need some reassurance!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 101
need some reassurance!
Starting to feel weak right now. This my "cycle". Now that everything has blown over, I think that I can handle more pills, and I'll be able to control it. I know in my right mind that I can't, and that I won't. It starts off very quiet, easy to control. But by the end of the week the craving will get out of control.
I wish I knew what to do to keep it at bay
I wish I knew what to do to keep it at bay
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi - I'm glad you posted - I can identify. The voice of the addict can be a seductive thing, and tell you nicely that you need the pills, and that you will be able to handle them this time.
Don't buy into it
Coming here and posting was a good idea - it gives the cravings less power when we talk about them. It's going to be hard to get through these early days, but it CAN be done. I've been off benzos for four years, but once in a while, when I'm feeling really down, I think how much nicer I would feel with them. That's when I call someone, post here, get to a meeting, go for a walk, light some incense, anything, ANYTHING but go hunting down some pills.
You can do this. Never give up.
Don't buy into it
Coming here and posting was a good idea - it gives the cravings less power when we talk about them. It's going to be hard to get through these early days, but it CAN be done. I've been off benzos for four years, but once in a while, when I'm feeling really down, I think how much nicer I would feel with them. That's when I call someone, post here, get to a meeting, go for a walk, light some incense, anything, ANYTHING but go hunting down some pills.
You can do this. Never give up.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Stay strong Ms. T.
Like Mike mentioned........meetings are a wonderful thing, especially when you're feeling so low. You walk into a meeting and there's all these people that actually understand how you are feeling. It's a nice feeling.
You can do this!
Like Mike mentioned........meetings are a wonderful thing, especially when you're feeling so low. You walk into a meeting and there's all these people that actually understand how you are feeling. It's a nice feeling.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Craving the feeling....
Hi,
It is so disturbing when our minds start telling us it will be okay if we take another drink or another pill...etc. You did right by coming here and also deciding to take a walk.
I had to take it a day at a time....my part-time job helped but I always worried about what I would do between the time I got off work and when the AA meeting started. I always made it through to the meeting time one day at a time.
I was no angel when drinking but thought about not getting in trouble with the law, Not losing my daughter to foster care, not losing my job, all these nots and more made me think I was not an alcoholic and that I could still drink responsibly.
That isn't what my body and reality told me. I looked like I was going to die any day. I had a RED face because I was allergic to the alcohol I drank. I hated my red face and that was one of my best kudos...nine months after I quit drinking....my red face was gone just like my doc said it would.
I will be sending thoughts and prayers your way. Please keep posting!
It is so disturbing when our minds start telling us it will be okay if we take another drink or another pill...etc. You did right by coming here and also deciding to take a walk.
I had to take it a day at a time....my part-time job helped but I always worried about what I would do between the time I got off work and when the AA meeting started. I always made it through to the meeting time one day at a time.
I was no angel when drinking but thought about not getting in trouble with the law, Not losing my daughter to foster care, not losing my job, all these nots and more made me think I was not an alcoholic and that I could still drink responsibly.
That isn't what my body and reality told me. I looked like I was going to die any day. I had a RED face because I was allergic to the alcohol I drank. I hated my red face and that was one of my best kudos...nine months after I quit drinking....my red face was gone just like my doc said it would.
I will be sending thoughts and prayers your way. Please keep posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 101
Back from my walk...
...and I feel much better. There are a lot huge hills were I live (even though its very urban). So I started up the hill and the more I thought about using the faster I walked. I got to the top huffing and puffing but I made it. I went to the grocery store and used the money that I would have spent buying pills on groceries. That same amount of money put two weeks worth of food in the refridgator. 
I wanted to go to A.C. Moore to get knitting needles but it started raining. I have to turn this "I wanna use" energy into something positive. It might as well be something that I can see when I'm finished. A lot of free time is the enemy!
I wanted to go to A.C. Moore to get knitting needles but it started raining. I have to turn this "I wanna use" energy into something positive. It might as well be something that I can see when I'm finished. A lot of free time is the enemy!
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