BaldHeadedJohn

Hi all.
I was around a while ago, and managed to get about 2 months or so together.

Well, guess what I've been doing...

It started out like it always has in the past, just 'a few beers' in the evening. Then a few more the next day, and before I really knew it, I was starting to drink at 10AM on Saturday and not finishing until 11PM Sunday. And on the weekdays from the monment I get home till the moment I pass out. For about 2 months or so now.

I'm here at work with my hands sweating and shaking, my gut in all sorts of commotion.

There's no more thinking about it. I'm an alcoholic and cannot drink any more, any amount, for any reason. I'm done.

Thanks for listening.

Rowan

Welcome back BHJ. Will you be going back to meetings?

BaldHeadedJohn

Yes. I've been attending a few here and there, hoping to hear some magical words that I could really relate to, only to come home to a fridge full of beer.
Go figure, huh?

Budd

Congratulations on your decision to quit drinking. I hope you have a great sober life.

Rowan

Time for 90 and 90 and get a sponsor, what do you think? Sounds like a good start to me. Oh - and get rid of the beer!
You can do this John.

BaldHeadedJohn

I have a bit of trouble with sponsorship, Rowan. I practice an alternative religion, and have had a difficult time in trying to find a person with similar a belief system. I've been in and out of AA for a few years now, and honestly love the people, the fellowship, and the support. There are just certain parts of the 12 steps that (the way they are written) go against the grain, so to speak.

Rowan

I remember reading about your alternative religion, John, and I understand that you would ideally like someone with the same beliefs, but a sponsor is there to help you work through the Steps, and don't have to be of the same faith.
As far as the Steps go, they are suggestions only, as you know.
It sounds as though the good outweighs the bad with regards to your experience in AA, so why not do as they say and take what you need - and leave the rest?
Just a thought.

BaldHeadedJohn

That's a good idea. Lately I have come across a few women that I believe can relate, but I've been hesitant about this opposite-sex sponsor rule that seems to be prevalent. This may seem a bit strange, but at the meetings I can relate a bit more to women than men. The ladies seem to have a softer, more spiritual approach to life.

Rowan

It's not a rule, exactly, John, it's more of a suggestion based on experience. Having said that, I know a few peeps who sponsor or are sponsored by the opposite sex. It takes a certain type of person to be able to do this. If this would help you to get reconnected with the program, then why not? You can always try it out.
Whatever it takes.

BigSis

My friend is buddhist, and in my small town, she may as well have been martian! What an amazing thing, tho - she was at a conference and was approached by another woman who mentioned that she shared her religion.

Talk about the universe answering a need!

Perhaps you can put it out to the universe... that you wish to find someone who shares your belief system to help walk you through the program?

For me, the only "higher power" I had when I first joined was the group. I figured it had worked for millions over the course of decades... and if I can believe in the power of Weight Watchers, I could certainly believe in the power of a 12-step program.

I wish you the best, John. And send prayers that you find exactly what you need... exactly when you need it most.


((hugs))

parentrecovers

it's really good to see you back! support to you, k

Rob B

Fellowship and support is good stuff, however it is not the material that produces the psychic change necessary to recover from alcoholism. The steps do that. Don't let the word "God" throw you. It really depends on how ready and willing you are, can you challenge your belief systems, can you get over bias? Are you willing to set aside everything you think you know about AA, yourself, the steps, God? Are you willing to trust a recovered alcoholic who has done this work and knows exactly how it works.If you are poweless over alcohol, which it sounds like you are admitting, AA offers a program of recovery that is broad and roomy. The quicker the steps are worked, the quicker you will recover and be able to help others who are still suffering, this is where life takes on new meaning.I wish you well on your journey and hope you find your truth.

whittenboy

Welcome back BHJ
Get rid of the BEER
Get back up, Dust yourself off and take another step. This time in the right direction.
We are here for you!
Keep posting

BaldHeadedJohn

The fridge is empty now. I checked this morning!
I'm gonna do my shopping then get to my Fri nite meeting.

Thanks to you all.

Rowan

Keep posting, John, and stick around this time!

Glad you're going to a meeting tonight. Never give up.

kelsh

Hi John,

I haven't met you before but am glad you found your way back so soon. I quit for one year and then started drinking again and didn't find my way back for 14 years.

I have Spiritality within my heart for my HP. It took me a while to find my way through this step. I feel the love within me for myself and others. :praying

Glad you are going to a meeting...each one gets easier and pretty soon they grow on you and you are hooked in with some wonderful sober people. :comfort

The best of luck,

kelsh

tanyapmc

Let us know how the meeting goes. I am glad your here. Please keep posting.

paulmh

Welcome back. Glad to hear you're going to meetings. I used to believe that I was terrifically open-minded and free thinking but it turns out that I was simply a bigot. It's more important that I get and live sober, and feel happy and content, than that I maintain a delusion that I'm somehow "right" about the universe. I started off by admitting that I didn't know how to get sober, and I handed myelf over to the care and instruction of people who I could see DID know. Lo and behold I then began to find outr just how much I didn't know.

Missymae737

Hi John,

I am so glad you made it back to us...Not everyone gets that opportunity to come back...

It looks like you are DONE with life in addiction, that is active addiction..

Please keep posting, we need you as much as you need us...

Thinking of you...:comfort

BaldHeadedJohn

Hi all.
The meeting went well. The topic was "change".

Didn't say much, but did talk to a few folks before the meeting started.

My boys are here now, playing in their room. The ex asked if I was serious this time. I told the truth... I've been serious every time.

I took the advice of taking what I needed and leaving the rest... What I'm taking today is that maybe sobriety really is just a day a time. That's what most folks said.

Thanks again for all your encouragement. The sweating and shaking has gone for the most part. I'll check in tomorrow sometime. Don't know when. I'm expecting a call from the plumber, and with dial-up, I gotta keep the phone line open.

Brightest blessings all.

BHJ