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11 months sober, everything else going wrong!

Old 10-25-2007, 08:28 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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You can go to a hospital! 4 times in 2 weeks can lead to another 8 times in the next 4 weeks! I really feel you should not wait that long. In addition someone in aa is great for handling ALCOHOL related issues, they are not qualified to help you in regards to harming yourself!
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:37 AM
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11 months!!! That is awsome!

Only problem is, it always happens at night, when its too late to phone people :-/
Hon did you know that if some one calls me at 2AM they are helping me stay sober? Trade places with the person you want to call and ask your self this:

"Would I be mad or hang up on someone who called me because they had a serious problem they needed to talk to me about?"

I know how you would answer that question, the same way I would, "No I would not hang up or get mad on some one who needed me!"

The phone call would remind me just how important AA unity is to my sobriety and every one elses. Remember hearing it said that "We will love you until you learn to love your self."? We do not hang up or get mad if some one we loves calls us because they need help.

Now if some one called me and said "Dude, I got drunk and just got my car stuck in a ditch." do you know the first thing I would say? "Why didn't you call me before that first drink?".

Please forgive me if I step out of line, but you need to get some profesional help. ASAP! You problems are not just alcohol related, they are bigger than that. You state that you have harmed yourself 4 times in 2 weeks....please seek outside help...you can get well...you can do this, but not alone.
I am going to join up with bugs on stepping out of line, you need to call them back and tell them you need to see some one NOW!!!!
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:37 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bugsworth View Post
You can go to a hospital! 4 times in 2 weeks can lead to another 8 times in the next 4 weeks! I really feel you should not wait that long. In addition someone in aa is great for handling ALCOHOL related issues, they are not qualified to help you in regards to harming yourself!
There is no point going to hospital - I've been before and ended up waiting for six hours. Ended up walking out as they said they had no idea how long it would be, or if I'd ever get to see anyone.

I don't think that my GP can refer me to anyone else. I'm seeing the Occupational Therapist about something unrelated next week, and I'll mention it to her and see if she has any advice.

There just doesn't seem to be anyone who can help or who understands with this issue, which makes it very hard. I can get by 'okay' with support for my other problems, but without support I don't seem to manage.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
I am going to join up with bugs on stepping out of line, you need to call them back and tell them you need to see some one NOW!!!!
I just phoned the Occupational Therapist (who I think is the person I'm suppose to talk to - I don't know) and she isn't in.

They have already given me an emergency appointment (in one month), so they are unlikely to be able to give me an appointment any time sooner.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:45 AM
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Who cares if there is a wait? You need to be seen by a doctor. While this forum keeps you in touch with people thru out the day, it will not provide you the help you need late at night. You have nothing to lose by going to a hospital and asking for help, it shows your conviction and strength, your committment to getting well. You need to do this for yourself!
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by bugsworth View Post
Who cares if there is a wait? You need to be seen by a doctor. While this forum keeps you in touch with people thru out the day, it will not provide you the help you need late at night. You have nothing to lose by going to a hospital and asking for help, it shows your conviction and strength, your committment to getting well. You need to do this for yourself!
Unfortunately, with a National Health Service, seeing a doctor isn't as easy as it is when you have private insurance. I've got to make do with the help on offer.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:52 AM
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While I don't know anything about the National Health Service, I do know that regardless of weather it is "easy" is not the point. I know that sounds a bit harsh, and I am sorry, but it is necessary for you to get help.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by bugsworth View Post
While I don't know anything about the National Health Service, I do know that regardless of weather it is "easy" is not the point. I know that sounds a bit harsh, and I am sorry, but it is necessary for you to get help.
I've tried the begging approach to get help, and they didn't respond well to that. Just my experience of health care proffessionals!

I'm finally getting somewhere with Doctors and I don't want to mess it up by annoying them. My last GP got very annoyed at me for going to A&E and said I shouldn't, so I don't want to do that again.

I know it sounds a bit weird, but that is how I've found things. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but they really don't want to help! Don't want to give them any excuse for saying that I'm just attention seeking and don't deserve help.

If there are any other suggestions for where I can get help, I'd be very greatful. A&E isn't the place really, its not an accident, and its not an emergency. I've been trying to find some sort of 12 step support, but no luck yet.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:58 AM
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Put as much effort into getting help with this as you have in getting and staying sober, as long as you are not nasty there is nothing wrong with pushing for mental health help!
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Old 10-25-2007, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Put as much effort into getting help with this as you have in getting and staying sober, as long as you are not nasty there is nothing wrong with pushing for mental health help!
Once I get some therapy who my self-esteem issues, I'll be able to ask/demand/push for more help. Until then, the disapointment/refusal is likely to make things worse.
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Old 10-25-2007, 09:01 AM
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i really struggled around 11 months too for some reason. it was almost like i looked so forward to getting a year for so long...that when it became obvious i was going to get it...it was like a let down. when i hit the year mark i was elated. this second year has been up and down. but everything is so much better than it used to be. keep plugging away! congrats on 11 months! thats a long time without a drink.
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Old 10-25-2007, 09:15 AM
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I respect you decision, whatever that may be. Keep in touch with anyone from aa that you can and stay close to the boards. People here really care about you and want to see you well.
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Old 10-25-2007, 11:04 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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i understand the fear of phoning people at night when things seem to always be at the worst for some reason- im a night owl and im always awake late- if i had the coverage for free phone to england i would help you out- i have free calling in the USA but i dont think it works for england- im sorry that you are going thru this and at a remarkable time ELEVEN MONTHS of sobriety is alot to be proud of!!!!! i agree with the poster that said we replace addictions with other things- and i agree with everyones advice on a counselor- it seems to be a deep seeded issue to want to self harm but i understand- any addiction is self harming in its own way- hang in there stay strong come on here when you feel like harming yourself im usually on here when everyone else is catching their Z's (sleeping) you can PM me anytime, or even mail me ill talk to you thru things online if that helps at all!!!!!

hugs
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Old 10-26-2007, 11:09 AM
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Hey odaat you ok? Would love to know you are still hanging tough.
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:17 PM
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Still hanging in there. Spoke to my temp sponsor today and cried the whole time and didn't real feel that her suggestions were the right things for me to do. Spoke to my Mum afterwards which helped a little - as she knows me much more, she was able to suggest things that were more suitable. My temp lady said I need to get out every day, which is too big a step for me at the moment and plus I don't have anywhere to go or anything to do, and wouldn't enjoy it. Mum suggested that as its company that I want, I should try talking to more people and say I'm looking for company.

I've not drank, eaten or self-harmed, so I'm doing okay. Still feel pretty rough, but I'm assured that that is normal. Just hope it gets better. I'm struggling to believe that a higher power can restore me to sanity - it just feels hopeless at the moment.
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:23 PM
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Odaat,

There is always hope and you're doing great.

I hope that you find peace.
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:33 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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And to make me feel ever more childish and stupid, I've got a crush on someone. Sounds so stupid really, but I just hate having emotions, I don't want to have a crush on someone, I don't want everything, argh. I don't want to have to leave one of my favourite meetings over something so silly.
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Old 10-26-2007, 03:07 PM
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I had a crush at 9 months. I got over it. Her and I are still good friends.

That's one of the pitfalls of romance in the rooms. If it goes south, what do you do when you go to a meeting and "He or She" is there ?

As far as the emotions. I'm getting used to them. I accept that they are just feelings, and not always based on fact. I let them wash over me, and don't try to elude them. If it gets real bad, I'll call another alkie, my sponsor, or pray. (Or all three)
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Old 10-26-2007, 03:09 PM
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Congratulations on your 11 Months! That's really good. Keep on going!
I've seen a few other people say they harm themselves on here. You're not alone. I also experimented with some self-harm one night when I was very drunk.
Maybe you could be able to start a new section in the forum with those of us with that problem.
Take care.
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Old 10-26-2007, 03:52 PM
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Good to see you here odaat! One day at a time...baby steps. Keep up the good work!
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