how many friends do you have?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
how many friends do you have?
I was just reading some statistics on friendships. In the western world 25% of people have 2 friends. 19% have 1 friend. and 10% have no friends (or it was something like that anyway) so as I've been told alcoholism is "the lonley dieases" I would like to ask how many friends do you have?
I have 2 or 3 (kinda) friends who live locally. 4 or 5 who live on the other side of the world. I have maybe 5 acquaintances who live locally. And I have a handful of internet friends. And of course I have all of you!
I have 2 or 3 (kinda) friends who live locally. 4 or 5 who live on the other side of the world. I have maybe 5 acquaintances who live locally. And I have a handful of internet friends. And of course I have all of you!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Aldo - well, I have 2 true friends, but many more that I have pushed away with my inconsistency. You know, you promise to call & then you're too sick/hungover/tired to bother and the time passes and you lose that friend. They think you don't care, probably not realizing what a mess you are inside. It is a lonely disease, especially in the later stages, where we build a wall around ourselves.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
I am blessed to have four "forever" friends, and a few that I am going to hold on to as long as I can, I believe, when it comes to friendship.....quality over quantity is the way to go!!!
Cathy
Cathy
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
I have only two "forever" friends: One I've known since I was six, the other from high school. But I have countless more online friends who have supported me through really hard times.
No AA
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 259
I like that term forever friends. I have 3. One in NC I haven't talked to in a couple of years....we've known each other since grade school. One who lives around here-just talked to her this past weekend after not for quite a few months...we used to barhop back in the younger days. One in FL-we yak on the phone at least once every 2wks...she's someone who just came back into my life after many years.
The reason why I know these are forever friends is that no matter how much time has gone by when we do get together it's like not a minute has passed. They are good people to me. They make me laugh.
I know a lot of people....but to call someone up to go out with...well that's a hard one. It is a lonely disease and I've always run around by myself most of my life. I think mostly a lot of the time because I've been single a lot and am now. But also I'm one of those people that I like being around other people but afterwards I need time to recharge. Lots of people drain me. My alone time is real important in that way.
The reason why I know these are forever friends is that no matter how much time has gone by when we do get together it's like not a minute has passed. They are good people to me. They make me laugh.
I know a lot of people....but to call someone up to go out with...well that's a hard one. It is a lonely disease and I've always run around by myself most of my life. I think mostly a lot of the time because I've been single a lot and am now. But also I'm one of those people that I like being around other people but afterwards I need time to recharge. Lots of people drain me. My alone time is real important in that way.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
During my life the friends have changed many times.
People meet...grow close...
move apart in distance and interest
..new friends come along.
I have none left from my school days or my Army wife days.
None from my flying or business or young mother times.
3 of my closest friends of over 25 years have died
I still have my best friend, 900 miles away.
We do speak weekly try to visit yearly in person.
Soo..these days I have 1 forever friend.
Down from 4....
Of course I have a countless AA friends
with recovery as a solid base for mutual interest.
That works really well for me!
People meet...grow close...
move apart in distance and interest
..new friends come along.
I have none left from my school days or my Army wife days.
None from my flying or business or young mother times.
3 of my closest friends of over 25 years have died
I still have my best friend, 900 miles away.
We do speak weekly try to visit yearly in person.
Soo..these days I have 1 forever friend.
Down from 4....
Of course I have a countless AA friends
with recovery as a solid base for mutual interest.
That works really well for me!
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
This is a good thread!
As for me, well..lets see. One forever friend, born two weeks apart. She's on the west coast, I'm on the east, but whenever we talk (could be months or it's been years in between) it's like I last saw her yesterday. I know if it was 4 in the morning, I could call and she would talk to me, if I needed her. I consider her my sister.
Two friends from high school. See them every few months or so to catch up..
One neighborhood friend..we have dinner once a week.
I have a lovely group of women friends, bout 12 of us, we hang out every couple of months. Nice group of couples there..my lesbian friends lol.
And, last but not least, my very bestest friend in the whole world..my partner, A.
Oh, also a few good guy friends who I mostly chat with and we bitch bout stuff together.
I am blessed!
xoxo
K
As for me, well..lets see. One forever friend, born two weeks apart. She's on the west coast, I'm on the east, but whenever we talk (could be months or it's been years in between) it's like I last saw her yesterday. I know if it was 4 in the morning, I could call and she would talk to me, if I needed her. I consider her my sister.
Two friends from high school. See them every few months or so to catch up..
One neighborhood friend..we have dinner once a week.
I have a lovely group of women friends, bout 12 of us, we hang out every couple of months. Nice group of couples there..my lesbian friends lol.
And, last but not least, my very bestest friend in the whole world..my partner, A.
Oh, also a few good guy friends who I mostly chat with and we bitch bout stuff together.
I am blessed!
xoxo
K
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Merlot, It's so true that once you have that bond it doesn't matter how often you talk or see each other, it's like you never were apart once you do connect again. Doesn't happen often in a lifetime, though.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm with Carol on this.
I had the pleasure of being an air-force wife for 22 years, having countless moves and i met some wonderful people but it's just not possible to keep up with them as time goes by.
I also have lost 2 forever friends in the last few years, both of whom died at young ages. So, I have two forever friends, but only 1 is nearby.
I used to feel hurt when I had a really good friendship going and then something would end it. I would wonder if I had not been a good enough friend, not attentive enough, or too attentive...but I now believe people come into your life for a reason, and most of them don't stay long-term but that doesn't diminish the value of the friendship they brought us at the time. In military life your friends are your family, but you have to move on.
I had the pleasure of being an air-force wife for 22 years, having countless moves and i met some wonderful people but it's just not possible to keep up with them as time goes by.
I also have lost 2 forever friends in the last few years, both of whom died at young ages. So, I have two forever friends, but only 1 is nearby.
I used to feel hurt when I had a really good friendship going and then something would end it. I would wonder if I had not been a good enough friend, not attentive enough, or too attentive...but I now believe people come into your life for a reason, and most of them don't stay long-term but that doesn't diminish the value of the friendship they brought us at the time. In military life your friends are your family, but you have to move on.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
When I was out there, I didn't trust anyone...I wouldn't let anyone get close to me...The friends I did have I lost through my intended isolation, screening my telephone calls and hiding in my bedroom..Today I have learned to trust again in sobriety and I am making new friends...:morning .
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Tough question, I have several friends, but not real friends like I had years ago before I threw them away to where I could drink more.
Today I have brothers & sisters who I owe my life to, and if I need them they are but a phone call away.
Today I have brothers & sisters who I owe my life to, and if I need them they are but a phone call away.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 302
I have 2 great friends in my roommates even though i dont see them often and then i have a few select that i go hang out with. but like most of us i don't have as many as i did when i was using. i am now trying to reconnect with some. and then i have my great family that i can call anytime i need them. thanks Aldo....great thread!!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I dont have any friends here in NY.
I have 2 I know are down with me for life in Florida. My best friend since 7th grade and yes my sprouty headed buddy James who was my rollie when I was in the streets. No matter what.. Using or not he would always be there for me.
But thats about it.
Pretty sad really. I dont even have any aquaintances here.
I have my family...And is enough for me right now.
But lately I have been finding myself getting lonely and actually wanting to find a person to date. I am getting lonely.
I thought I wanted to stay single for a really long time. But I have been seeing people on tv..out in public..and even some of my family who all have someone to be with. Not even sexually. Thats not an issue. I guess i am a pitiful lonesom person. And it feels like I will never find anyone.
Sorry yall. Just a little down today.
I have 2 I know are down with me for life in Florida. My best friend since 7th grade and yes my sprouty headed buddy James who was my rollie when I was in the streets. No matter what.. Using or not he would always be there for me.
But thats about it.
Pretty sad really. I dont even have any aquaintances here.
I have my family...And is enough for me right now.
But lately I have been finding myself getting lonely and actually wanting to find a person to date. I am getting lonely.
I thought I wanted to stay single for a really long time. But I have been seeing people on tv..out in public..and even some of my family who all have someone to be with. Not even sexually. Thats not an issue. I guess i am a pitiful lonesom person. And it feels like I will never find anyone.
Sorry yall. Just a little down today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
I have a few friends, lots of aquaintances, two best friends. They are true friends. And then my new GF is starting to move to the top of the list. She is a true friend. Sadly, I dont think I was ever with a woman before who was also my best friend. Dont think I've ever been with anyone like this girl. She's one in a million.
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