to do anything to quit drinking and stay stopped?

Forget the odds, according to the odds I should still be drinking, I stopped & have stayed stopped.

Did I do it my way?

Nope my way like the vast majority of alcoholics who try stopping their way failed!

I was willing to do what millions of other SOBER alcoholics did to get and stay Sober!!!!

I admitted my way did not work!!!!

I got on the same path that millions of other alcoholics got on and started doing it another way, a way that is proven to work as long as I do it thier way and not mine!

I was at the point of either stop drinking and live, or keep drinking and die!

You are getting to that point drink by drink, alcoholism never stops progressing as long as we keep drinking, we can arrest the progression of our disease by TOTAL abstinance or we can drink our selfs to death!

I actually saw my death before it was to late....... will you? Will you let that day pass you by and die drunk?

TorontoGuy28

Need4Change -- one day at a time !

tellus

This really jumped out at me.

For maybe the past year, my line of thinking has been "I don't get hangovers anymore." I figured hangovers are supposed to wear off, right? It only recently clicked for me that no, I'm just hung over all the time. And that's no better than being drunk.

I can't wait for that fog to lift.

Impurrfect

need -

I wouldn't put too much into the statistics. After all, I know of a LOT of people who have years of sobriety (much more than 10) but as far as they know, they're not on any statistical database. Statistics pick certain people and follow them and their progress (or lack of). Because I'm pretty open about my addiction, I have met many people who have more than 10 years of sobriety.

I say forget about the statistics. I'm sure, with the things I did when I was active, I should be dead "according to statistics" and I'm not....but I am recovering.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

ccirider

Hi Need4Change:

Powerlessness and hopelessness often go together, but they don't have to. You have proven to yourself that you are powerless over alcohol, so why not take the first step and formally admit to yourself and someone else who has been there your powerlessness.

The second step is to take a leap of faith and have hope for yourself that you will be from among those who make it to the promised land. I think it's very misleading to focus only on relapse rates, because those who relapse and then continue on their journey are different from those who relapse and continue to spiral downward. Focusing only on relapse rates does not take the aforementioned into consideration.

I may be powerless, but I refuse to be hopeless and helpless. By taking a leap of faith and using hope as a platform, I can then jump head-first into what I can do to help myself. As I help myself, the powerlessness lessens. It's a process, my friend, but you need to take the first step and guess what? I have hope for you. You just need to have hope for yourself.

Peace.

Jomey

What CC said. Stay sober just for today, ok?

Pinkcuda

100% of those who's desire to quit outweighs their desire to drink, never drink again. As long as they are honest with themselves and never lose sight of their priorities.

Hope

Don't worry about statistics. Just take the necessary action and steps needed for you sobriety and don't let those numbers get you down and discourage you. Besides, they can't say who will relapse or not.

So focus on you and your recovery.

Remember one day at a time. Just tell yourself, you can do this for that day. The days will take care of themselves.

Besides, we are only given one day to deal with at a time anyway (thankfully) so what is behind you and ahead of you isn't as important as the day you have at hand.

Don't ever give up hope.

Need4Change

Thank you so much!. I have just read all of these new posts and there is a lot of valuable advice and information in them.

Yesterday, I drank myself silly and said and did a lot of really stupid things. It's a miracle that I'm even alive today. I woke up with a racing heart, pounding head, dizzyness, loads of anxiety and wondered how I would ever make it through the day. I felt hopeless, deeply depressed and desperate for a way out of my alcoholism nightmare. The shame of it is that a day or two from now when the hangover abates and I'm feeling a little better, my brain will forget all about the horrible hangover I have today and I'll be right back to wanting to drink again. The cycle is just MADDENING.

Why do I drink?. I can't even stand the taste of beer anymore (I'm actually repulsed by it) and I don't even feel like drinking (ie; cravings, etc) when I start on a binge and yet I drink anyway. I can't put my finger on it but I think it has something to do with feeling bored, kind of crappy...perhaps my brain chemistry gets really screwed up and that's what makes me pick up that first beer. Perhaps I just feel like I need a beer to feel "normal" or "like myself" again because over the years my brain has become so accustomed to swimming in alcohol. I don't even get a "buzz" from drinking, there is zero pleasure in it for me and nothing but pain for myself and those around me and yet I still drink.

I've tried AA (it's not for everyone and it didn't work for me - sorry). I've tried Naltrexone and it works but the side effects can be intolerable and so I soon stop taking it and relapse. I've tried Campral and it works to an extent but the side effects again, are intolerable. I've prayed. I've asked others to pray for me. I've begged God to help me quit. I'm at my wit's end with this. I almost think I would rather have cancer or AIDS than to be an alcoholic. I'm speaking from the heart people and I REALLY DO want to quit. I could almost cry right now because I'm so sick of this cycle or drinking...hangover...drinking...

So HOW specifically/exactly do I quit?. I DO realize that I am powerless over this monster. I DO believe in a power greater than myself and I've even righted a lot of the wrongs I've done while I was drinking and apologized to those I've hurt. I'm familiar with the "steps" but HOW do I quit because I'm ready to quit NOW. Please help me. I am on the last rung of life's ladder and I don't know how much longer I can continue to hold on.

Thanks for listening and I really need your help...any help...PLEASE!

Need4Change

Rusty Zipper

need4 REHAB TIME!!!

and as someone around this joint mentions...!

"Follow Directions!"

good wishes need4

xxoo

rz

Need4Change

What is rehab?. I've heard of drug rehab and rehab for alcoholism and other addictions but what exactly is it?. Is it a place you go to like a hospital and if so, how long do you stay and what's the "routine" there, etc?. Do they keep you involuntarily and if not, what's to keep you from checking out early and sneaking a drink and ending up right back in the same mess again?. What do you do all day there (ie; lay in bed, watch TV, etc?). Do they give you drugs and what kind?. Where do I even find a rehab?. Who pays the bills, feeds the animals, runs the business, checks the email, etc while I'm away?. Some of these questions are sort of rhetorical but others are important questions/considerations and of course, I realize that if I drink myself to death it won't matter who runs the business, feeds the animals, etc but while I'm still alive, these are important things that have to be dealt with.

Need4Change

tellus

Need4Change, I don't have experience with rehab, but I can tell you what my plan is: I'm going into an intensive outpatient program. It'll involve three (?) hours of meetings a day for a couple months combined with one-on-one counseling. After that, there will be a period of "aftercare," with weekly (?) meetings and checkup counseling.

I know they also have inpatient programs, but I don't know what those entail.

Rusty Zipper

need4...

read up...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/detoxcenters.html

and talk with a good doctor about it!

me, i detoxed myself, and honey, i dont recomend it!

it did , and helps keep me clean and sober...

major side effect... death!

Rusty Zipper

the salvation army has a free program too...

Need4Change

How did you detox at home?. What was your "program"?. What types of drugs did you take during your home detox (ie; benzos to prevent seizures, D. tremens, Naltrexone, etc)?.

Need4Change

1963comet

You could try a doctor if you really want to stop drinking. You are just trying to control your drinking.

Need4Change

Your right, I have been trying to manage/control my drinking but now I am TRULY ready to quit...for good. Even though I am still hungover from yesterday, I have to admit that it does feel much better to be sober/not drunk than to be completely wasted and saying and doing all kinds of really dumb things. I like this sober feeling and I want it to last forever...not just until the next drink.

I did look at the list of detox centers but most seem to be more like resorts/country clubs and most (if not all) are far away from where I live. I have been strongly leaning toward an outpatient-type program or a medically-managed home detox. Both of these options would hopefully allow me to maintain my sobriety while at the same time, afford me the ability to still take care of my animals, run the business, keep the bills paid and other responsabilities. In fact, I would really be greatful if someone here (or many people here) could tell me how to home detox as well as how they did it because although not recommended by most, it would be a start and you have to begin somewhere. In other words, it could take some time to see my doctor, locate a rehab, get myself all signed up and checked in, etc and right now it's the weekend and I DO NOT want to drink between now and the time I do this so home detox would be ideal for me - at least until I can get squared away.

Need4Change

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi Need,

If you don't want to go to rehab, which I feel from your post would be the best thing for you since you are finding it hard to find any tools to do it on your own, would you at least give AA another try? The only thing that you have to do is have a desire to stop drinking..you would get lots of support, face to face. There are meetings ALL THE TIME. It would get you out of the house and at least give you a reprieve for an hour..

Just think about it. I didn't want to go to AA but it saved my life.

Karen

Jomey

Hey Need - If you are going to rehab, and want specifics about the "routine", you can PM me. (I have not gone to rehab myself, but I supported two very dear family members through it in the last five years, both at separate places, so I kinda am familiar with the basic drill.)

If you are not going to rehab, at least get to the doc. and I say, by all means, go to AA even just to tide you over until you can get some tools working at home. I am going to AA, but I am not overly thrilled with it all the time, and I don't believe that everybody needs it to quit. But, it seems like you are having a really hard go of it, and it might ease your mind and soul just to sit and hold hands with someone who knows your struggle, even if you don't say a word. I don't know of anywhere else where you can get that except AA. Food for thought.

Keep strong! J

Rusty Zipper

need4 dang you ask a lot of questions... thats a good thing, now for the answers ya need to hear, just not might like..

1- How did you detox at home?

the old fashioned way!

2- What was your "program"?

A.A.

3- What types of drugs did you take during your home detox (ie; benzos to prevent seizures, D. tremens, Naltrexone, etc)?.

NONE!!!

now, need4, this is how it went down...

hit the abysy of alcoholism, wanted to die, and if i didnt do it, my alcoholism was soon to do it!

readers digest version...

wound up in the rooms of A.A.

got a sponser, was stil drinking, he said, you have to get a clean day! ugh!

i thought life couldnt go on without "ME"... my business!... ppfftt!

so i decided to House Cow it...

no doc, no meds, no nothing, and yes, i knew i could die from DT's, Seizures, a Heart Attack, or have Brain Damage... and if any of my friends are reading... No Comment please!

so need for, you might say, i was as willing, as only the dieing could be...

to spare you the play by play... thats someware else on this board...

what i can tell you is, if ya can get in a rehab/program, do yourself a big favor...

bottom line, it was the worst 10 days, and the best ten days of my life on this earth...

bad, It Sucked!!!

good, i pray on it every morning what i went through, and its my daily reminder of why i do what i do to keep on living sober...

hope that answers your questions...

xxoo, blessings, and recovery...

rz