Jersey Nonny

When I was about four months "dry"...looking back, I'm reluctant to even call it "sober"...let's just say I quit drinking for four months...I deliberately poured a drink and drank it! It was by no stretch of the imagination a "slip"...I knew what I was doing, and I did it. After getting out of detox, I very humbly asked the secretary of my group to change my sobriety date, and went on from there.

About a month later, just before Christmas, I took a bite of holiday fruitcake. It had been soaked in liquor, and I panicked. I immediately called my sponsor who explained that would not be considered a "relapse", since it was purely accidental and unintentional. On that advice, I did not change my sobriety date.

I hope that clarifies my understanding of the difference between the two.

Jersey Nonny

Here's another example of a hypothetical case for slip vs relapse.

Suppose you're at an affair/out to dinner and pick up or are served someone else's drink by mistake. You take a sip and realize the error. Do you call the wait person over and ask for your correct drink order? Or do you say to yourself, "Hey, that tasted pretty good...might as well finish it...who would know?"

Slip or relapse? I rest my case.

Missymae737

I understand Jersey Nonney...

I just know to many people that minimize a relapse calling it a slip...

I know to many people that minimize their drunk to a slip...

Becoming drunk in my opinion, or having a drink is not accidental...

Oh, and honestly when there were accidents with drinking I have not heard they were slips...I guess terminology is different everywhere.:

ghug3

Pinkcuda

No. Does one sip make you drunk, or were you still sober. I don't see a definitive answer here no matter how you slice it. It is possible to go on a bender after 25 years of sobriety. Suppose someone does. They still have 25 years of sobriety, don't they? 25 years of meetings, helping others with input and 25 years of 12 stepping other drunks and probably saving a few lives along the way. This bender only lasts a month before the subject regains his composure and puts it to rest. Where does that 25 years go?
Answering the original question is ones personal opinion. I say that one sip doesn't do anything. Did you get drunk, did you get a buzz? Did you have an overwhelming desire for more? What was your intent when you took this sip? How often do you have these sips? One sip adds about the same amount of alcohol to your bloodstream as applying aftershave.

Jersey Nonny

The "25 years of sobriety" goes in the bank and serves as a reminder to him and everyone he shares with that it doesn't matter how much "time" you have, you are still vulnerable to the cunning, baffling, powerful, insidiuous nature of the disease.

I have a very good friend who had 15 years of sobriety, went back to drinking for 5 years, and now has 40 years of continuous sobriety. He is very honest when he tells his story, but he certainly doesn't count as having 55 years of sobriety, because it wasn't continuous .

BP44

Slip vs relapse is a moot point. The question is are you a real alcoholic. If you are, then to drink is to die. They don't say this lightly or for drama. When they say this they mean it literally. When I take a drink of alcohol in the first thing to die is my spiritual being, then my emotional and mental being. The last thing is the physical death that will eventually come. Staying connected to the first step and have a real gut level understanding of it is important. You will hear people in the rooms say nonsense like, " I choose not to drink today". For a real alcoholic like myself, I don't have that choice. The choice and decision I have and am able to make is to have a concious contact with God today. It's from that choice that I am able to stay sober today and have an opportunity to make other choices and decisions in a sober day. And it is in step work and working with others that improves that concious contact. I wanted to buy into the notion that by coming into AA that I regained the power of choice in the first drink. And it just isn't so. No more than it would be to gain control. The book tells us that we will have certain times when we are in mental blank spots. I don't know the hour and day that that's going to look like. So, my job is to maintain spiritual fitness. Slip vs Relapse? Simply more delusion.

wiscgirl30

This is just my opinion, but I dont think someone should have to change their sobriety date over one sip of alcohol. I think the good thing is they decided to stop after one sip. They didn't get drunk, they didn't get tipsy. They *chose* not to continue drinking, and that is a good thing, not a bad thing.

If you feel like you are "not telling the whole truth" by not changing your sobriety date, then say "I have been sober since this date, but I did have ONE sip of alcohol on so-and-so date." This is a perfectly honest and okay answer, again, just my opinion.

Jersey Nonny

We always have a choice, BP44. That you and I choose to remain sober is commendable; but, if we didn't welcome back those who failed in their attempt(s) to stay sober, we would be failing in our responsibility.

Quote:

Whenever anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there...and, for that I am responsible.

There is no guarantee that we, ourselves, might not be among those again reaching out for help.

The preamble states

Quote:

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

It doesn't even state that you must stop, only that you have the desire. But, then 'How It Works' goes on to say that, "If you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps."

Quote:

I dont think someone should have to change their sobriety date over one sip of alcohol.

They must do things a lot differently in Wisconsin, because I don't think your suggestion would fly in my neck of the woods.

Quote:

"I have been sober since this date, but I did have ONE sip of alcohol on so-and-so date."

The fact that your hypothetical person *chose* to drink in the first place means they're having trouble getting past the first step.

I once sponsored a gal who could quote you chapter and verse of the Big Book, she had been in the rooms of AA for so many years. But, she never quite got the concept that we stay sober one day at a time, not that we drink one day at a time.

bugsworth

I agree with Jersey, there is always a choice, and I am a "real alcoholic".

I also believe there is no "mental blank spot", if I were to drink again I would be totally aware of my drinking, after all I would have to buy the alcohol, pour it in to a cup, lift it to my mouth, take a drink and swallow it. If I was in a mental black out unaware of my actions, I would have way bigger problems than being an alcoholic. The thought of living my life in fear of "mental blank spots" would be enough to drive me crazy. This notion of complete powerlessness and helplessness is dangerous to the human soul. Maybe it was true for Bill Wilson, it may have been his experience, but it has not been mine, nor do I ever expect to be. Just because something was written down on paper does not make it true.

Slip or relapse....a drink is a drink...what one chooses to call it is as individual as the person themself. How you chooses to handle it and move forward is more important that what we call it.

BP44

Jersey, if it came across as not "welcoming back someone", that was not my intent. The fact of the matter is that when we get here, we are filled with delusion. It takes 40 some odd pages to describe us in the Big Book. That's how smart we are. It takes that much to start to whitle down some of the delusions that we have about alcoholism and our particular drinking career. In my experience, there were three major things that came out of the first step : Loss of control, loss of choice, and I would NEVER drink like a normal person. That coupled with a thorough understanding of unmanageability. If one does not understand the concept of the insanity before the first drink, and that spirtual fitness is the only way to avoid that, then as the big book states, and I'm paraphrasing, sobriety will be precarious if any at all. It goes on to say that he will not know happiness. I had to hear the truth about myself, and for me to parse words or split hairs is dangerous.

Markus1

Well a slip and a relapse CAN be seen as the same thing to the addict, but if the addict is telling the truth then they are not the same. A relapse is the continuation of the same behavior that lead to addiction, and leads right back to it.

A slip or slip up is a momentary lapse in judgement that lead to using a drug or drink, this usually happens after rehab or treatment and it doesn't mean the addict will go back to the same behavior. It's just that the addict is so used to using that they think they HAVE to use the substance, but this only happens momentarily and after they use the substance they don't use it again and again and again, like a relapse.

Dee74

just to let everyone know - this thread is 5 years old

D

NoelleR

Yup, yup, yup, and the rationalizations keep on acomin'....

(o: