Multiple Addictions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9
Multiple Addictions
I can't believe I am on a Sober Recovery Forum either...it seems as though a lot of people on here are addicted to alcohol. I find myself addicted to many different substances/behaviours. I truly realized this about 3 days ago after sitting in my bedroom with a bottle of wine (chugging it) and 2 beers hidden under my comforter in case my parents walked in.
I have been to my doctor regarding what I thought was an obsessive eating disorder and although we did a few sessions talking about it i could never follow through with giving everything up. I am always addicted to something (food,spending money,alcohol or marijuana). I know my addictions proabably arent as severe as some people;s but i guess it is sever enough that i am here. I drink in my room alone when my parents are in bed...i drank in my then apartment when my boyfriend wasnt home and i do the same with smoking weed. And the eating is just a byproduct of these but sometimes i can be sober and just eat and eat and eat until i feel so full i want to vomit (but never had..although i;ve tried)
This has ruined 3 of the most important relationships in my life (my first boyfriend, my best friend, and now my live in boyfriend whom i left 2 months ago). I think i have figured out what happens...things get so bad, i get so bad, with the drinking and the smoking and theeating and the lying that i start to hurt people and try to blame it on them. I left my live in boyfriend because it got to the point where i would go out and get drunk and then come home and things would be fine for a bit then i would find something to set me off and i completely verbally abused him. He begged me to stop drinking...i said i would made promises and then obviously would last no more than a week and would blame everything on him.
I left him and now I need him. I feel like he;s the only one i can tell this secret to but i feel like i;ve hurt him so much that if i tell him this now he will not be willing to help me or will tell people. (even though just hours ago he told me he still loves me even though he probably shouldnt.) I dont know what to do...sorry this is so long
I have been to my doctor regarding what I thought was an obsessive eating disorder and although we did a few sessions talking about it i could never follow through with giving everything up. I am always addicted to something (food,spending money,alcohol or marijuana). I know my addictions proabably arent as severe as some people;s but i guess it is sever enough that i am here. I drink in my room alone when my parents are in bed...i drank in my then apartment when my boyfriend wasnt home and i do the same with smoking weed. And the eating is just a byproduct of these but sometimes i can be sober and just eat and eat and eat until i feel so full i want to vomit (but never had..although i;ve tried)
This has ruined 3 of the most important relationships in my life (my first boyfriend, my best friend, and now my live in boyfriend whom i left 2 months ago). I think i have figured out what happens...things get so bad, i get so bad, with the drinking and the smoking and theeating and the lying that i start to hurt people and try to blame it on them. I left my live in boyfriend because it got to the point where i would go out and get drunk and then come home and things would be fine for a bit then i would find something to set me off and i completely verbally abused him. He begged me to stop drinking...i said i would made promises and then obviously would last no more than a week and would blame everything on him.
I left him and now I need him. I feel like he;s the only one i can tell this secret to but i feel like i;ve hurt him so much that if i tell him this now he will not be willing to help me or will tell people. (even though just hours ago he told me he still loves me even though he probably shouldnt.) I dont know what to do...sorry this is so long
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 302
hey gracey - welcome, glad you found this place 
i am so sorry to hear what you are going through. the people here are very supportive and have great advice. whether you follow it is obviously up to you but it has helped me a great deal with being an alcoholic. i don't beleive it matters what you are addicted to. addiction is addiction. eventualy, whatever the addiction is it will control you and destroy everything around you. if you can get to a meeting, whether its AA or NA or whichever you would feel comfortable going to, i would suggest it. and maybe your last boyfriend that says he still loves you will be very supportive, you never you know unless you give it a shot. your decision to come here and tell us what you are going through was a big step and very courageous. Anyways, thats my two cents!! I hope we can be of some help to you and that you keep posting your progress. i wish you all the best and please stay strong!!!
i am so sorry to hear what you are going through. the people here are very supportive and have great advice. whether you follow it is obviously up to you but it has helped me a great deal with being an alcoholic. i don't beleive it matters what you are addicted to. addiction is addiction. eventualy, whatever the addiction is it will control you and destroy everything around you. if you can get to a meeting, whether its AA or NA or whichever you would feel comfortable going to, i would suggest it. and maybe your last boyfriend that says he still loves you will be very supportive, you never you know unless you give it a shot. your decision to come here and tell us what you are going through was a big step and very courageous. Anyways, thats my two cents!! I hope we can be of some help to you and that you keep posting your progress. i wish you all the best and please stay strong!!!
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: England
Posts: 357
Nice Gracey, nice to meet you.
I can understand about multiple addictions. I'm battling with three severe addictions - alcohol, food and self-harm. I've also got to watch because I easily slip in to other addictive behaviour with sex, relationships, medication, spending, exercise, cleaning - anything that can change how I feel/think.
I accepted my alcoholism first, and have found AA to be an enormous help to me. I'm unable to get to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, but I've got a lot of the literature and I use a few forums. The 'Eating Disorders' forum here helps me a lot.
I just try and focus on 'one day at a time' and doing the next right thing. It isn't always easy, but I'm glad I'm on the journey to recovery.
Perhaps you could see your Doctor again, and mention how you didn't manage to give everything up but you tried and would like more help?
I can understand about multiple addictions. I'm battling with three severe addictions - alcohol, food and self-harm. I've also got to watch because I easily slip in to other addictive behaviour with sex, relationships, medication, spending, exercise, cleaning - anything that can change how I feel/think.
I accepted my alcoholism first, and have found AA to be an enormous help to me. I'm unable to get to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, but I've got a lot of the literature and I use a few forums. The 'Eating Disorders' forum here helps me a lot.
I just try and focus on 'one day at a time' and doing the next right thing. It isn't always easy, but I'm glad I'm on the journey to recovery.
Perhaps you could see your Doctor again, and mention how you didn't manage to give everything up but you tried and would like more help?
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Worcester
Posts: 789
Most of us are cross-addicted...whatever feels good I want more. The behavioral stuff aside, alcohol and drugs are apt to get you into trouble a lot faster. Focus on sobriety first and the other issues can be addressed later. The steps provide a good guideline for behavioral changes.
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Hi Gracie,
Yes as Mike says I was really addicted to MORE. More booze, more pills, more sex, whatever, just give me more, anything so I don't have to think.
It really does not matter what is abused, it is the mind set that causes the trouble.
Welcome to SR, I am glad you found us.
There are good people here and much good advice.
Just so you know, over-eaters anonymous, cocaine anonymous, Narcotics anonymous, and other "anonymouses" were all based on alcoholics anonymous. I am in AA and I know many there that are recovering from primary addictions other than booze. The feelings, the mental state, the obsession, the loss of control, these seem to be universal among us. I have found hope, strength and recovery in AA as have millions.
Again, welcome to our little corner of the internet.
Ted
Yes as Mike says I was really addicted to MORE. More booze, more pills, more sex, whatever, just give me more, anything so I don't have to think.
It really does not matter what is abused, it is the mind set that causes the trouble.
Welcome to SR, I am glad you found us.
There are good people here and much good advice.
Just so you know, over-eaters anonymous, cocaine anonymous, Narcotics anonymous, and other "anonymouses" were all based on alcoholics anonymous. I am in AA and I know many there that are recovering from primary addictions other than booze. The feelings, the mental state, the obsession, the loss of control, these seem to be universal among us. I have found hope, strength and recovery in AA as have millions.
Again, welcome to our little corner of the internet.
Ted
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Gracey welcome to SR, just my personal take, but as an alcoholic I feel like Groucho/ted, my alcoholism in reality an addiction to more!
Tackle the drinking first, when I went into detox I asked the doctor about quitting smoking at the same time and he said for me to deal with my primary problem first, many of my other issues would go away when the booze went away..... he was right, I recently quit smoking, my life is far better now thanks to AA.
Reach out your hand, be honest and ask for help.
Tackle the drinking first, when I went into detox I asked the doctor about quitting smoking at the same time and he said for me to deal with my primary problem first, many of my other issues would go away when the booze went away..... he was right, I recently quit smoking, my life is far better now thanks to AA.
Reach out your hand, be honest and ask for help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
A walking donut, i can relate.
That deep, dark, emptiness inside of me.
No matter what people, places and things I tired to put in there
didn't work for me.
I would try to numb myself out to fill the viod , but it could never be
filled, that's why I keep doing it becuase that's what I've learned to do.
It also puts me in a course of actions that cause alot of wreakage
and consiquences in my life. But being as i am and throw some
obsessive, complusive, personality in it..whala, chaos. Which adds
more pain, which of course i would want to aviod and numb myself
out again. It keeps me in a cycle as a perfect engine of self dystruction.
I'm awear of these unhealthy behaviors even as i'm doing them sometimes.
I struggle with myself or promise myself that i won't do it again.
but i end up doing it again and again...it drives me crazy.
So how in the heck am i going to love myself when I hate myslef ?
How in the world am i going to belive in god when I hate god and don't
really understand what god is. And most important, how in the hell is
that damn void inside of me going to be removed ?
Strange as it maybe...making coffee for AA or NA brought me peace.
it really has no direct connection. I don't really understand it.
What heck dose moping the floor has anything to do with me
staying clean and sober ? it's okay thou....as long as it works.lol
That deep, dark, emptiness inside of me.
No matter what people, places and things I tired to put in there
didn't work for me.
I would try to numb myself out to fill the viod , but it could never be
filled, that's why I keep doing it becuase that's what I've learned to do.
It also puts me in a course of actions that cause alot of wreakage
and consiquences in my life. But being as i am and throw some
obsessive, complusive, personality in it..whala, chaos. Which adds
more pain, which of course i would want to aviod and numb myself
out again. It keeps me in a cycle as a perfect engine of self dystruction.
I'm awear of these unhealthy behaviors even as i'm doing them sometimes.
I struggle with myself or promise myself that i won't do it again.
but i end up doing it again and again...it drives me crazy.
So how in the heck am i going to love myself when I hate myslef ?
How in the world am i going to belive in god when I hate god and don't
really understand what god is. And most important, how in the hell is
that damn void inside of me going to be removed ?
Strange as it maybe...making coffee for AA or NA brought me peace.
it really has no direct connection. I don't really understand it.
What heck dose moping the floor has anything to do with me
staying clean and sober ? it's okay thou....as long as it works.lol
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