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Old 10-16-2007, 09:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Not Sure What To Do


HI TO WHOEVER IS LISTENING,

I AM A SISTER TO A BROTHER WHO'S LIFE IS A MESS.....HE HAS BENN IN 145 AND COUNTING DETOX AND REHAB PROGRAMS....HE GOES IN GETS OUT DRINKS...HE CAN'T STOP HIMSELF SO HE NEEDS TO BE DETOXED.....THEY KNOW HIM SO WELL THEY HAVE ACTUALLY NOT ALLOWED HIM IN A PROGRAM..SAYING BEDS ARE FULL...HE HAS BEEN MUGGED,BEAT UP, STABBED, B.A.L. OF .65..BELIEVE IT....I DON'T KNOW WHAT DO DO ANYMORE...HE IS HOMELESS...HAD A SHELTER WHERE THEY REALLY LIKED HIM GAVE HIM MANY CHANCES....MESSED THEM UP...NOW HE WITH A WOMEN WHO IS ALSO AN ALCOHOLIC AND A DRUG ADDICT AND ,BI-POLAR....SHE STABBED HIM LAST NIGHT...HE WENT TO MY SISTERS AND THIS MORNING BACK TO THE WOMENS HOUSE....I COULD GO ON AND ON...I JUST FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND...

ANY SUGGESTIONS,,,

BOY THIS IS A LONG ONE FOR MY FIRST TIME ON...SORRY 145timesplus:praying
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Old 10-16-2007, 09:38 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I cannot begin to imagine. I don't think there is much more you can do. HE has to want it. Could he be committed against his will? I mean long-term stuff. I am not sure about all the legal aspects maybe someone else here could help with that. He is without a doubt a danger to himself if not others. Hugs to you...I have 2 brothers and love them dearly, so the pain of this must be unbearable.
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Old 10-16-2007, 09:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR...

The reality of your situation is you can't fix your brother, save him, no one can...This is very tragic...Maybe he hasn't hit bottom yet, been through enough pain...

I am saying a prayer for you and your brother...:praying
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Old 10-16-2007, 09:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I HAD HIM SECTIONED 2 TIMES, ITS A 2 WEEK PROGRAM,,,HE JUST GETS OUT AND DOES IT ALL OVER AGAIN,,,I SET UP A 120 DAY PROGRAM FAITH BASED PROGRAM FOR HIM...HE HAD TO BE WILLING TO GO AND HE DID...GOT OUT AND STAYED SOBER FOR 1 MONTH AT MOST AND HAS HAD LITTLE SOBRIETY SINCE THEN......

BUT THINGS GET WORSE MY MOTHER IS 85 AND HE IS HER BEST FRIEND WHEN HES SOBER BUT SHE CAN NOT HANDLE HIM DRINKING ANYMORE,,,,,HE IS NOT ALLOWED AT HER HOUSE ELDERLY HOUSING WON'T ALLOW IT....HES 47, NEVER BEEN MARRIED,NO CHILDREN,,BUT HE IS AT THE POINT WHERE HE FORGETS THINGS,,,HAS BEEN ON PAIN MEDICATION FOR A BROKEN BACK AND 3 RUPTURED DISKS....

I HAVE BEEN THINKING HAVING HIM COMMITTED LONGER TERM BUT COURTS WILL ONLY DO 2 WEEKS INVOLUNTARY..

WINTER IS COMING,,,WHAT TO DO,WHAT TO DO,WHAT TO DO,,,,

MAYBE YOUR RIGHT....THERE IS NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO.....THANKS:praying
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:07 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome,

Here is a link to the Friends and Families of Alcoholics section of our forum.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

There you will find others who have an alcoholic affecting their lives.

My best to you,
Rowan
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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nice to meet you, 145times - my daughter is an alcoholic/addict, and alanon meetings really help me.

keep posting! blessings, k
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi 145times+,

I have a brother doing the exact same thing but he hasn't been to treatment that many times. He had quit drinking for 14 years and started again when a ten year suspended sentence was over. He is 65 and doesn't even get in touch with his children or me anymore.

He is living in our family home..a bad mistake because we are going to lose it to foreclosure due to back taxes.

My parents took care of him with their co-dependence...bailed him out of jail, paid late bills, gave him spending money...until they are both gone and he had no one to depend on.

I will not bail him out of jail nor will I pay anymore utility bills, or property taxes to help save my half interest in the sale of the house. The last time I went to see him he had a homeless man renting a bedroom and the water, electricity, garbage & phone were all off. He is now on Social Security and he gets $300 for rent from the bedroom a month. When I was there he was getting buckets of water from the neighbors to flush the toilet.

I am an alcoholic too and have been sober 19 years. So I understand some of his behaviors but not all. He doesn't seem like my brother since the alcohol controls his life. He never went to AA so really doesn't have any support to stay sober. He got upset when his best friend died of his alcoholism. This was a childhood friend of both of us.

I have written twice to my brother this past year and he hasn't acknowledged that I exist anymore. So Sad but I cannot be pulled into his world now. It was really hard when our Dad died and he was drunk every day while I was there. I had never been around my brother when he was drinking and he had not been around me when I was drinking. We live across the State of Washington from each other.

I really relate to you and what you are going through. :praying


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Old 10-16-2007, 01:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I just posted in two other threads about my sons, ages 51 and 50...both addicts/alcoholics. The older is finally clean and sober in a VA hospital for the past 8 months...the younger is still "doing his thing" (although without heroin right now)...currently in trouble with the law again through drinking and possession of pot.

I have 27 years of continuous sobriety through AA...and, although I have worried myself sick over the two of them for the past thirty years, I can tell you there is nothing you can do but pray that he hits bottom before it hits him.

Quote:
WINTER IS COMING,,,WHAT TO DO,WHAT TO DO,WHAT TO DO,,,,
I know what you mean...I used to actually be grateful that they were in jail where I knew they were at least warm and being fed. But, amazingly the active alcoholics are very resilient and masters at self-preservation. Take care of yourself and your Mom...it sounds like she needs your support and reassurance that God will watch over your brother...one way or another.
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Old 10-17-2007, 08:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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last night

THIS MORNING MY BROTHER CALLED ME TO TELL ME THAT WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING SHE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE AND BROKE HIS FRONT TEETH....I KEEP SAYING THE SERENITY PRAY.....THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT IN YOUR RESPONSE.....

I DID IT AGAIN AND WENT AND BOUGHT HIM GAS AND CIGS AND DOG FOOD FOR HER DOG YESTERDAY.....THEN THEY JUST LIED AND DRANK ALL NIGHT.....

THANKS FOR LI:praying STENING
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