anxiety is turning me into an overweight couch potato
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
anxiety is turning me into an overweight couch potato
Okay I have embraced the whole surrender thing. life seems simpler and i spend much less time worrying about everything and more time on cleaning up the wreckage I have become. I am feeling kinda stuck.
I am thinking the next obvious step would be to get to a meetting. Even though i might not be down with all the principles of the programs Im sure I will be able to get something out of them even if it just means meeting some new people that dont use.
anxiety and slight paranoia is keeping me in the house almost all the time. I do manage to get to work, but that is about it. Just going to a store to pick up a few things seems like an impossible task. I have only one friend right now that i hang with and i want to meet new people, but I feel like a prisoner.
My butt cheeks are imprinted into the couch. The damn thing is starting to look severely uneven. I suppose I should change up sides once in awhile, but I guess that must be just too much change for me.
I have been contemplating taking something non addictive to see if it helps, but I have been waiting to see if it subsides on its own. you know maybe its just because I am only clean a short time. I dont know. I do know I am sick of sitting here in front of the tv almost my entire day and night. Sleeping, when I can do it is like the most exciting part of my life most of the time.
When I do finally get myself to go somewhere I have serious meltdowns.
I can see this as a problem that might cause me to drink or go back on the pills. Gotta go somewhere have a drink, pop a pill and out I went. without even thinking twice.
sorry to be so long winded, but I have 70 days in and I am really hoping to make it to 90 so on and so on. Does anyone have any suggestions or similiar experiences that might help me get through this?
I am thinking the next obvious step would be to get to a meetting. Even though i might not be down with all the principles of the programs Im sure I will be able to get something out of them even if it just means meeting some new people that dont use.
anxiety and slight paranoia is keeping me in the house almost all the time. I do manage to get to work, but that is about it. Just going to a store to pick up a few things seems like an impossible task. I have only one friend right now that i hang with and i want to meet new people, but I feel like a prisoner.
My butt cheeks are imprinted into the couch. The damn thing is starting to look severely uneven. I suppose I should change up sides once in awhile, but I guess that must be just too much change for me.
I have been contemplating taking something non addictive to see if it helps, but I have been waiting to see if it subsides on its own. you know maybe its just because I am only clean a short time. I dont know. I do know I am sick of sitting here in front of the tv almost my entire day and night. Sleeping, when I can do it is like the most exciting part of my life most of the time.
When I do finally get myself to go somewhere I have serious meltdowns.
I can see this as a problem that might cause me to drink or go back on the pills. Gotta go somewhere have a drink, pop a pill and out I went. without even thinking twice.
sorry to be so long winded, but I have 70 days in and I am really hoping to make it to 90 so on and so on. Does anyone have any suggestions or similiar experiences that might help me get through this?
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
You could go for a walk bfree4you 
. You can do that alone, doesn't require any special equipment and it'll give you some exercise and fresh air. Both good things for the mind as well. 70 days is great... 90 will be better. Just get off the couch and get moving around a bit... you can do it.
. You can do that alone, doesn't require any special equipment and it'll give you some exercise and fresh air. Both good things for the mind as well. 70 days is great... 90 will be better. Just get off the couch and get moving around a bit... you can do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
The only way I get through it is...get through it...try to get out each day...somewhere.
what about ramping up the music side of things Beth? or is that risky what with those pesky no good muso drug types ?
D
what about ramping up the music side of things Beth? or is that risky what with those pesky no good muso drug types ?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 69
Make yourself a project, albeit a small one. Make one today, then two tomorrow, and so on and so on.
Start with something like:
In the next hour, I am going to straighten up the kitchen utility drawer.
By the end of the day, I am going to organize my closet.
Today, my goal is to organize and clean my desk.
I will spend an hour going through the newspaper and on-line coupons and organize a healthy, inexpensive, healthy trip to the grocery.
I will go to the book store and find my favorite childhood book.
Today, I will walk four blocks.
I will call a friend I haven't seen in a long time and go to a movie tonight.
I will go to the art museum for two hours.
I will go hit range balls at the golf course, even though I am not a golfer.
I will sign up for a cooking class (you can find them for free in most cities at upscale places that sell kitchen equipment), even if I can't cook.
I will hand-write a letter to a parent or grandparent instead of calling them on my cell-phone.
I will go to the park with a blanket and a snack and read a book.
My ex suffered from depression, and this is what we did. If she finished the day with one little project done, she felt like she could take on another project the next day.
I hope this helps.
Start with something like:
In the next hour, I am going to straighten up the kitchen utility drawer.
By the end of the day, I am going to organize my closet.
Today, my goal is to organize and clean my desk.
I will spend an hour going through the newspaper and on-line coupons and organize a healthy, inexpensive, healthy trip to the grocery.
I will go to the book store and find my favorite childhood book.
Today, I will walk four blocks.
I will call a friend I haven't seen in a long time and go to a movie tonight.
I will go to the art museum for two hours.
I will go hit range balls at the golf course, even though I am not a golfer.
I will sign up for a cooking class (you can find them for free in most cities at upscale places that sell kitchen equipment), even if I can't cook.
I will hand-write a letter to a parent or grandparent instead of calling them on my cell-phone.
I will go to the park with a blanket and a snack and read a book.
My ex suffered from depression, and this is what we did. If she finished the day with one little project done, she felt like she could take on another project the next day.
I hope this helps.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I hope that your anxiety subsides and I know how difficult it can be. I have come to the conclusion that I have a certain level of anxiety and I have to live with it. Hopefully, you can get to a point where you feel more comfortable.
I totally agree with the idea of going for a walk. That's what I started doing when I first started recovery and it's a really good idea. It gets you outside of your home, getting some fresh air and exercise and seeing other people, even if you don't connect with them. It's a start in beginning to move forward.
I totally agree with the idea of going for a walk. That's what I started doing when I first started recovery and it's a really good idea. It gets you outside of your home, getting some fresh air and exercise and seeing other people, even if you don't connect with them. It's a start in beginning to move forward.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Yea D always thinking about playing for more ears than just mine and my cats. Hes a very attentive audience, but he never claps much. Im not sure whats up with that. I need to hear the clapping.
you know how us musicians can be. We can be a wild buch and I dont think thats the best environment for me. Last band I audtioned for had coke out. oops there I slipped again.
For now i have to stick with the theater in the hospital. I dont know I suppose I could start doing the hospital circuit. No reason I need to limit myself to one. Maybe i can start playing for seniors also. That will make quite a diversified playlist. Puff the magic dragon to mack the knife and the alley cat.
empty cartridge the project list is a good idea. Ive been doing something similiar. I go through the local paper to find weekly events make a list and I try to go to as many as possible even if it is for an hour. Some weeks I dont get anything done, but in those not so freaked out moments I do get myself to go to a few. I will try some of your suggestions. I use to ride my bike alot, but havent at all lately. Riding is better than walking for me. Less chance of having to talk to someone. oh man I really have to get out of the isolation booth.
you know how us musicians can be. We can be a wild buch and I dont think thats the best environment for me. Last band I audtioned for had coke out. oops there I slipped again.
For now i have to stick with the theater in the hospital. I dont know I suppose I could start doing the hospital circuit. No reason I need to limit myself to one. Maybe i can start playing for seniors also. That will make quite a diversified playlist. Puff the magic dragon to mack the knife and the alley cat.
empty cartridge the project list is a good idea. Ive been doing something similiar. I go through the local paper to find weekly events make a list and I try to go to as many as possible even if it is for an hour. Some weeks I dont get anything done, but in those not so freaked out moments I do get myself to go to a few. I will try some of your suggestions. I use to ride my bike alot, but havent at all lately. Riding is better than walking for me. Less chance of having to talk to someone. oh man I really have to get out of the isolation booth.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Originally Posted by bfree4u 
Yea D always thinking about playing for more ears than just mine and my cats. Hes a very attentive audience, but he never claps much. Im not sure whats up with that. I need to hear the clapping.
you know how us musicians can be. We can be a wild buch and I dont think thats the best environment for me. Last band I audtioned for had coke out. oops there I slipped again.
For now i have to stick with the theater in the hospital. I dont know I suppose I could start doing the hospital circuit. No reason I need to limit myself to one. Maybe i can start playing for seniors also. That will make quite a diversified playlist. Puff the magic dragon to mack the knife and the alley cat.
LOL. Just don't use Beth...and everything else will find its level. I really believe that.
D
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Im going to buy the tux tommarrow, and I told the cat no one is too cool to make someone feel better so he better start clapping. he admitted that although he cant clap he can in his own words do the soft paw purr appreciation dance. I asked him why he never does it for me and he told me hes too embarrassed and it gives him anxiety. Go figure. I guess the nut doesnt fall to far from the tree.
I have 70 days clean, but I have been under self imposed lock down and I think I still dont fully trust myself so I am afraid to leave the safe zone. Yeah Im clean now, but how will I fair in the real world?
I have 70 days clean, but I have been under self imposed lock down and I think I still dont fully trust myself so I am afraid to leave the safe zone. Yeah Im clean now, but how will I fair in the real world?
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
Wish I could be more helpful, but all I can tell you is ... I know exactly how you feel. I'm five months clean, still really don't do much. Starting to look for a job, actually went to an interview earlier in the week, but ... no dice.
Oh well. I try not to beat myself up too much about my lack of motivation and slight fear of returning 2 normal life. I'm sure it's going to pass. Don't forget we did a number on ourselves ... When I get down I try to think of it like 'what if i'd been in a car wreck and spent the last three years in a coma' ... would I be putting this much pressure on myself after 5 months? Of course not. Well, I think it's arguably a decent analogy.
Recovery takes time. Long as you stay clean, everything's eventually going to be ... how it's meant to be ...
Oh well. I try not to beat myself up too much about my lack of motivation and slight fear of returning 2 normal life. I'm sure it's going to pass. Don't forget we did a number on ourselves ... When I get down I try to think of it like 'what if i'd been in a car wreck and spent the last three years in a coma' ... would I be putting this much pressure on myself after 5 months? Of course not. Well, I think it's arguably a decent analogy.
Recovery takes time. Long as you stay clean, everything's eventually going to be ... how it's meant to be ...
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
Posts: 500
Hi, I had the same problem and just in the past 3 weeks to a month have I felt like doing anything, except I have used a couple times dinking and a couple days taking xanax, but if I hadnt used it would be 108 days for me today, I dont know how it works if you use a couple times and then go back to sobriety I was told in outpatient that unless you go on a full blown drunk or drugging that it doesnt count as a relapse, anyway for the longest time all I wanted to do was watch tv also , I didnt want to do anything, I only did the things I had to do and if I had to go anywhere it seemed like I would have panic attacks just trying to get in my car and drive and like you my favorite part of the day was when I could finally get to sleep which took forever but once I got to sleep I would sleep for 10-12 hrs partly to to meds I took at night (seroquel) anyway I slowly started doing more things like walking around the neighborhood, looking for a job, cutting the grass, visiting neighbors and family. So it does get easier. Hope you feel better soon.
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Harwich, MA
Posts: 2,747
I really like EmptyCartridge's idea. I love the list thing, because as you do it, you get to cross it off and there's a lot of satisfaction to me in that. (I love lists)
Empty, the funny thing is, I have a lot of depression too, and if my husband had suggested that I probably would have decked him because he was not being "feely" enough. When I read it here, though, I see that practical really works.
Free, have you seen a psychiatrist or a therapist? You may get a lot out of that also.
Empty, the funny thing is, I have a lot of depression too, and if my husband had suggested that I probably would have decked him because he was not being "feely" enough. When I read it here, though, I see that practical really works.
Free, have you seen a psychiatrist or a therapist? You may get a lot out of that also.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
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Posts: 1,314
need2b. What you went through is exactly where Im at. Excatly and its getting frustrating. To be sober is great, but not like this. I want to get out and live. Thats why I decided to quit in the first place. I wanted more out of life and now im doing less than before. I have spoken to my counselor about this and I go toonight. im sure she will want me to see the shrink, but I was trying to see if maybe this is just a temporary thing before I start taking anymore drugs. Its looking like I might not be able to wait.
I feel like drinking today just so I can get out. I didnt have work today and im teired of tv and reading so I just slept all day. I would still be sleeping if I didnt have to go to counseling. I am depressed anxious and in alot of pain today. I wont drink though, im just feeling icky today.
When im tires or sick I am usually much more vulnerable. I guess I should just rest if thats how Im feeling. Im just afraid im gonna let myself fall into the depressed state I fall into evry once in awhile. If I fall into that funk I will never get out.
I feel like drinking today just so I can get out. I didnt have work today and im teired of tv and reading so I just slept all day. I would still be sleeping if I didnt have to go to counseling. I am depressed anxious and in alot of pain today. I wont drink though, im just feeling icky today.
When im tires or sick I am usually much more vulnerable. I guess I should just rest if thats how Im feeling. Im just afraid im gonna let myself fall into the depressed state I fall into evry once in awhile. If I fall into that funk I will never get out.
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