Surlyredhead

......I have found that there are certain traits that I still have from my drinking days, one in particular. Before I went into treatment, I was homeless, stayed where ever I could, shelters, strangers couches, where ever I could find to sleep...my belongings (and myself) were never safe, most of my "stuff" was stolen or given away. Some was left behind when I had to go somewhere else. I moved 19 times in the two years before treatment...when I went in, I had one bag and one small box of stuff to my name. After I completed treatment, I stayed and worked for a bed and food for almost a year and a half....until I got pregnant. I was then assigned a small apartment where the government paid all but 30% of what I was getting. It took me three years to even put up curtains, because I thought the apartment was somehow going to be taken from me.....fast forward a few 24 hrs. Things are different now, I have a job and a home, and a healthy, happy 12 year old Son. Here is the kicker......I am very territorial about my "space"....it burns my biscuits when anyone touches or "borrows" my stuff without my permission, I mean even a pen off of my desk!!! I would give almost anything away, if asked...but come into MY space and touch MY stuff...I could kick some serious a**!!! I mean WTF.....sheesh, will I ever get over that. I have worked so hard for my sobriety and what little stuff I have.....I suppose I need to keep coming!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...Cathy

CarolD

...Cathy

I think you have reasoned out this situation extremely well
Kudos and Blessings

Impurrfect

Cathy -

I totally understand!!! I'm still at the point where I don't have much of anything, but I'm pretty possessive of what I DO have (even though I will pretty much give you anything if you ask for it).

I was laughing about the pen on the desk part. I always have a pen with purple ink in it at work, and I will let someone use it, but will hunt them down until they give it back!! Guess I've got a long way to go, too.

Hugs and prayers!!

Amy

kelsh

My husband and I have the same pen problem. He puts his down wherever he is doing something then accuses me of taking it. Day before yesterday I found about six of his pens (certain style so he knows they are for sure his) on his end table and the kitchen table and I had one of mine on my end table.

I still have problems with buying stuff for just me! After raising 5 children, being alcoholic, and on a very limited budget at the end of my drinking, I find it hard to buy me anything. My husband will bring me a catalog and pick stuff out he thinks I might like and if I do he will order it for me on his credit card.

He says the money is all ours when ever I object....his retirement is almost double of mine....and Social Security too. When we got re-married we kept our separate checking accounts and savings....actually, it works good for us that way. We divide up the necessary bills and pay our own car insurance and tabs.

Life is good sober!!!

kelsh

St_Kurt

This can happen on the other side too.

I grew up with alcoholic parents. They were constantly taking my belongings and losing them. When they misplaced their things, they blamed me for stealing them.

In fact, they the time I was in high school they were sure I was a crazed juvenille delinquent who would steal anything that wasn't nailed down and a liar as well (but what was really happening was they were forgetting our conversations).

I used to keep a notebook with records everytime they gave me permission do something so I didn't get grounded for not asking permission when I got home. I also put a lock on my bedroom door so of course they were sure I was hiding drugs in there. The reality was that I was in the top 10 to graduate my highschool class. I didn't have a boyfriend, drink or do drugs, but they were always walking around mumbling things like "What ARE were going to do about you? Why can't you be good like all the other kids?"

To this day, if I'm not paying attention I start falling back on the old behaviors from growing up: I still own almost nothing (I was so used to having stuff taken or having to take off for a few days with nothing but a change of clothes that I never got attached to having things), and if I'm stressed or tired will return to the habit of saying things to people 6 or 7 times to make sure they "got it".

I do the pen thing too. Are you sure it's evidence of left over alcoholic behaviors? I know lots of people who are weird about their pens and school supplies. I like to draw in my sparetime and my favorite pen for notetaking/drawing is a really old fountain pen. It's not like I can go get another so I keep track of it.

~SK

barb dwyer

yeah. either pens or lighters.

and I"m not as territorial as I used to be ... not here at this job anyhow.

but then ... I'm in recovery - LOL

good topic surly - I love your posts.

Doug

Your honesty is great Cathy, thank you.

Experts (?) say a habit is created when we as adults do something 21 times over, fairly close together. You moved 19 times in a short span of time. Close enough.

Unfortunately, it seems to take more work to undo them, though new ones can be made trying the 21 times rule.

indigo

yep pen's for definate.

Rusty Zipper

cath, boundries... and their different for everyone...

they may stay the same, or come to change with time...

for the now, hold on to that pen!

or have a old back up if the touch'y/feel'y type are around! lol

good wishes red...

love, rusty