Thinking of drinking
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
thank you for the honest post. it really made me think. i've had my moments in sobriety where i questioned whether or not i was alcoholic myself. i never liked to get drunk, but you dont have to get drunk to be alcoholic. you just have to have an allergic reaction that triggers a phenonemon of craving (which i do for drugs). so i am, without a doubt, alcoholic.
coming up on 22 months and i the thought of drinking stillcrosses my mind. like someone else stated, the obsession has been lifted a long time ago. but the split second thought still happens now and again.
anyways i have alot going on my personal life....new girlfriend....new sponsee....and i dont know what direction im headed in. love is a scary thing for me. im afraid of getting hurt. so i need to stick close to AA right now more than ever.
coming up on 22 months and i the thought of drinking stillcrosses my mind. like someone else stated, the obsession has been lifted a long time ago. but the split second thought still happens now and again.
anyways i have alot going on my personal life....new girlfriend....new sponsee....and i dont know what direction im headed in. love is a scary thing for me. im afraid of getting hurt. so i need to stick close to AA right now more than ever.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Des Plaines,IL
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by Saxony 
Well I am not going to drink today.
Originally Posted by Saxony
I don't think I do want to drink, not really
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
I tried the moderation thing also and I found myself having to force myself to drink less and I could do it when I had to but I didnt like it and I found myself obssessing over alcohol on a daily basis and I also was doing the same w/xanax which I was addicted to and now dont or let me say afraid to take xanax again cause I was so strung out I had to take 2mg every 5 hours just to feel normal and had to drink about 3 beers every 3-4 hours to feel normal cause if I didnt I would start shaking which is what made me decide to check myself into detox about 4 months ago. If you think you are an alcoholic and trying to use moderation and you have had legal, family, job-related or relationship problems you are an alcoholic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
Thank you all so much for your responses it really does mean a lot to me. I am not going to try moderation, like so many of you have said it will only lead me back to where I was or worse. I know that really, it's kind of obvious to me today. If I could drink normally I wouldn't have had to quit in the first place. I think my addict was looking for a way in and it almost found it.
If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have sat there yesterday trying to work out what and how much to buy so I wouldn't be to hungover. These are not the thoughts of a "normal" drinker, especially when the minimum I know I would have drank is a bottle of wine. I don't even like wine! I just know that I can function the next day after a bottle, I also know that if I only drank one bottle the craving would be there, what I don't know is whether I would have got more after the first one. Besides that, I am pretty sure "normal" drinkers don't drink the whole bottle lol. I can see all that today, but for some reason it eluded me yesterday.
Anyway I am so grateful for your advive and the fact I did not pick up yesterday, my toddler is teething and was awake alot of the night and one of my other daughters woke up at 6.30 with an upset tummy, so I have only had about 4 hours sleep, yet I feel good, I don't think I would be saying that if I had tried moderation
Sax
If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have sat there yesterday trying to work out what and how much to buy so I wouldn't be to hungover. These are not the thoughts of a "normal" drinker, especially when the minimum I know I would have drank is a bottle of wine. I don't even like wine! I just know that I can function the next day after a bottle, I also know that if I only drank one bottle the craving would be there, what I don't know is whether I would have got more after the first one. Besides that, I am pretty sure "normal" drinkers don't drink the whole bottle lol. I can see all that today, but for some reason it eluded me yesterday.
Anyway I am so grateful for your advive and the fact I did not pick up yesterday, my toddler is teething and was awake alot of the night and one of my other daughters woke up at 6.30 with an upset tummy, so I have only had about 4 hours sleep, yet I feel good, I don't think I would be saying that if I had tried moderation
Sax
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
This is right out of the 4th edition Pg419
When I focus on the bad, I have a bad day. When I focus on the good, I have a good day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases. When I focus on an answer, the answer increases.
I don't know if you got anything out of that, or if it helps with your desire to drink. I read it a lot and it usually helps me come up with an answer of some sort.
When I focus on the bad, I have a bad day. When I focus on the good, I have a good day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases. When I focus on an answer, the answer increases.
I don't know if you got anything out of that, or if it helps with your desire to drink. I read it a lot and it usually helps me come up with an answer of some sort.
for working so hard.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Originally Posted by Saxony
Thank you all so much for your responses it really does mean a lot to me. I am not going to try moderation, like so many of you have said it will only lead me back to where I was or worse. I know that really, it's kind of obvious to me today. If I could drink normally I wouldn't have had to quit in the first place. I think my addict was looking for a way in and it almost found it.
If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have sat there yesterday trying to work out what and how much to buy so I wouldn't be to hungover. These are not the thoughts of a "normal" drinker, especially when the minimum I know I would have drank is a bottle of wine. I don't even like wine! I just know that I can function the next day after a bottle, I also know that if I only drank one bottle the craving would be there, what I don't know is whether I would have got more after the first one. Besides that, I am pretty sure "normal" drinkers don't drink the whole bottle lol. I can see all that today, but for some reason it eluded me yesterday.
Anyway I am so grateful for your advice and the fact I did not pick up yesterday, my toddler is teething and was awake alot of the night and one of my other daughters woke up at 6.30 with an upset tummy, so I have only had about 4 hours sleep, yet I feel good, I don't think I would be saying that if I had tried moderation
Sax
If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have sat there yesterday trying to work out what and how much to buy so I wouldn't be to hungover. These are not the thoughts of a "normal" drinker, especially when the minimum I know I would have drank is a bottle of wine. I don't even like wine! I just know that I can function the next day after a bottle, I also know that if I only drank one bottle the craving would be there, what I don't know is whether I would have got more after the first one. Besides that, I am pretty sure "normal" drinkers don't drink the whole bottle lol. I can see all that today, but for some reason it eluded me yesterday.
Anyway I am so grateful for your advice and the fact I did not pick up yesterday, my toddler is teething and was awake alot of the night and one of my other daughters woke up at 6.30 with an upset tummy, so I have only had about 4 hours sleep, yet I feel good, I don't think I would be saying that if I had tried moderation
Sax
You said it all, right there Sax. Well done.
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