Hello - I am new
Ann
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: The Wild Mid-west
Posts: 44
Hello - I am new
Ok, this time it feels different. I've been sober a whopping 5 days and I feel better and I feel like I have a better mind set than during previous attempts. At least I am not planning and plotting a drink every waking second of the day. I went through my house and tried to remember all my secret hiding spots and threw out every thing that I could find. I asked my hubby if he wants to drink - please do not do it in front of me - - at least not right now.
The week-end is starting tonight and that will be my first big obstacle -- to make it sober through the week-end, when it is quite possible there will be others around me drinking. My hubby thinks that I should be able to "just quit drinking" no big deal. He doesn't realize why I am sick right now and that his little digs pertaining to alcohol really don't help. He has seen me fail so many times, I don't think he has any faith at all in me. AA is not for me. I know it does wonderful things for some, but just not an option for me at this time. Right now, I don't really have anybody to talk to, no one that understands that it is a little more tricky than to "just don't drink" so I hope I can find a place here.
The week-end is starting tonight and that will be my first big obstacle -- to make it sober through the week-end, when it is quite possible there will be others around me drinking. My hubby thinks that I should be able to "just quit drinking" no big deal. He doesn't realize why I am sick right now and that his little digs pertaining to alcohol really don't help. He has seen me fail so many times, I don't think he has any faith at all in me. AA is not for me. I know it does wonderful things for some, but just not an option for me at this time. Right now, I don't really have anybody to talk to, no one that understands that it is a little more tricky than to "just don't drink" so I hope I can find a place here.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
You have found a good place to come for support. It's hard for family members and other people to understand what we go through, how this disease destroys us and how hard it is to stop and pick ourselves up. That's one of the reasons I come here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 302
hi lacie - congrats on 5 days. i am on day 9 and will be facing the same obstacles this weekend. i also feel better than i have in a long time and threw all my oold stashes out yesterday. i have a going away thing for a friend tonight and they dont know that i am sober now so it shoud be an interesting night. good luck and keep going!! this board helps alot!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Hi LacieMay,
Welcome! I bought a book years ago by Jean Fitzpatrick (I think that is her name.) It was called: "Women for Sobriety". She told her story about her stuggles with getting sober and that she just didn't click with AA. She had a way of working through the first part of getting sober and hopefully a way to stay sober. I used her method combined with my AA Program. For me, the AA Program worked very well but we had about 12 women so also had a Women's only meeting at noon on Monday's. :praying It is hard for other's to understand alcohol problems if they don't seem to have any of their own. It is somewhat like Depression...when people tell you to "get up and do it" when you feel like you weigh 1,000 pounds & can't get up.
Welcome! I bought a book years ago by Jean Fitzpatrick (I think that is her name.) It was called: "Women for Sobriety". She told her story about her stuggles with getting sober and that she just didn't click with AA. She had a way of working through the first part of getting sober and hopefully a way to stay sober. I used her method combined with my AA Program. For me, the AA Program worked very well but we had about 12 women so also had a Women's only meeting at noon on Monday's. :praying It is hard for other's to understand alcohol problems if they don't seem to have any of their own. It is somewhat like Depression...when people tell you to "get up and do it" when you feel like you weigh 1,000 pounds & can't get up.
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Congratulations to you! Keep strong, I'm sure your husband has faith that you will succeed. I know that each time my bf stops I hope it will be for good. I think that the person living with the A begins to build a wall of protection around themselves just in case it doesn't last.
Good luck to you, try not to think of him right now you need to concentrate on you!
Good luck to you, try not to think of him right now you need to concentrate on you!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,019
Hello Laciemae! 5 days is a great start, and you'll find lots of support here. AA works for me but I understand it's not for everyone. I hope you find an alternative form of recovery, something that works for you. Well done on your clean and sober time!
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Laciemae,
Congrats on the sober time. 5 days IS A WHOPPING TIME! No one better understands the magnitude of the fight than another alcoholic. It is much easier to stay sober than it is to get sober! Therefore you should feel a sense of accomplishment for EVERY DAY that you are without a drink.
I have taken the liberty to quote from your post the following.
"AA is not for me. I know it does wonderful things for some, but just not an option for me at this time. Right now, I don't really have anybody to talk to; no one that understands that it is a little trickier than to "just don't drink"
Even though you have decided that "AA isn't for you" I will suggest that you WILL FIND the very thing that you say is lacking in your current situation, according to your statement, that is: someone to talk to, someone who understands that it is a little trickier than "just don't drink."
I believe that most of us wanted to believe that AA was not what we needed. I know that I have always said that the lowest point in my drinking was THE DAY THAT I WALKED INTO AN AA MEETING!! Seriously, it was at that point that I had to verbalize to absolute strangers that I'M JON AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. Hell, I knew and all my friends and family knew I was one. It wasn't the admission to family that I had a drinking problem that made it nearly as real and desperate as the action of doing so in front of people I didn't know.
I hated, absolutely hated AA the for the first 30 days (30+) meetings but I was desperate enough for a solution that I kept going until I began to understand AA, not until AA began to understand me. They understood me even BEFORE I walked into my first meeting! That was 8 years ago this coming Monday.
I just wanted to pass on my thoughts and hopefully I won't have offended you in any way. You see, it is incumbent on me as part of the process of AA to share freely that which was given freely to me a few years ago. I will say that you can always walk out of an AA meeting and never return. I WAS NEVER ABLE TO WALK AWAY FROM ALCOHOL NO MATTER WHAT ELSE I HAD TRIED BEFORE I FOUND AA.
Regardless of your choices, best of luck to you.
Jon
Congrats on the sober time. 5 days IS A WHOPPING TIME! No one better understands the magnitude of the fight than another alcoholic. It is much easier to stay sober than it is to get sober! Therefore you should feel a sense of accomplishment for EVERY DAY that you are without a drink.
I have taken the liberty to quote from your post the following.
"AA is not for me. I know it does wonderful things for some, but just not an option for me at this time. Right now, I don't really have anybody to talk to; no one that understands that it is a little trickier than to "just don't drink"
Even though you have decided that "AA isn't for you" I will suggest that you WILL FIND the very thing that you say is lacking in your current situation, according to your statement, that is: someone to talk to, someone who understands that it is a little trickier than "just don't drink."
I believe that most of us wanted to believe that AA was not what we needed. I know that I have always said that the lowest point in my drinking was THE DAY THAT I WALKED INTO AN AA MEETING!! Seriously, it was at that point that I had to verbalize to absolute strangers that I'M JON AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. Hell, I knew and all my friends and family knew I was one. It wasn't the admission to family that I had a drinking problem that made it nearly as real and desperate as the action of doing so in front of people I didn't know.
I hated, absolutely hated AA the for the first 30 days (30+) meetings but I was desperate enough for a solution that I kept going until I began to understand AA, not until AA began to understand me. They understood me even BEFORE I walked into my first meeting! That was 8 years ago this coming Monday.
I just wanted to pass on my thoughts and hopefully I won't have offended you in any way. You see, it is incumbent on me as part of the process of AA to share freely that which was given freely to me a few years ago. I will say that you can always walk out of an AA meeting and never return. I WAS NEVER ABLE TO WALK AWAY FROM ALCOHOL NO MATTER WHAT ELSE I HAD TRIED BEFORE I FOUND AA.
Regardless of your choices, best of luck to you.
Jon
Ann
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: The Wild Mid-west
Posts: 44
Thank you all. When I found this site yesterday, I read a few of the posts and just cried my eyes out. I felt like it was me talking. Everyone in my immediate family are heavy drinkers. I know that will be an obstacle as well. Today and only for today, I am working on waking up Saturday still sober. I will keep you posted. Thanks for being a place that understands.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23
I am on day 5 also and I am also worried about the weekend. My husband also drinks around me which makes it twice as hard I find. Good luck to you, maybe we can get through this together. Your story sounds pretty close to mine. We can do this!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15
Hi Lacimae, you sound like me. 
We all have to stick together. I have yet to make any good friends here, but I hope too.
I still unfortunately drink. I don't like it. Its like I need it. I can't sleep, and I get extremely anxious without drinking. So the way I see it, I could go to the doctor to get a prescription or I can drink.
OR.... what I should do is try to stop drinking and take up yoga or exercise more. Anything to get the excess anxiety out.
Good luck.
We all have to stick together. I have yet to make any good friends here, but I hope too.
I still unfortunately drink. I don't like it. Its like I need it. I can't sleep, and I get extremely anxious without drinking. So the way I see it, I could go to the doctor to get a prescription or I can drink.
OR.... what I should do is try to stop drinking and take up yoga or exercise more. Anything to get the excess anxiety out.
Good luck.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Hi Lacie,
Welcome and congrats on your five days! It's horrible isn't it? You have the right frame of mind, however, take each day, each hour, each minute if you have to. I can guarantee that life will be sooo much better without it.
Karen
Welcome and congrats on your five days! It's horrible isn't it? You have the right frame of mind, however, take each day, each hour, each minute if you have to. I can guarantee that life will be sooo much better without it.
Karen
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