odaat

More reasurrance needed!

I'm about to start working through the steps with my Sponsor, and I'm pretty nervous.

This feels like a huge step. I've been ill for a long time (9 out of my 20 years) and I'm scared about recovery.

I don't know why. Feeling how I feel now is all I've known, and I'm scared about what recovery will feel like. I'm scared of getting back to 'normal' and then loosing it all. I'm scared of changing and it all going wrong.

Is it normal to feel like this?

Anna

Yes, I think it is normal. Us addicts have learned to cope with life by escaping and we are now faced with the reality that we will have to deal with everything without anything to numb our feelings. And, it's very scary.

But, it's also very worthwhile and you can do this!

Rowan

Working the steps is a huge endeavour, but it's also a very worthy one.

Fear of anything new is normal. Trust the process, odaat. Working and living the steps has added a lot of positivity to my sobriety.

Jersey Nonny

As a wise man once said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself."

Remember, this is a life-long process...you don't have to do every step perfectly the first time around (except, of course, for the first three). You'll do just fine...have faith in yourself, your sponsor, your higher power. After all, fear is an absence of faith.

Good luck on a good AA housecleaning.

Pinkcuda

Substitute the word "Friend" wherever you use "Sponsor".

Jersey Nonny

Don't get that, since odaat referred to "sponsor". Personally, I have many "friends" with whom I wouldn't share some of the things I'd share with an AA sponsor. Probably the other way around too...there are things I'll share with a good friend that are really none of my sponsor's business.

SaTiT

"the Longest short walk of my life"

Step out of our comfortzone won't feel too comfortable.
With every step we step away from the familar, the more
things becomes less familar. Our mind and boby will resist
changes or growth becuase it has gotten comfortable

Courage is not without fears...
how do you get courage if you think you don't have courage ?
Step forward inspite of of our fears...no matter what.

Embrass your fears, welcome it..and fear will run away. After all , it
is fear.

Our ego mind ( small mind ) is our lower mind. it is a small part of
our consicousness. Do not deny it. Accept it so it may serve us.
The ego is our basic servival instinks. Fears of a piosonist rattle
snake is not a bad thing to have.

However sometimes our basic instinks have gone hay wired..as the BB
say. Our ego mind stands into front of our greater awearness or in front
of the light casing a big shadow over our vision.

You can do a little simple excersize so that it might help you
Light a candle, set a small object in front of the light...
notice how the small object cast a big shadow blocking lights.
Our ego works in the very same way. Generating these types of fears...(delusions)
False evidents appearing rear. why ???
the ego is afraid to loose control..becuase the ego is made of fear.
it has it's purpose...to serve us, not control us.
Accept it, don't fight it (stop fighting yourself)
Your are the master..command it..it just takes practice..that's all.
it's not going to relingish power so easily.lol
Just be assertive and love it. it will become your allie.

JC has shown us a way...he simply made a direct command..lol


mmm..you know... that's why the old timer say...
keep those windows clean..lol

Pinkcuda

I didn't say to substitute the person, I said to substitute the word. The point was to say that I was going to start working the steps with my "Friend".

barb dwyer

*encouragement* :support you can do it, ODAAT!!!!

We're rootin for ya
(meant in the USA way, of course)
because we care!!!!

I figure - tell everybody everything -
nobody ever believes ya anyhow - LOL

hope3

I'm starting the steps too. We can do it...

I'm going to look at it one day at a time...

Whats the worst thing that can happen, yes,

we can recover, and then maybe relapse, (NOT).

But as long as we get back up on that horse...

we cannot and never will be a failure...

hope3

Jersey Nonny

I guess I've always made the distinction between friend and sponsor, in that I consider my sponsor an acquaintance rather than a "friend". No matter...the step says, "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." For many of us, that can mean a priest, minister, rabbi, etc...or, even a therapist.

Doug

Normal? Yes.

Worth it? Absolutely.

There's a tremendous freedom that comes with each step you work, it's something you can't explain, and you can't feel any other way. And once you start, you'll feel it's well worth the effort.

You're still not alone, good luck!

dopelesshope

Its normal but there isnt much difference between fear and excitement. The body reacts the same, it's just we embrace excitement and fear fear. Use the fear by understanding that it's there to make you more alert and sharp.

Bravery is simply doing it in spite of the fear,
There is nothing you have done that someone here hasn't done twice as bad.
There isn't a sick thought you have had that someone here hasn't thought of as well, or even acted on.

Your in recovery - you didn't get here by being a saint or a poster boy for life. Your here because, like me, your a f'up. No one who is truly recovering will judge you by what brought you here. We are only concerned with recovering from active addiction and learning how to live life on life's terms.

You will be fine. Your higher power loves and forgives you. You have a new life and the power you need to change is within you today. Stay positive and look at how far you have come and have faith in the program.