It has now been 125 days and I still want to use!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
It has now been 125 days and I still want to use!
I gave up a lot the day I found out I was pregnant..........never ever did I ever think let alone plan on getting pregnant at my age and at the stage of life that I am at.......But enough is enough I am so damn angry because I want that drink. I want to do the plate of coke and the smoke the bales of weed, the be able to laugh and play like I used to be able to do, I miss the attention and being the life of the party......I am tired of being alone ALL of the time. I have forcefully cut myself off from friends, family and associates.....leaving just me the baby and my animals, in a new location with no desire to MAKE NEW friends, just too tired.......hell tired of being trapped in the house, dr won't even let me go to meetings anymore, I am board, lonely( yes I know the difference), and the sims game is growing VERY old indeed..................just wa nt the old me back today...........I miss her cocky a**!
When does it go away???? Even though I know I will never use again when does the want leave?????? My mouth is actually getting wetter thinking about a double shot of vodka and my hands started shaking.........it is so weird!!!!!!!!!!:sorry I just KNOW I am not willing to do this any more!!!
When does it go away???? Even though I know I will never use again when does the want leave?????? My mouth is actually getting wetter thinking about a double shot of vodka and my hands started shaking.........it is so weird!!!!!!!!!!:sorry I just KNOW I am not willing to do this any more!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi Katz, Just hang in there. Think about your baby. You don't want to hurt your baby. I know what you mean about the partying and having fun. I really miss it yet myself. So i have to remind myself what happen to make me want to stop and what its like now. I'm sober, i didn't wake up with a hangover today.
why doesn't your Dr. want you to go to meetings? I don't know much about pregnancy. i never had any children.
Do you have phone #'s you can call of people that you met at the meetings?
Definitely keep coming on here and posting and reading. There's also on-line AA meetings you can check out. That's what i do when i can't get to a meeting with my arm.
Just hang in there and don't pick up.
Barb
why doesn't your Dr. want you to go to meetings? I don't know much about pregnancy. i never had any children.
Do you have phone #'s you can call of people that you met at the meetings?
Definitely keep coming on here and posting and reading. There's also on-line AA meetings you can check out. That's what i do when i can't get to a meeting with my arm.
Just hang in there and don't pick up.
Barb
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Pamm,
What about calling AA and having someone talk to you on the phone or come over and spend time with you? Are you on bed rest? That must be so hard. I know it's hard but you're going to have to reach out - it will only get harder when the baby comes, hon. Babies are joyful but when you're newly sober and isolated - well - it can be difficult. I hope you start making some calls and reach out and try to build a network of women for support in your area. Hang in there, Pamm.
What about calling AA and having someone talk to you on the phone or come over and spend time with you? Are you on bed rest? That must be so hard. I know it's hard but you're going to have to reach out - it will only get harder when the baby comes, hon. Babies are joyful but when you're newly sober and isolated - well - it can be difficult. I hope you start making some calls and reach out and try to build a network of women for support in your area. Hang in there, Pamm.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Thank You Guys............Yeah I know, the phone, just tired of only that and the computer for interaction, yes I was placed on compleate bedrest almost 3 weeks ago..............I just finished up my last work week 2 weeks ago Thursday and I sware I am losing my mind!!!!!! I am having a lot of problems carrying the baby and they want me at home but I am not bad enough for nursing care yet.......thank god! I wasn't at meetings long enough to make valuable contacts so the one number I have is pretty much it...........lol I sit here and think how many times I have told others in the recovery the same words I can't see straight..........I actually volenteered my home for a small home group meeting ( the building they were using caught on fire) but it didn't work! Go figure! Sorry guys just feeling sorry formyself and wish the cravings would stop!
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,469
So sorry that you are struggling Pam. I will give you my number and you can call if you want to. I would call the local intergroup number and I am sure someone would come over and spend some time with you. I would if you were close to me.
Hang in there. I try to remember that it is OK to want to use but not okay to use.
Hang in there. I try to remember that it is OK to want to use but not okay to use.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Originally Posted by tanyapmc 
So sorry that you are struggling Pam. I will give you my number and you can call if you want to. I would call the local intergroup number and I am sure someone would come over and spend some time with you. I would if you were close to me.
Hang in there. I try to remember that it is OK to want to use but not okay to use.
Hang in there. I try to remember that it is OK to want to use but not okay to use.
watch out I have free long distance............lol
So not funny my cell phone rang in the middle of ME saying my vows....I answered it.....LOL
And I wonder why it ended in divorice....LOL
Thanks Everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 10
Hi Pamm
I'm new here and have thought about your post. I don't really know how to answer your questions.
You've come SO far already!!! I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be at 124+ days!!!
You have new life's to consider and you have been doing great from what I can tell, from the posts that I've read. I'm sure with your personality, that you don't need the drinks. You've posted far to many positive thoughts.
I've moved also in the past 5 years. After losing family and moving away from REAL friends, I can relate to the lonely feelings. 95% of the block I live on are single. They never come out and I couldn't tell you what they look like. I'm used to having friendly neighbors.
Anyway, aren't there groups for new mothers, get you out of the home, etc...that you can get involved in?
Susan
You've come SO far already!!! I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be at 124+ days!!!
You have new life's to consider and you have been doing great from what I can tell, from the posts that I've read. I'm sure with your personality, that you don't need the drinks. You've posted far to many positive thoughts.
I've moved also in the past 5 years. After losing family and moving away from REAL friends, I can relate to the lonely feelings. 95% of the block I live on are single. They never come out and I couldn't tell you what they look like. I'm used to having friendly neighbors.
Anyway, aren't there groups for new mothers, get you out of the home, etc...that you can get involved in?
Susan
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
I am sorry you're going through a tough time and that you miss going out and having fun. My life changed when I got sober too, but I do have fun doing simple things, so I am lucky. Also, I do not miss the socializing at all. I do hope you feel better!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Hey Wildkatz
Sorry to hear you are finding it tough right now. You are longer in sobriety than me so I cant really comment on whether it will get better. All I know is that you are doing a great job for all the right reasons and you should be proud of yourself. Hang in there!
Sorry to hear you are finding it tough right now. You are longer in sobriety than me so I cant really comment on whether it will get better. All I know is that you are doing a great job for all the right reasons and you should be proud of yourself. Hang in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Originally Posted by SZQ32653
I'm new here and have thought about your post. I don't really know how to answer your questions.
You've come SO far already!!! I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be at 124+ days!!!
You have new life's to consider and you have been doing great from what I can tell, from the posts that I've read. I'm sure with your personality, that you don't need the drinks. You've posted far to many positive thoughts.
I've moved also in the past 5 years. After losing family and moving away from REAL friends, I can relate to the lonely feelings. 95% of the block I live on are single. They never come out and I couldn't tell you what they look like. I'm used to having friendly neighbors.
Anyway, aren't there groups for new mothers, get you out of the home, etc...that you can get involved in?
Susan
You've come SO far already!!! I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be at 124+ days!!!
You have new life's to consider and you have been doing great from what I can tell, from the posts that I've read. I'm sure with your personality, that you don't need the drinks. You've posted far to many positive thoughts.
I've moved also in the past 5 years. After losing family and moving away from REAL friends, I can relate to the lonely feelings. 95% of the block I live on are single. They never come out and I couldn't tell you what they look like. I'm used to having friendly neighbors.
Anyway, aren't there groups for new mothers, get you out of the home, etc...that you can get involved in?
Susan
Ma Anna I wish I could give you a huge hug! Keep on fighting honey!!!!!!
BTW heres a good one for you all...........one of the things I am stressing about is my Drs appointment. I go have another Ultrasound on Wensday.....They are almost positive they can sex the baby this week and want to know if I want to know........I am most torn!!!!!!!!
Do I? Don't I?:praying
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 10
Either One Will be Beautiful
Male or Female...either way it will be a blessing!!! I don't know if I'd want to know or not. Either way, they will be a blessing!!! Get painting or something......Take care of yourself and your baby. If I was closer, I'd help. I Love a good project. Focus on the future!!
Susan
Susan
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