So come I, again, with tail tucked and head low...
 

Hello to all, again. I cannot believe it has been over four months since I have been here. So much has happened. My sobriety took another nose-dive in June, and I have been drinking heavily since. And to add to my self-destruction, I added Oxycodone to my abuse list. I figured one or two a day for my aches and pains of passing years would do no harm. And I kept it at that...however, splashing down two or three beers with it would boost the effect. Well, what the heck, an evening or two of doing three or four won't be bad, would it? After all, I can handle it OK. (Just look how well I handled the alcohol...went for three months without. No problem.)

Well here I sit, going through mild withdrawals and making the commitment to myself (once again) that the booze is out, the pills are out, and getting what was once a priority in my life (freedom from addiction) back as a focus.

Which comes to you, my friends and higher power...I must put energy back into my life. Addiction has no place for me. Instead of slavery, I want to enjoy life as a free man. I hope some of that energy comes from you. The majority of it will rely upon my efforts.

In a brief moment, as soon as I post this, one-hundred and twenty-four Oxycodone
tablets will meet a watery grave. Better they than I. And I have had no alcohol since Sunday evening, so my sober and clean date has begun today. Keep me in your thoughts and wish me well...here I go again.

Peace—
Padraic

I am very glad that you made it back. I missed you round here.

Welcome back.

Got a better plan this time around?

Grouch,
Thanks for the welcome. Yeah, I got a plan...no try, only to do. Going to rely heavily on my Zen teachings, meditations, Yoga, and people like you.

Padraic

Welcome back Padraic, congrats on Day 1 again. Assuming you can make it back there's always room in recovery for you. Have you considered a recovery program, AA or anything else?

Welcome back Creekryder :Meditate:.

UPDATE: At 15:57 CDT, 124 Oxycodone tablets met an untimely demise. Following a substantial fall from their cylindrical housing, all plunged into 65 degree water and were helplessly pulled under the surface by a tremendous vortex that suddenly appeared. All are presumed hopelessly lost. A report of a person pushing a chrome handle just prior to the appearance of the vortex in the water has been received. This person can be identified by the smirk of satisfaction on his face. END

Astro,
Thanks for your concerns. AA is definitely in the picture, as the recovery program, I'll have to do this one on my own (With the help of AA and people like you.)

Welcome Back!!!

So glad you made it. We missed you here.

OK Padraic, just remember to reach out for help if and when you need it. I tried to do it on my own for years, I succeeded with the help of many others.

Hi Padraic!
Welcome back!
It sounds like a courageous deccession you've made, but no doubt a good one. You can do it!
Let us know how you get on.

Hi,

It is so good you made it back to us...

Last time I was out there, I was in a dark spiral of events that nearly took my life...Much worse, I could have killed someone else...

Please stay with us and keep posting

:abcj:

Hi Padraic,

It's good to see you again.

I am glad you are trying again because we can never give up. The disease of addiction never rests and it will always be lurking. I hope you keep reading and posting and let us know how you are doing.

It's been over 24 hours since I last took the Oxycodone. I am sick to my stomach, lethargic, and generally feel like sh**. Since I am in the med field, I am monitoring my vitals and keeping a close watch on the withdrawals. I believe my addiction was in the early to moderate stages, so I hope I can do this w/o intervention. Green tea and rice is staying down and rest helps. I will be in and out this evening, so keep me in your thoughts. Thank you all.

Padraic

Been dope sick. It is pretty horrible. I alternated by being very hot and sweating so much I soaked the sheets, to racking chills that were only made bearable by lying in the bathtub and letting the hot water pound my cramping abdomen. Oh, lots of dry heaving too. I don't recommend it.

I highly recommend "The Zen of Recovery" by Mel Ash and I read "365 Tao" as my morning meditation.

Hang in there, it will get better,

Ted

Hi Padraic,

I remember when you made your departure, and am grateful to see that you made it back to us. I look forward to your posts as you share your experience.

Hi again Padraic...:approve:

Welcome home!

it's about time !:Val004:

hey there padraic - congrats on day 1 and the thoughtfulness of the pills to meet an untimely death....very kind of them!!! i wish you the best of luck in your recovery :)

Well, I'm still alive, although at times tonight, I was unsure. I'm sober, clean, and miserable. I believe I'll call it a day and head for bed. Thanks to all with their good wishes and PM's.
Tomorrow is a wonderful new day...I'll view it with clear eyes.

Peace—
Padraic