5 Months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4
5 Months
Let me introduce myself, I am 27 years old with 2 kids and one on the way. I have been drinking since I was 14 years old. My father/uncles (both sides of the family) are all alcoholics.
I have been sober for 5 months now, I stopped drinking once before a few years back for (3 months total).
The difference between now and then is, back then I knew one day soon I would drink again. I think I stopped because my wife/family asked me to. This time around, I stopped drinking on my own to get healthier (gained 60 pounds since Highschool) and to set a good example for my kids. BTW, I have lost around 35 pounds within 5 months by working out and eating right.
So...my question/statement is....It feels extremely easy NOT to drink now, I have no desire to drink now....BUT!! I still think about alcohol everyday. I know I dont want to drink but I feel like alcohol is in my blood in some way. Its very frustrating. When will this feeling go away!!??
I dont think I need to go to AA because like I said, I have no urge to drink. Also, I dont know why but I feel a resentment towards people that still drink, is this some form of me wishing I still could drink with them? Jealousy? I dont know. All of my friends say I am very distant from them. My friends are NOT party animals per say, just normal people with families that like to drink on weekends. I have basically refused to hang out with them anymore because being around them while they are drunk is hard for me.
I have been sober for 5 months now, I stopped drinking once before a few years back for (3 months total).
The difference between now and then is, back then I knew one day soon I would drink again. I think I stopped because my wife/family asked me to. This time around, I stopped drinking on my own to get healthier (gained 60 pounds since Highschool) and to set a good example for my kids. BTW, I have lost around 35 pounds within 5 months by working out and eating right.
So...my question/statement is....It feels extremely easy NOT to drink now, I have no desire to drink now....BUT!! I still think about alcohol everyday. I know I dont want to drink but I feel like alcohol is in my blood in some way. Its very frustrating. When will this feeling go away!!??
I dont think I need to go to AA because like I said, I have no urge to drink. Also, I dont know why but I feel a resentment towards people that still drink, is this some form of me wishing I still could drink with them? Jealousy? I dont know. All of my friends say I am very distant from them. My friends are NOT party animals per say, just normal people with families that like to drink on weekends. I have basically refused to hang out with them anymore because being around them while they are drunk is hard for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Xtra. Welcome to the site!!
That's so great to be sober 5 months. I have 90 days coming up on Thursday.
If it is hard for you to be around people drinking and you are thinking about alcohol everyday, you might find AA interesting. I found that it works to take those harde thoughts away from me and the resentment is leaving me.
Also, I found that trying to stay stopped was my problem. In the end, I had to want it for myself. I couldn't do it for other people.
AA is a good place to start to understand the physical effects of alcohol. A good way to check if it might help you is to order and read the Big Book of AA. Also, there is a sticky thread at the top of the forum with exerpts from "Under the Influence". I really recommend you start by reading that.
You are not alone in those feelings. I have them too.
That's so great to be sober 5 months. I have 90 days coming up on Thursday.
If it is hard for you to be around people drinking and you are thinking about alcohol everyday, you might find AA interesting. I found that it works to take those harde thoughts away from me and the resentment is leaving me.
Also, I found that trying to stay stopped was my problem. In the end, I had to want it for myself. I couldn't do it for other people.
AA is a good place to start to understand the physical effects of alcohol. A good way to check if it might help you is to order and read the Big Book of AA. Also, there is a sticky thread at the top of the forum with exerpts from "Under the Influence". I really recommend you start by reading that.
You are not alone in those feelings. I have them too.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi....
Here is the link to the info Pilgrim mentioned
I too recommend it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Wow! You are off to a good start
AA will keep you in focus
and it's a good place to meet non drinkers.
We share the same goals and we do understand.
Welcome to SR!
Here is the link to the info Pilgrim mentioned
I too recommend it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Wow! You are off to a good start
AA will keep you in focus
and it's a good place to meet non drinkers.
We share the same goals and we do understand.
Welcome to SR!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think if you're obsessing about alcohol and resentful and jealous of your friends who drink, you'd be a fool to ignore that...
whether or not you need AA is a matter for you, but I'd urge you to do something, even if it's only reading a book like Under the Influence, which Carol and Steph pointed to excerpts from, which seems to be fairly universally highly regarded (haven't read it myself but then I don't go to AA either...cantankerous alkie...go figure! )
whether or not you need AA is a matter for you, but I'd urge you to do something, even if it's only reading a book like Under the Influence, which Carol and Steph pointed to excerpts from, which seems to be fairly universally highly regarded (haven't read it myself but then I don't go to AA either...cantankerous alkie...go figure!
)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Just to claify ...
Under the Influence is not AA.
It's a "handbook" on alcoholism.
The text book of AA is clled
"Alcoholics Anonymous"
and it's also full of useful information.
Both have been vital to my recovery.
Under the Influence is not AA.
It's a "handbook" on alcoholism.
The text book of AA is clled
"Alcoholics Anonymous"
and it's also full of useful information.
Both have been vital to my recovery.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Sorry if I made that a little unclear, Carol
Xtrasober, Under the Influence is not an AA text but, judging by the number of recommendations it gets, I'd say it's still a useful book.
I *have* read 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (the so called Big Book) and I'd agree it has its useful sections too.
D
Xtrasober, Under the Influence is not an AA text but, judging by the number of recommendations it gets, I'd say it's still a useful book.
I *have* read 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (the so called Big Book) and I'd agree it has its useful sections too.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: birmingham
Posts: 29
i too found things much easier than i thought they would be, well i thought they would be impossible, my aa sponsor doesnt say as much but i think he feels it's just a matter of time till i drink again, i stopped going to aa after i had done my step3. i still see the guy because he is a great man.
i think the important thing is we are all wired differently. i didnt stop drinking when i was told, on 3 occasions i had weeks to live.
i don't know if i am doing things 'the correct way' i too think about drinking every hour of every day, i also dream about it most nights.
in 2 months time i will be sober for 2 years. but the thing for me is at the age of 39, with the everyday problems we all have and a very stressfull job, i really know i have many many drinks left in me, but i also really know i dont have a recovery left in me i nearly died stopping last time, and i had my first clean bill of health last week, so it took my battered organs nearly 2 years to recover at the age of 37.
there is an aa saying 'i got sick and tired of being sick and tired' well i did! and this is what i told my a concerned friend in a letter, about a year ago and it is so true (for this alcoholic:
"why do you worry so much, i have been suffering from an insane complusion for most of my life. many years ago sitting in a flat or my car the feeling i got when the first drink kicked in was heavenly it made me everything i wanted to be. You as many others walked away as this compulsion consumed me and became my downfall in many ways.
the later years of my drinking had become very cloudy, i was becoming everything i hate in a person, in the end i was a wreck unwashed sitting in an uncared flat, crying cutting myself, hating myself for not having the courage to end it all.
the pleasant feeling of the first drink (maybe the only part of drinking i ever enjoyed) had long gone, the first drink was usually taken over a toilet as i tried to force it into a body which was wrecked and tired from it. this was my life?
sobrierty was hell for a while, i didnt really crave drink i just craved something. i was worried that when i felt well again i would pick up another drink, but why would i? my mind plays tricks on me but it will never take the pain drink caused me away, and that will keep me dry"
i think that sort of said it all really, you are younger than myself, and possible didn't reach the levels i had, 5 months is great, everyday i pray nobody goes the the place drink took me to. it happened so quickly, first a man who had a drink problem, next day a living hell, it takes you by surprise and you are too pissed to care. i think i know what my hp is, i believe it's the memory of my father, that stopped me drinking. and what keeps me sober is me, because over the last 18 months i have realised im not so bad after all i still take things a day at a time, but i have my life back.
what im saying, i suppose is, it is very much a progressive illness, it will never get better, it kills you after stripping you of everything, you are beating it, keep up the good work.
i think the important thing is we are all wired differently. i didnt stop drinking when i was told, on 3 occasions i had weeks to live.
i don't know if i am doing things 'the correct way' i too think about drinking every hour of every day, i also dream about it most nights.
in 2 months time i will be sober for 2 years. but the thing for me is at the age of 39, with the everyday problems we all have and a very stressfull job, i really know i have many many drinks left in me, but i also really know i dont have a recovery left in me i nearly died stopping last time, and i had my first clean bill of health last week, so it took my battered organs nearly 2 years to recover at the age of 37.
there is an aa saying 'i got sick and tired of being sick and tired' well i did! and this is what i told my a concerned friend in a letter, about a year ago and it is so true (for this alcoholic:
"why do you worry so much, i have been suffering from an insane complusion for most of my life. many years ago sitting in a flat or my car the feeling i got when the first drink kicked in was heavenly it made me everything i wanted to be. You as many others walked away as this compulsion consumed me and became my downfall in many ways.
the later years of my drinking had become very cloudy, i was becoming everything i hate in a person, in the end i was a wreck unwashed sitting in an uncared flat, crying cutting myself, hating myself for not having the courage to end it all.
the pleasant feeling of the first drink (maybe the only part of drinking i ever enjoyed) had long gone, the first drink was usually taken over a toilet as i tried to force it into a body which was wrecked and tired from it. this was my life?
sobrierty was hell for a while, i didnt really crave drink i just craved something. i was worried that when i felt well again i would pick up another drink, but why would i? my mind plays tricks on me but it will never take the pain drink caused me away, and that will keep me dry"
i think that sort of said it all really, you are younger than myself, and possible didn't reach the levels i had, 5 months is great, everyday i pray nobody goes the the place drink took me to. it happened so quickly, first a man who had a drink problem, next day a living hell, it takes you by surprise and you are too pissed to care. i think i know what my hp is, i believe it's the memory of my father, that stopped me drinking. and what keeps me sober is me, because over the last 18 months i have realised im not so bad after all
i still take things a day at a time, but i have my life back.what im saying, i suppose is, it is very much a progressive illness, it will never get better, it kills you after stripping you of everything, you are beating it, keep up the good work.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: brandon man, canada
Posts: 258
Wow 5 months is a long time to go without drinking you should feel very happy about that.long time ago i thought i didnt need A.A too and i did it for a while and then fell off again for the thousandth time,anyway good for you on not wanting to drink thats good but please maybe start going to AA it does help to get alot of other things out of your system to and besides alot of times you help the other person out that is struggleing more then you do yourself and it feels great...
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Great on the 5 months!
As Carol suggested, the book "Under the Influence" is excellent, as is the updated version "Beyond the Influence".
They do an amazing job of explaining the permanent physical changes that occur in the brain and on the cellular level of the body with prolonged exposure to alcohol.
It is not AA literature, rather it is a well researched work on the medical mechanisms of addiction.
As far as I am concerned, anyone who is interested in addiction should get a copy and Read it!
As Carol suggested, the book "Under the Influence" is excellent, as is the updated version "Beyond the Influence".
They do an amazing job of explaining the permanent physical changes that occur in the brain and on the cellular level of the body with prolonged exposure to alcohol.
It is not AA literature, rather it is a well researched work on the medical mechanisms of addiction.
As far as I am concerned, anyone who is interested in addiction should get a copy and Read it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4
I have a question for all of you that have stopped drinking. Is it ever ok to have a drink again? I mean, it seems like the entire world drinks but us. I would hate to think I cant enjoy a drink or two on a special occasion ever again without going back to drinking everyday. How wrong am I?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Originally Posted by xtrasober 
I have a question for all of you that have stopped drinking. Is it ever ok to have a drink again? I mean, it seems like the entire world drinks but us. I would hate to think I cant enjoy a drink or two on a special occasion ever again without going back to drinking everyday. How wrong am I?
I can't have 'just one or two'.
It destroyed my life and ruined my health. Why would I want to go back ?
Why would you ?
you sound like you've got some thinking to do, xtrasober....
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
The changes in the body and mind of an alcoholic are permanent.
I know that I can never safely have a drink again. One drink and that would set off a chain reaction and lead me back into the hell hole that I once called my life.
It only seems like everyone drinks. But the truth is that everyone does not drink. There are huge numbers of people out there who live their lives without a drink. Just because we are unable to drink doesn't mean that we are destined for a crummy life. There's so much more to life than alcohol. In actuality if you think about it, what does it enhance? The perception of what it does is highly overrated.
We don't need alcohol to live a fulfilling and wonderful life.
I am alcohol free today and I enjoy my life. You just have to find stuff that you enjoy that doesn't involve picking up a drink. A sober life will reward you a thousand times over.
I know that I can never safely have a drink again. One drink and that would set off a chain reaction and lead me back into the hell hole that I once called my life.
It only seems like everyone drinks. But the truth is that everyone does not drink. There are huge numbers of people out there who live their lives without a drink. Just because we are unable to drink doesn't mean that we are destined for a crummy life. There's so much more to life than alcohol. In actuality if you think about it, what does it enhance? The perception of what it does is highly overrated.
We don't need alcohol to live a fulfilling and wonderful life.
I am alcohol free today and I enjoy my life. You just have to find stuff that you enjoy that doesn't involve picking up a drink. A sober life will reward you a thousand times over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Dee74
I don't know your story- but the effect alcohol has on me doesn't change..it never will.
I can't have 'just one or two'.
It destroyed my life and ruined my health. Why would I want to go back ?
Why would you ?
you sound like you've got some thinking to do, xtrasober....
D
I can't have 'just one or two'.
It destroyed my life and ruined my health. Why would I want to go back ?
Why would you ?
you sound like you've got some thinking to do, xtrasober....
D
To be perfectly honest, the sober journey sounds Soooo dificult. I dont know if I want to always have that on my back, staying sober that is. It just seems like drinking makes the whole thing alot easier?
I am definitely a "one thousand is not enough" kind of drinker and thats why I stopped. Drinking has caused problems in my life, i.e. car accidents, marriage issues etc. But it has never caused hell per say.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi xtra.
Life can be so much better if you give recovery a chance (and I am not talking about just stopping without a programme).
One drink? I never understood that concept. Well some days I could but I could never tell which day - no matter what I had promised to do instead.
Oh - and drinking and driving is not a good idea ever. In fact - just don't do it please. Hell is only a drink away from you if you hit someone else (not to mention the family of the someone else).
Life can be so much better if you give recovery a chance (and I am not talking about just stopping without a programme).
One drink? I never understood that concept. Well some days I could but I could never tell which day - no matter what I had promised to do instead.
Oh - and drinking and driving is not a good idea ever. In fact - just don't do it please. Hell is only a drink away from you if you hit someone else (not to mention the family of the someone else).
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