Hope

I am dealing with my family for Thanksgiving. It is a very stressful thing dealing with these people.

I would gain nothing by 'running' and not facing my problems.

But it is sooo hard...

Aysha

Youll be OK.
Just reamin focused and dont use and make the best of it.
Remember it is a day to be thankful. If not with your family. Be thankful for being alive. And that you can do it sober.
I wish you luck.
I hope it goes ok for you.

Dee74

wish you luck Don't let them grind you down...stay tough.

You're running away line got me tho - I'm thinking strongly about not going home for Xmas (no thanksgiving here LOL)...I don't see it as running away...I see it as doing the best thing for me....?

D

Anna

I agree with Dee!

I try to do what is right for me now and that's what works. I tried to get the 'shoulds' out of my life.

I hope your Thanksgiving goes well.

lostmdboy

I know your Pain. Wish I could go to sleep, and wake up and it all would be over.

gypsytears

Growing and doing the right thing aren't always easy.

calfritch

hi hope - i am dealing with the exact thing. a lot of my family are supportive of my sobriety but some are still big drinkers who are not supportive so my plan is to steer clear of them and stick around the supportive side so we will see how it goes. good luck and stay strong

cmc

When I am with difficult people, I try to keep them distracted or at least keep myself distracted from the chaos around them. Remember too, that it's just one day and you can do anything for just one day. I hope it won't be as rough as you're expecting it to be. Maybe you'll be surprised to find that it turns into a nice visit.

I used to keep a small piece of paper in my purse with some slogans and good 'replies' to people who say and do things that are hurtful:
"I'll need to think about that."
"That's an interesting idea."
"Oh."
"Don't you just love the holidays?" and...the piece de resistance.....
"Maybe you're right." This one is a real jaw dropper and usually shuts them down real fast as they take the bait to stoke the old ego!

Of course you can always try to visualize everyone there wearing red clown noses! Except you.

Rowan

Hey Cheryl,

I hope that you have access to a computer during Thanksgiving - I remember many a christmas and Thanksgiving logging on here to gain some support while surrounded by boozy relatives.
I always brought my own car and phone numbers, too.
You're strong in your recovery - remember that. Take care of you and don't forget to check in. We love you

kelsh

Most of my family is gone so that shows you how old I am. My youngest daughter, her husband, and our Tyler will have dinner with us.

My son that is a quadraplegic still can't get to our house on holidays since the local bus doesn't run then. So his teenage sons are spending the day with him and plan to cook a turkey dinner.

I am ready for holidays to disappear out of my life after all these years. But the holidays are for the kids and grandkids now...only shop for grandkids that aren't married. So that is three of the seven.

kelsh

Hope

I will continually check in and keep reading these words of encouragement as I get through tomorrow.

My family is so insanely dysfuntional that it's crazy but my goal is to deal with everyone and maintain my serenity.

I'm grateful to be alive, sober, and for the amazing friends that are in my life.

I am thankful.

I love you all and will keep checking in!

Jersey Nonny

I don't know exactly what you're having to deal with...since most families are a bit dysfunctional, whether alcoholic or not.

For a few years now, I haven't been able to have all three of my kids in the same room, let alone together for holidays. It's because my daughter, who is in NA recovery, avoids my younger son because he's still drinking and smoking pot. Only because my older son is now clean and sober nine months has she invited him to spend today with her family.

It used to hurt not having all of them together, until I realized she was putting her sobriety above everything else and I was able to accept that. If, at any time, your sobriety would be in jeopardy, you can always love your family from a safe distance.

Hope

I just wanted to give you an update.

Wow, I can't believe how great things went with my family!

I'm in awe.

My uncle was a total jerk today but he stayed in his room all day. There was only a minor confrontation between him and my mom but he just got mad and slammed the door but stayed away the rest of the day. He refused to eat since he's so mad at her.

At least no fist fights or cops this year.

I'm grateful.

I had a great meal with the family and it was great.

Also, it's so amazing. I was completely sober this year. I did not sneak vodka throughout the day.

Being sober rocks.

Dee74

(((Cheryl)))

D